Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
My husband and I have been trying to have children for 3 years. I am 41. I've had four miscarriages, all before 10 weeks, and after 1.5 years of using a variety of fertility drugs (and 0 pregnancies) i have had to accept the brutal truth. I am worn out and decided this last try (lupron microflare and follistim) would be it. I think I'm just prolonging the inevitable. I tried a number of regimens but, due to low amh, I wanted to try the lupron/follistim combination. The first time I had 7 follies with 4 looking great, but no pregnancy. The second time I only had 2, no pregnancy, and this past Friday, at day 11, I had none. I know it's time to move on.
I feel so strange, lost, and know that I am experiencing grief. I lost my sister years ago and feel somewhat similar right now. With her though, it was a loss of a living person and loving relationship, as well as dreams of the future, now it's a loss of a dream but also such a disappointing amount of other emotions (some due to the meds). My husband is trying to be as supportive as possible but he just doesn't fully understand how I feel. I've had a therapist for 2 years. I want to get beyond this stage and on to looking forward to pregnancy via donor egg. I've known for a while that third party pregnancy may be the only possibility but we always believed as long as we kept trying it would happen. I know there are others ways to motherhood, but I also want to experience being pregnant and giving birth to my child, even if the child is not "mine" in that sense. I am hoping that someone will share their experience of motherhood through donor egg(s) with me. I think that would help me to accept where I am and look forward to the future. Thank you. :)
I feel so strange, lost, and know that I am experiencing grief. I lost my sister years ago and feel somewhat similar right now. With her though, it was a loss of a living person and loving relationship, as well as dreams of the future, now it's a loss of a dream but also such a disappointing amount of other emotions (some due to the meds). My husband is trying to be as supportive as possible but he just doesn't fully understand how I feel. I've had a therapist for 2 years. I want to get beyond this stage and on to looking forward to pregnancy via donor egg. I've known for a while that third party pregnancy may be the only possibility but we always believed as long as we kept trying it would happen. I know there are others ways to motherhood, but I also want to experience being pregnant and giving birth to my child, even if the child is not "mine" in that sense. I am hoping that someone will share their experience of motherhood through donor egg(s) with me. I think that would help me to accept where I am and look forward to the future. Thank you. :)
Now that we have started the process I am feeling very hopeful again. It's not to say that I don't get angry and frustrated still but I am thankful that I have this opportunity to try again.
Please feel free to send me a message if you have questions about the process or just need to vent! Best of luck.
I'd like to share my journey with you with the thought that it will give you hope. DH and I fell into the unexplained infertility category, but since we started TTC when I was 38, I think my age had a lot to do with it. We did two IUIs and 4 IVFs all without a BFP. Finally at age 43 I did DE IVF and got my BFP (first try). It was a tough decision to get there, but I finally decided that being a mother meant more to me than having a genetic link to my child. You experience the joy of pregnancy and childbirth and the way I feel, the donor only contributed one cell, the rest was DH and me! When you do DE you are still the biological mother as you carry the baby. I thank God for the selfless gift our donor gave us and my only regret is that we didn't do it sooner. DH and I now are the proud parents of an amazing DD. I'm at peace with all we went through to finally become her parents because if it had happened any other way, she wouldn't be her.
There is a group on Daily Strength called IVF with Donor Eggs or Donor Embyros, you may want to join that group. You can find a link to it on my homepage. I got lots of support and great advice from the wonderful, strong women in that group. The best advice I got was to select a proven donor.
Good luck to you and feel free to message me if you have any questions at all for me on the DE journey.
First of big hugs .. I am so sorry for your losses and your disappointments with fertility. This is my DE experience .. started trying as soon as I got married at 2006 at age 34 I got pregnant naturally right away but them lost it really early .. for next eight years we tried. I had 4 more miscarriages, two surgeries to correct a septum uterus, countless labs and countless medicated IUI cycles. Finally when I got to my final fertility specialist I got some answers ... she gave me a 30% chance that IVF would work with my own eggs, and that percentage was just for a pregnancy not to carry full term, that is when we decided to go the DE route, not an easy decision to make and grief is exactly the emotion that I felt as well (along with really pissed off and super sad!). But now that I am 25 weeks pregnant with twin I am so happy that I made this decision and like Yvonne said my only regret is that I didn't do this sooner and every time I feel them kick or see them squirming on the u/s screen I know in my heart that they are 100% MINE, genetics be damned!! If you have any questions or just need support, I am here!! Good luck
Its not very active, but full of good info from past discussions.
My twins turn 3 months today! I was only 30 when we found out my eggs were shit so that was really hard to take. It was our 2nd IVF and out of 22 follicles I ended up with ZERO embryos to transfer. Talk about a kick in my v-jay! It took me 6 months from that discovery until I was ok with the idea of using and donor.
One of the things that really helped was talking to Yvonne and some of the other DE mommas. One thing I did not know at first that made me feel much better about the process is that using DE, you are not genetically the mom, but you are biologically. And your body actually helps decide which genes are the ones that develop. And your body is the one that gives life to the fetus. Your blood nourishes them. Thinking of it that way made it much easier for me to take.
Also, I never once look at my boys and think of the donor. I just think how awesome they are and how much they look like their daddy. They are 100% mine. I do think of my donor from time to time because I am so thankful for her selfless act. And I was the 4th woman to become a mommy because of her. I think she is pretty amazing because of that. But all she is, is our donor.
If you have any questions, do not be afraid to ask!
Good luck!