Infertility Support Group

In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

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MomHopes 01/26/2009

As many of you know I just had my 3rd miscarriage at about 11 weeks. 6 days before I found out I was miscarrying I was laid off from my job which was 60% of our household income. Our insurance is through DH's job but his job is extremely unstable. We literally go from day to day hoping there are no layoffs.

After the m/c I just kept thinking how we could try again asap. BUT now I'm thinking maybe it's crazy to even be trying right now. With our income slashed by more than half and not knowing if DH will keep his job it seems like the last thing we should be doing is trying to expand our family. On the other hand we've been trying for almost 3 years, I am 30.5 and DH is 33.5. We don't want to put off a family any longer. With meds IUIs cost us about $500 a cycle (as long as we have insurance).

Should I let our sudden money problems get in the way of having a baby??

Ahopper 01/27/2009

My mom always told me that if people waited until they could afford a baby then they would never have any. I would say continue trying and God will work the rest out. I am praying for you.

deleted_user 01/27/2009

Definitely not. You will find a way to pay for raising a child. The time will never seem right if you wait. And you will be kicking yourself if you continue to have trouble after waiting for this reason. I wish you the best. I know how difficult it is. I am 80% of our income but my insurance covers 0, so we are looking fwd to DH's insurance kicking in at his new job. In the meantime we are out $1600 per month for injections and timed intercourse (can't afford iui). All going on a credit card for now. Please keep trying.

strength4today 01/27/2009

i agree. if you put it off you'll most likely regret it and always wonder what if. like ahopper said, if people wait to have a baby until they can afford one they'll most likely never have one. good luck hun!!

deleted_user 01/27/2009

All I can do is share my own experience so here goes:
My husband and I just had to face the big finances issue ourselves. We had a second opinion consult which filled me with hope for our IVF cycle. When we came home to discuss the particulars, my husband filled me in on how our business is barely making ends meet. After reviewing our funds which is nearly 1/2 what it was, he just felt we needed to wait a month or two. I was devastated! Waiting is so hard when everything is going great but with everything topsy turvy...I look at this as a short delay on this journey of uncertainty! Who knows ..a miracle could come along in the meantime! Search your heart, trust yourselves to know what is right for you! Good Luck!

skuhn 01/27/2009

I agree totally with Ahopper. If it were me I maybe not do the IUIs for a while and just see what happens. I know that seems harsh but $500 bucks is $500 bucks. God will do what is right for you guys.

deleted_user 01/27/2009

I lost my job in September and we are trying to look at it as a gift - that I will have less stress from my job. I traveled about 60% of the time and had a big load on my plate. It's hard, because now you stress about money, but the best thing you can do now is work up a budget. I did that and made cuts where I could and we are still okay in pushing forward. IVF is probably not an option for us financially, but IUIs are still viable. Once you figure all this out, maybe you can feel better about not putting this on hold.

theletter12 01/27/2009

I don't think so. But that is only my personal opinion. I started to ttc when I was 31 and now I am 36 and still never been pregnant. After awhile age really affects things...I think sometimes I should have started way sooner...but it didn't work out. If you would become pregnant and you still don't have a job..there are lots of government programs that pay for all kinds of things for your and your child. I wouldn't let money hold you back too much. You might just find out this time is a blessing in disguise.

RoxiesMama 01/27/2009

I also agree with Ahopper.....there never is enough money...no matter what. I also think that if none of us had any of the issues we had...you would already have your baby...or be pregnant with your baby...and the end result would be the same. You losing your job. Its not fair for US LADIES to always have to think about these things when others just say "oops...i'm pregnant" with a drop of a hat. As long as you want a family I would continue trying until you have gotten your happy ending. GOOD LUCK TO YOU!

deleted_user 01/27/2009

I have a similar experience and feelings to the post from TheLetter12 below. In our case have known for a while that DH had IF issues, we put trying off because of work responsibilities and both of us out of town all the time with work travel. In hindsight, with all the delays, cysts, cancellation, BCP, BFN and waiting, we just wish we had started as soon as we knew there were issues. Age has become a concern for us, we both really regret waiting and wish we had started much sooner. You can only do what makes you comfortable but all the waiting can be very frustrating, there really is never the perfect time and somehow it all works out. Best of luck in your decision and for a BFP!!!

deleted_user 01/27/2009

Did you get testing for recurrent m/c? I would do that and focus on what can be done to prevent it first and then try another IUI. As for the money, perhaps things will get better while all the testing is being done. Also, sometimes people get pg naturally. In my face to face group 11 ladies got pg last year (out of 24) and 5 of them naturally, in between cycles.

deleted_user 01/27/2009

Before we got married we had pre-marrital counseling with our minister. He said there will always be a chance of financial problems don't let that stand in the way of having the blessing of children. I agree with jptobe. I say cut back on whatever else you can cut back on to save money for now and keep going with what you're doing. As our minister said anything could happen with our finances throughout our lives. What if the job loss had happened after you already became pregnant? Or had the bably? You can't send the baby back for a refund. We do what we have to do to have the things we want and sometimes just to stay afloat. There will always be ups and downs. We shouldn't think of a baby as an added financial burden but a blessing. Believe me I'm saying all of this for myself as much as for your encouragement.

MomHopes 01/27/2009

Thank you everyone for your replies. I really needed some reassurance that I wasn't being completely irresponsible by trying to have a baby right now. I just hope we can get another BFP soon.

To answer some questions, yes we are having testing done to see if there was something that caused the m/c. We hope to get those answers in another week.

Without IUI our chances of conceiving are very low because DH has morphology issues. Somehow we got pg 2.5 years ago without help (m/c at 6 wks) but then we tried over a year and nothing...so as long as we can come up with the money I think IUI is our best chance.

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