Infertility Support Group

In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

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sfuchs1980 01/02/2012

so my sister and sister in law are both pregant and due in May. I want to be happy for them but just can't i actually have anger towards one (sister) as this is her third baby in three years like really some of us want children too. What's even worse are her children are totally neglected. To top it off with both of them but stuff on face book baby ultra sounds week count downs ect. like common on some of us don't want or need to be reminded that were not pregant. No matter what it brings me down and at times brings me to tears like when is it going to me my turn already.

I know i should be happy for them but i just can't find it in me and i'm tired of them putting it in my face. hearing all about the baby growing, doctor's appoinment, what all they need to do to get ready for the baby ect. i just can't take anymore and don't know how to tell them to drop it all ready. They just don't have a clue what it is like to want a baby so bad and not be able to get it and then have it rubbed in our face by a family member.

Just what do i tell them.
Sorry i just needed to vent i'm boiling with fustration.

Good luck to all in 2012

JA0811 01/02/2012

Do you generally have a good relationship with them? Maybe it would help to let them know about your struggles (if you haven't already) and just ask that they try to be sensitive. i know what you mean about wondering when it will be your turn, and also about Facebook- ugh! i am so tired of all the mom's posting how excited they are that their child slept ___ hours! who the heck cares?! I decided to unsubscribe from most of my pregnant friends, and I've been surprised at how much that helped. someone brought up one of them the other day- that they had their baby- and i had totally forgotten about them! before, i envied them on a daily basis, and i realized i had gone weeks without even thinking about them and their pregnancy. i know it is different when its family, but it might help, just on the Facebook side, to unsubscribe for a time.

deleted_user 01/02/2012

I totally hear you on the excessive fb reminders about pregnancy (and babies). Even being fortunate enough to have our last IVF work, it still annoys the hell out of me! So inconsiderate!
Last spring/summer I couldn't take it anymore, so I hid a bunch of people. This way you can stay friends with them on fb, but their annoying posts won't fill your newsfeed. You can un-hide them whenever you are ready.
hang in there!!!!

deleted_user 01/03/2012

No need to apologize for venting. Wow, talk about a double whammy with both your sister and sis n law...and it's family so it's not like you can really avoid them.

I can empathize with you completely. Similar situation with me but I had 3 of my bf's preggo and I found out 2 of them were preggo the same day. 1 of my 3 friends was the worst about talking about it on fb and emails. Her baby is now 1 1/2 and she is still all about her baby....she'll make comments like how "she has never known love like she does now that she is a mommy" or share pictures and vids for every single event, etc. Ugh.

Of course it's natural for a woman to be happy about being pregnant and want to talk about it. Heck, I'd want to talk about it to. But if they know you dealing with IF then they should be more sensetive.. but at the same time not feel guilty either. It's a balance, I guess.

I agree with JA0811 and goldennote07 about the fb thing. Unsubscribe if that's what makes you feel better. And you can always get things off of your chest here...that's what we're all here for :)

mikalyn 01/03/2012

I agree with everyone... you should unsubscribe. It may also help to take a break from facebook too. Infertility is so hard to deal with. The worst part for me is everyone around you being pregnant. Just hang in there and know your time will come soon !

idem 01/03/2012

ignore all of it & try as best as possible to remove yourself from the situation (which includes fb)....just a suggestion

deleted_user 01/03/2012

Wow - so I read these posts and then went on facebook and the first item in my newsfeed was my neighbor and a picture of her belly... 15 weeks pregnant.

It's like a punch in the stomach, especially since I just found out today that I am going to be having another miscarriage.

I am definitely going to block her for a while. I just wish she would keep it to herself... not that I can really avoid her anyway. She lives across the street.

I totally understand! Hang in there. I HATED my sister for being pregnant with both of hers and I hate my neighbor right now. It is normal. The amazing thing about it is somehow, you will still find it in yourself to love your nieces and nephews. I hated my sister, but I have loved my nieces from the day they were born. Good luck. I hope you can find a way of dealing with them.... if nothing else, start a count down until the babies are born!!! They'll think you're excited... you can know you're counting down to the end of the torture from ultrasound photos and belly pictures!!!

sfuchs1980 01/04/2012

thanks every body for the advice and input,

jaimeTB i am so sorry to hear of your miscarriage keep your chin up. your turn will come.

deleted_user 01/14/2012

My sister and close friend are both expecting in 2012 so I completely understand how you're feeling. Trust that you're not alone and that everything you're feeling is probably pretty normal - has been for me anyways! Make sure you take the time to check your feelings as these pregnancies progress... Allow yourself time to cry :) stay strong. I am so sorry you have to feel this.

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