I was diagnosed with PCOS three years ago. My doctor did a laparoscopy in order to confirm the diagnosis and discovered that both of my Fallopian tubes were damaged and scarred. She said it was from an infection I never even knew I had. During the surgery she was able to remove some scar tissue from the inside of the right side, but the left side was beyond saving. After the surgery she told me I only had a 30% chance of conceiving and it would be a long road. She put me on metformin and letrozole and we started the treatments. For three years nothing happened. My husband deployed to Afghanistan for 6 months and right before he came home I did my last cycle of letrozole. On September 13, 2013 I got a positive pregnancy test. I was so excited and extremely nervous because I had been told that I was a high risk for ectopic pregnancies. I went in that day to have the pregnancy confirmed and they did an ultrasound. They didnt see anything on the ultrasound and my quant level was really low so they warned me it could be an ectopic but it may also be really early on. Two days later they had me come in again and my quant level had gone up, but not doubled. The next time I went in the ectopic pregnancy was confirmed. I was so upset but hopeful that the MTX shot would take care of the pregnancy and no damage would be done to the only tube I had left. All week my quants were run and my doctor said she wanted to schedule a surgery just in case. The surgery was to be done to save my tube from the damage a rupture would cause and would still allow me the chance to get pregnant someday. The day before my surgery she called and said she didn't think the surgery was necessary because the level had stopped climbing. On September 22nd, the day after I was supposed to have the surgery, all of the sudden I was in blinding pain. I was rushed to the ER where they confirmed that the tube had ruptured and blood was pooling in my uterus and other areas. They rushed me into surgery and they took the tube out completely. Now I have no chance of having a baby. My only options are surrogacy or adoption. I can't believe this happened. The physical pain was pretty bad until about two weeks ago, but now that that has faded, the emotional pain has kicked in. I am so incredibly sad every day and all I feel is anger when I look at myself in the mirror. I am mad at my body for betraying me. I am only 27 and now my dream is over. I feel hatred and I well up in tears whenever I see someone who is pregnant or when someone on my Facebook wall posts a pregnancy announcement. I have become withdrawn and and I feel like I do not want to leave the house most days. I know I could have been a wonderful mother. That is all I have worked towards and thought about the last three years, and then just like that its over. It's not fair. I know that I still have a couple options, but those cost tens of thousands of dollars and it's not the same. I love my family, but I know they don't understand why I cry at the drop of a hat or why I am angry. I just wanted a baby. My doctor put me on Xanax and an antidepressant last week. I hope that helps.