Infertility Support Group

In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

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Losing hope to misery

morgan_noel33
morgan_noel33

My husband and I have been trying for 4 years to get pregnant. The cause for our infertility is a male factor. We have been to several doctors that have never given us much hope. We go in May for an IVF consult but I'm not feeling too hopeful with that because the success rate is so low for the amount of money that we just don't have to spend on IVF. I'm struggling becaue it seems like everyone around me is pregnant, my cousin is getting ready to have the first great grandchild in my family and that is so hard for me to see my grandparents excited to finally get a great grandchild. Not that I'm not happy for her, it just hurts because I've been trying for so long to give my grandparents a great grandchild. I found out last night my little sister is pregnant. How do I cope with this? I'm excited because I'm going to be an aunt but I'm so devastated that I'm not the one making my mom and dad grandparents. What do I do? How do I react? Why is this happening to me and my husband? I'm struggling and I feel like I'm alone in this. My husband is wonderful and always there for me but no man understands the desire to be a mother. I know people who have struggled with infertility so they know how I feel but they all have children now. They have success stories that I don't have...

rumnougat
rumnougat
I wish I could tell you how to cope with finding out your little sister is pregnant before you. I would probably be a mix of excited to be an aunt and so jealous I could stab someone. I've always assumed.that I would be the one to make my parents grandparents but now I'm not so confident.

I don't know how to pay for IVF, either. Have you researched ways to finance it? Would your families help you pay for it? If you guys have male factor infertility, would it be possible and/or less expensive to use a sperm donor? Or would that be too much for your husband to bear? Have you guys talked about adoption?
morgan_noel33
morgan_noel33
Yeah I have done a lot of research and actually spoke with people who have done it and it is extremely expensive and insurance doesnt cover any of it. My family would help, we just hate to take from them. I don't believe we'll do a sperm donor because I do think that would hurt my husband more than he is already hurt and I would never do that to him. We have considered embryo adoption and domestic adoption. I have an application now for embryo adoption and I'm hopeful that may be the route we take. I just wish so badly we could be like everyone else and do it on our own. Thank you for talking with me. I hope you get all wishes as well.
AngelBabe1986
AngelBabe1986
That is tough. I myself am wondering how to pay for any fertility treatment, IUI, IVF or even adoption at this point. I am the baby in a family of 5 and all my siblings have multiple kids, I also have a niece that had a baby young and another 18 year old that I have a baby shower for on Saturday and feeling the same way. I catch myself wondering all the time why them and not me when will it be my turn. Its hard for me too because all though my mother has many grandkids I know she would love more and the fact it didn't happen before my dad passed away. My husband's siblings don't have kids and don't plan to so we are the only hope for my father-in-law to ever be a grandpa and would love to give him that. It is a constant struggle and I don't feel comfortable for reasons telling many about my struggle. Thankfully I have a few close friends I can talk to but they can't fully relate. I had one year where all 3 of my friends were pregnant at the same time and got pregnant as soon as they went off birth control so I have many times I can completely relate to the pain and how hard of a situation that is. I just try to take it one day at a time and reach out to others in this group to lean on and gain support. Best of luck to you and will be praying for you.