This post sounds like something I have written many times. I also have PCOS and have tried several cycles of Clomid and have felt all the feelings you are feeling and still do. I also am surrounded by people who dont want kids or have several, so completely get the feeling of not being around people who truly understand. I was just telling someone yesterday how I feel like I have so many people who sympathize however they have no idea how I feel. Dont get me wrong I appreciate their support however at the end of the day they haven't been in my shoes. I try to remind myself that everyone feels that way about one thing or another. There are struggles that people in my life face that I cant fully understand as it may be something I havent experienced myself. I joined this group for the same reasons. It does make it a little easier having people to chat with who do know exactly what I am feeling. I also remember when my best friend got pregnant on accident for the second time and feeling so devastated that I didnt want to get out of bed. It is such a odd feeling. I love her kids with all my heart and cant imagine my life without them but also feeling so angry at the world about it at the same time. You cant help how you feel and unfortunately this is just part of the process.

We are just getting ready to do IVF now (start injections thursday) and I am scared to death. Scared it wont work, scared to get excited etc. If you ever want to talk message me. I can say I know how you feel and would be more than willing to talk with you if you ever need. Sending lots of prayers!!

I also have PCOS - pretty severe. My AMH levels have tested between 37-40, which a couple of doctors told me that hadn't ever even seen before. So, they weren't sure if my body would even respond to clomid or letrozole. Fortunately it did, but I remember the crushing disappointment of the first failed cycle. I thought, well, this is the first time in all of the months we've tried that things are working...it has to happen! Unfortunately, that's just not how it goes... After 4 failed rounds of clomid (all of which I ovulated from and had a properly timed IUI), I asked to switch to letrozole, because I heard some women with PCOS do better with letrozole. First letrzole cycle didn't work; second one worked but ended in a miscarriage. Then I tried another (a 7th IUI) and it worked again...so just praying that I stay pregnant this time.

It is a long and hard road, but all you can do is hang in there. Sometimes it feels impossible - after my first 3 failed IUIs, I didn't think I could handle it anymore. But somehow you find a way to push on - because you want this more than anything else. And of course other people will get pregnant (and some even announce pregnancies and give birth) during the process, but I truly believe you will eventually have success!

Sending you strength and hugs for clomid round #2, and if you get frustrated with clomid, I suggest talking with your doctor about letrozole because you just never know...

Thank you ladies SO MUCH for the comforting words!

I think the thing I struggle with most is that I feel like my body has failed me, that it just isn’t doing what it’s supposed to do.

I’m a Professor at a university and finished my Ph. D. while working 2 jobs. There has never been anything I’ve wanted that, with hard work, I couldn’t achieve. This is one of those things that no matter “how hard” I work I can’t change.

Does anyone else notice babies and mommas EVERYWHERE?

Everything you just said I have thought myself. It is so frustrating to have something you want so badly to be so far beyond your control, when you can look at other parts of your life and say that, "if I just do X, then I can get Y." And yes, babies, moms, and pregnant ladies everywhere, always.

I notice babies and mommies everywhere. It seems like everyday someone is announcing their pregnancy. Infertility is so frustrating and emotionally draining.
Have you thought about seeing a fertility specialist? There are so many tests and other factors that they can check.

My doctor here in NC is one of the best in the state. Based on all my blood work, exams, and ultrasounds, he really thinks that the problem is that I’m just not ovulating. They seem optimistic, which is good I guess.

Ovulation issues can be a simple fix at times compared to other issues. That's good news that your doctor is optimistic. Prayers.