Often the people who believe IF is part of God's plan are people who have children. I don't believe it is God's plan to give children to crackheads. I think God gives doctors wisdom so they can treat women like us.

I am very sad to hear about your loss. Good luck with your decision and copious amounts of babydust.

I don't think it's gods plan that anybody suffers with IF. I dont think it was gods plan that I have PCOS, or that I should have an ectopic and lose a fallopian tube and for the other tube to be scarred beyond repair. I think its biology, and sometimes biology screws up. I decided when I found out all my issues that I would find a way around it. If it came down to it, I'd adopt. I'm a science major and I find it fascinating the things we can do. I mean is it gods plan that someone with cancer should die when modern science can save them?
I think we all have problems in our lives, whether IF or something else and its up to us to do the best that we can with it.

Thanks ladies. Your comments are very well said and have made me feel better about some of my doubts! I especially like the thought that "God gives doctors the wisdom so they can treat women like us".

I'm sorry to hear about your loss... IF and taking the steps to IVF is a tough one... I had many thoughts and questions wondering if I was doing the right thing but I completely feel comfortable with my decision.

I have noticed, like you, many people putting down that they are not going to do IVF because of "personal reasons." To be completely honest, I feel a little judged because I made the decision to do so. I think that everybody has the right to do what they would like and I also believe that God is sticking by my side and he is the only one to judge my decisions. I also respect the people that have decided that IVF is not the path that they want to take, that they don't want to take it that far. But really, all of this is "unnatural", IUIs and medications, etc. Everyone has to make the choices that are best for them.

I also agree with babyjill... It's not like God chooses to give babies to child molesters or drug users. God has helped people advance in technology to help us. This is what I believe...

I have a feeling you will have some very strong opinions to your post. It's wonderful to talk about it... I was too chicken to bring it up... Sorry again for your canceled cycle. It's tough and I wish you luck.

I fully agree that it is each person and each couples right to believe what they believe and choose what is best for them. My beliefs are just that, mine. I am sharing them because you asked and I in no way want to offend anyone.

The way I look at IVF is the way I look at many things in life. I believe God is our creator and I believe that He works through all of us. Many times I believe we pray but do not see the answers because we are expecting God himself to come down and tell us the answers. Do I believe God can miraculously cure anything? Yes, I do. But I also believe that God works through people to do the same thing.

It is my belief that God worked through the people who came up with ways to treat cancer, heart disease, diabetes, lung disease, etc. If I believe God would work through people to help save life then why would I not believe God would work through people to help those of us with a disease of the reproductive system be able to give birth? Even though the doctors are obtaining the eggs and the sperm and putting them together, they are not the reason the life of that child exists. The reason the life of that child exists is because God worked through the researchers, doctors and the rest of the people who then put the eggs and sperm together which resulted in life. As we all know, if life is not meant to be, even with IVF then it will not be. Just as with a heart transplant or cancer treatment or anything else along those lines, if we are not meant to continue living, then we won't.

There is a saying, I can't remember it exactly but basically a man was sick and he kept praying to God for help. God kept putting doctors and other people in the man's path to help him but he kept telling them he did not need their help because God was going to help him. Eventually the man died of his illness and when he got to heaven he asked God why he did not help him. God replied that he sent the doctor and several other people to help heal the man but the man turned them all away.

That is how I see IVF and why I do treatments. I know in my heart that if I am not meant to have a biological child, carry a child or give birth to a child then no matter how many IVF, FET or donor cycles I do, it will not happen if God does not intend it to happen for me. I also know that if it is not meant to happen for me and I continue to pray about it then I will know in my heart when and if it is time to move on.

Again, this is what I believe and I do not judge anyone else if they believe they should not do IVF for any reason. I do not feel it is my place to judge.

I am very sorry for your loss and I hope and pray you find the answers that are right for you.

I'm not at the point of having to make a choice about whether or not to use IVF, but I have some preliminary thoughts - for myself. I asked my DH if he would ever consider ivf (he's a Christian minister), and he said that he wasn't certain...we would have to know more facts first.

I think my main concerns would be:
1. Creating more embryos than we'd ever use. We will not want to kill any, or have them frozen for long periods of time. We recently heard that many die in the freezing stage...so we are not sure if we're comfortable with exposing what we consider to be sacred human life to such harsh and even potentially fatal conditions, knowingly.
2. We already agreed that if we ever do ivf, we would only transfer the number of embryos that we would feel comfortable and safe carrying all the way to term...because we refuse to do any selective reductions.
3. We would have to have a real plan for any unused embryos...either we use them all...or potentially donate them...but I struggle with thinking about it as giving our children up for adoption...although that is highly preferable to letting them remain in a frozen state, or to dispose of them like they were "leftovers"...we know that we won't do that to human life.

...there are probably many other factors to consider...and I am on the fence about it myself. I would want to pray and feel very certain that my choices are moral and ethical before proceeding.

