People that have not dealt with infertility have no clue of how insensitive they are being. "Maybe it isn't the right time, it'll happen will it suppose to, have you thought about adoption, just relax." Things us IF girls have all heard. Take comfort in knowing that you are taking the steps in the right direction to find out what the issue is. If it is someone close to you that say these things tell them that it is hurtful. Hang in there. You are not alone.

After my 2nd failed IVF when we basically decided there was no hope for my eggs, I told a good friend that. She responded, well maybe now that you are not thinking about it or trying too hard it will happen. I wanted to slap her! People who have not walked in our shoes just do not get it.

You are not alone. I hope all the testing gives you a path of treatment that will work well for you.

When people say things like that I want to scream, people that have not been through IF just don't get it. I am sorry that you are here but hopefully you will find answers soon through testing. Infertility can be so heartbreaking and frustrating but it helps to have women here that know exactly what we are going through. Hugs!

I resorted to telling people who said that to me that it only works that way for people who aren't fertility-challenged. That shut them up right quick.

Urgh! Well, obviously it will happen when it happens. That's pretty flippin' obvious. The sucky part is the wait till it actually does. And, the process during that wait. And the meds/needles/heartache/sickness/depression that comes along with it.

After trying for a while I became so mad and bitter that I had some good come backs. For this: The above. "thanks, captain obvious". Or, "I really hope you never understand why what you just said is hurtful". Then let them figure it out for themselves.

Sorry for the dumb comments. Although I don't wish IF on anyone, I do wish the knowledge and compassion we have all gained. And on the bright side, I am forever grateful that I now do understand it. If I ever said something stupid (which I'm sure I would), and caused someone pain, I would feel horrible. Well, no need to worry about that now! :)

Yes to all of the above! And these stupid unsolicited comments we all hear like "oh, just relax, or go on a cruise" Always comes from people with more kids than they have time for. I just want to respond back sometimes with something sassy but I just can't. Fertile people really are clueless to what we go through on a daily basis.

For some of use it wont just happen It will never just happen for some women. Some of us need medical assistance to make it happen. And some of us it cant happen for so we might need a surrogate or donor eggs, ect. For some it just will not happen in its own. I know people are just trying to be positive and nice, and of course they dont really know what else to say. But it is still very annoying for use who know better. I hope you day/week gets better and remember you are not alone.

I hear ya! That is like the curse of all things to say to someone, and I HATE it too!!!! Sometimes I wish I could go back and decide to never tell my family or friends about our i/f, but it's not me. I am open. However, I do wish that we could all just hand a magic book of < "WHAT THE FUCK NOT TO SAY" to a person suffering through infertility. I am sorry hon. Hang in there!

I am also new to this but when I saw your post, I just shouted "THANK YOU!" I am so tired of my friends (or even my sister) saying "it will happen when it's meant to" or "it's in God's plan"- well what if it's not! It's almost just as bad as the "relax and it will happen" or "just stop trying" I decided I had to join an online support group because people who aren't going through it, just don't get it.

I agree whole heartedly. It one of the hardest parts is people always spitting out their advice when they have absolutely no idea what you're going through. Hang in there. We all know exactly how maddening that can be and we are here to support you are let you vent as much as you want and to let you know you're not alone.

Amen to all of this!!!
Mine is always "you are too stressed about it".... of course I'm stressed about it!!! They are well meaning, but horribly uninformed.
And I agree w mrsstrong- we probably all did it at one point, too, without even realizing.

Here is a great list from infertility awareness week- you can even send it along to your people!
http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/25-things-to-say-and-not-to-say.html

Hang in there!!