Infertility Support Group

In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

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missy12358104 02/02/2008

it was only a few things like two hats one for a boy and one for a girl and a card that is for a baby shower. i can understand where she is comming from and wanting me to get my hopes up for having a baby. she told me that she wants me to think about babies whenever i am looking up information about it or communicating on this board and that looking and touching the clothing will help me to relax. i have tried doing what she said and i will tell you it is working. holding the clothing in my hands and just looking at it puts me in that relaxed stage and makes me think about having a baby but i just worry that it will also get my hopes up too high and that i may come crashing down if i get a bfn. i can understand my family in trying to be supportive but unless you have been through infertility you realy have no idea what we are going through so i guess i cant blame my mother for trying because her heart is in the right place.

deleted_user 02/02/2008

It actually helps me to have those things. Our nursery is practically completed. It is painted and I buy things here and there. When I got a bfp in October my dh brought some cute things back from Argentina. I agree that it is such a heartache to get that bfn or as in my case a miscarriage. I still have faith in God and I believe having those things ensures a baby someday. Your mother's heart was in the right place. Good luck!

deleted_user 02/02/2008

I understand completely. I had a m/ca week ago and my mom is still buying baby stuff and maternity clothes for me, "For when you get pregnant again..." she says. It's hard to look at my empty bassinet and stuff, but when I am feeling strong, I look at them and it gives me hope. Don't be too hard on her, she loves you and wants to be a granny. I'm praying for you.

SweetPea19 02/03/2008

I give you girls credit...I don't know if I'd be able to hold baby's things or buy things just yet! I think it would depress me more.

But I'm happy it brings you all comfort and helps you relax!

It will happen for you girls and me soon!!!

deleted_user 02/03/2008

Here's how I see it. Whether you have those things or not, whether we want to or not, we will always get our hopes up during a cycle.

If having those things help you relax, then all the better. I have been doing Reiki with a friend to help me relax this cycle and this is the best one that I have had yet. I have less than 1 week until my beta. I made a Cd with music that I intend to play for my baby in the womb and to help it sleep once it is here in my arms. I am using that right now to visualize what I want.

Whatever gets us through.

deleted_user 02/03/2008

i understand exactly what you mean. my bassinett is "empty" but full of baby things i found on sale or just couldn't resist.i find alot of comfort in looking at those things or just walking in there and touching them.right after my tubal reversal surgery i bought a pair of pink booties and hung them above our bed for inspiration.a white pair came with them and i just stuck them in the night stand drawer next to the bed.when i get stressed out and can't sleep i get one of those booties out and hold it in my hand and i will calm down and fall asleep.i think we have to do whatever works for us to keep calm.

brenskopf 02/03/2008

Well I feel like a big fat chicken! I give you all a lot of credit for being so positive and brave. It's not that I'm a naturally negative thinker but I find myself afraid to look or buy anything baby related because I don't want to jinx it putting the cart before the horse. Anyway, maybe I should rethink that, it was great to read that it helps you all!

deleted_user 02/03/2008

When i didn't think I could handle anymore progestrone shots in my hip I took out some of the baby stuff and held it when I did my shots to remember why this is worth it. Kind of cheesy, but it helped. I love that Reiki stuff. My mom delivered 5 babies naturally doing it. I would love to have more info on it.

deleted_user 02/03/2008

I have been buying things myself. I decided I was going to make a faith chest. Kinda like a hope chest, but I'm not hoping that I will have a child, I have faith that God will give me a child. Since I started doing this it has really helped my mental state. I feel more positive and happier. We all know that the road of IF is like a road through the mountains of West Virginia with all the twists and turns and ups and downs and bumps so my mental state could change at any moment, but I know how you feel about having those things. I helps you to think positive. How fortunate you are to have a mom who thinks of things like that. She also sounds like she would be a person to listen if you told her that it bothered you at some point. I hope that it keeps you up and that you have no more downs. Prayers and baby dust to you.

strength4today 02/03/2008

if it's helping you and is a positive thing for you i say enjoy it. look at them, touch them, and think about the day you will see your child in them. they say the power of the mind is an incredible thing and i'm sure it won't hurt to be hopeful and positive about having a baby.

good luck hun!

deleted_user 02/04/2008

bless your mums heart!! you are stronger than i though coz i could not have any baby stuff! we were blessed with our son 4 yrs ago on iui but we have kept all his baby stuff in the loft (attic) as i cant bear it to be down!! wish i could maybe it would give me more confidence!!! ike you say your mums heart is in the right place.x

deleted_user 02/04/2008

Wow -you are strong. I can't bear to handle baby stuff. I am the queen of gift certificates for baby showers. I try to even avoid the baby section in stores. I think holding a peice of baby's clothing would bring me to tears. I know my SIL and my sister are both keeping things from their kids for me and that news hurts enough.

deleted_user 02/04/2008

I have a few things, old toys of mine and a few Disney things for our nursery, but nothing else. I would like to buy this stuff but DH wants to wait until we are actually pregnant to enjoy it then. I do have "What to expect when you are expecting" and I have read through that a couple of times. I justify it to myself by saying that I am just being prepared.

deleted_user 02/04/2008

Good for you and way to stay positive!

deleted_user 02/04/2008

you are a stronger person than i am i try to avoid the baby section unless i need to looking at all those cute baby things just makes me more depressed but i still have hope

deleted_user 02/04/2008

My mom does that do. She has stuff for a girl or a boy. I had created a nusery a few years a go. I had a crib, changing table, clothes, decorations, toys, the whole 9. I mean I had it all. The only reason for a baby shower would be to get together with friends and family. But as time went on I had to give all of it away. Going in my second bedroom or walking by was just so depressing for me. But I held on to a few pieces and once in a while ill pull it out to look at it.

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