...as for the technology side of things...I have zero problem with using modern technology. We go to doctors, we use motorized transport, we send children to schools, etc. We, as a society are highly dependant on technology and resources to enhance our lives...that is part of being human. I feel okay about using and doing those things that will not threaten or hinder my relationship with God...things that do not go against God's laws and guidance. Things that do not go against God's ethical teachings about human life.

...ivf is a choice you need to make...I would encourage you to simply be informed about every part of the whole process...and make your choice(s) based upon how you and God would feel about those choices. Ultimately, it is really between you, your spouse, and the Lord.

P.S. I want to also say that if and once you do become pregnant...no matter how the way, do know that God has a plan and purpose for each person...he will not reject any based on their parents' method of conception.

Inform yourself. Pray. Seek God. Do what is right...do what you can live with...do what God is telling you to do, regardless of what anyone in the world says...including me.

I wish you the best as you hope and strive for a family of your own.

Blessings!

Why would GOD create the drs who do IVF if it wasnt in his "plan"? I could NEVER look at my son, who was conceived through IVF, and think he wasnt in Gods plan. You have to do what is right in your heart and follow that. JLo is an idiot.

i am a born again pentecostal missionary and my husband is an elder at our church ,we are going to our 4th ivf cycle soon,and i don't think there is anything sinful about seeking help when we need it,i also believe that the lord has plans to all of us,but i refuse to acept that infertility is God's plans for anybody,the bible says in psalms 127
that inheritance of the lord are the fruit of the womb(babies)
i respect the way people see ivf,as for me i see it as God's way of blessing many couples who suffer with infertily,Gods plans for us acording to the bible is for us be fruitful,to be healthy and happy,bad things hapen but it's not God's will,i hope you feel peace in your heart and i also hope that the lord may bless you with a beautiful and healthy baby.

I believe that God has a plan for all of us. I do agree with many others that God created special people to treat and take care of women like us, just like he created special people to take care of cancer patients.
My husband and I have battled IF for 3 heartbreaking years. We wasted a year of our time with one RE that was only looking to my husband as the problem because of low sperm count and never giving me a look even though I knew I had problems long ago. We started going to another RE and....OMG at the difference!! I really think God intervened and put us in the right hands. This RE really got us and immediately started to diagnose ALL of our problems and got on the ball with our IF. He does fertility treatments but no longer does IVF because he feels our city is not big enough to support a large and successful IVF center. He told us "I made my mind up a long time ago, I want what is best for my patients and if this means sending them somewhere else for the best treatment....so be it" My husband and I instantly fell in love with him and knew we were finally on the right track.
The first time we stepped foot into the IVF center our RE sent us to, I also had an overwhelming feeling of "God wants us here". He had interviened again and a peace came over me. We plan to start our first and hopefully successful IVF cycle next month. I can't say enough good about the clinic we are going to. They are supportive and have worked with us on everything from making sure we have every question answered to helping us work out the financial part.
3 yrs ago I never dreamed (or nightmared!) trying to have a child would be so impossible. But as painful as its been, I know God has been with us all along and carrying us when we couldn't carry ourselves. I pray everyday that our IVF cycle works and we concieve the baby we have wanted for so long. Whatever happens.....I know God loves us and will take care of us no matter what. God bless

I will tell you want my doctor told me...there are people who decide against IVF and do not look back. There are others that always second guess themselves if they do not try. I am afraid I would be in the later group. I know for me, if I did not try everything possible I would always wonder. I share that to say you must do what is right for you.

When people judge me for choosing to do IVF, and mention God & his plan for me, I always remind myself that MY God will not judge and he has not forsaken me.

As a side note for anyone struggling with the decision about embryos, my RE asks how many to fertilize prior to retrieval.

Good luck with your decision.

Thank you to everyone for your replies! I knew this was a touchy subject when I posted it but it's been weighing on my mind and this is always such a great place to go to get a diverse and set of opinions!

I have been battling IF for almost 4 years. Throughout this struggle I have had a lot of doubts in God and my faith. But, deep down I know that I could never get through this awful journey without Him. I guess the most recent pregnancy also got me thinking. This was the first time we conceived on our own since 2006. It made me think maybe we should try on our own a little longer. I'm thinking once my body gets back on track we will try one natural cycle then move on to IVF. I have most of the meds already and have taken the classes so we are pretty much ready to go.

Z1977...I didn't know about the possibility of choosing a number eggs to fertilize beforehand. That would make my comfort with the idea much greater. I really appreciate knowing that information.

Good thread...discussion is good.

Perhaps I'll need to consider ivf more heavily at some point down the road...but as it stands, after 12 years of struggling with IF, thinking things would just happen miraculously for us, I'm only going for my first IUI this coming week (whenever my body decides to O).

Blessings to each of you in your journey!

(...to my IF sister who is the pentecostal missionary...my DH is credentialed / ordained with PAOC...small world)

:-)

Personally, I think you need to do what is right for you. Fortunately, my church and my minister support IVF when other methods of trying to conceive haven't worked. I also feel that if it weren't for IVF I wouldn't have my daughter. My daughter is a gift from God because she was born two months after her biological father died. So, I believe that God wanted me to have my daughter even if it was through IVF. I support using IVF as a way to conceive a child .