Infertility Support Group

In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

2,817 Members

29,973 Posts

0 Online

Luke101 11/12/2013

My wife and I had been trying to conceive for almost a year and a half by the time we started IVF. My wife suffers from depression and though she still has ups and downs, her episodes are much less frequent than before she started taking anti-depressants.

She is specifically taking Zoloft since it is supposed to be the safest for pregnancy. I was nervous that she would start to refuse to take it once we found out she was finally pregnant, but thankfully she hasn't.

I'm so excited that we're finally expecting (we're only ~6 weeks along so I'm trying not to get ahead of myself) but the hormones are really driving my wife crazy. I feel like she has all the emotional symptoms of pregnancy to the Nth degree. Combine that with anxiety and you have a pretty terrible combination.

I try to help as best I can. I do everything around the house and wait on her hand and foot. I think it helps a little that our infertility issues were because of me and not her, but my constantly having to remind her that and having her throw it in my face while having an episode certainly wasn't good for me. But the smallest thing can set her off and when it does, I usually just need to apologize (whether or not I'm wrong) and wait for it to pass.

Has anyone else had to deal with depression on top of infertility issues? Do you have any advice?

jhesterm 11/12/2013

I haven't had to deal with that becuse I've never been pregnant but if you and your wife are up to it I would see if there is a fertility/nutritional/acupuncture specialist in your area that has a lot of knowledge about nutrition because there have been several new studies showing links between diet and anxiety/depression. At the very least I would say she should try eating probiotic supliments because they won't harm the fetus and they have shown that an increase in probiotic levels in the gut has an inverse correlation to anxiety and depression levels. Because she is pregnant this is especially pronounced with the extra hormones. I would also make sure to talk to whomever you find about post-partum depression because your wife will probably be particularly prone to this and it can cause severe problems between spouses and between the mother and child. One of my best friend's mother suffered severe post-partum depression and basically went from being a fairly sane normal person before pregnancy to being a raving b* and terrible mother after, but since there was no treatment back in the day she had no way to reverse the hormonal shifts.

Good luck! I hope you can find help so that this doesn't turn into an extremely horrible experience for you both.

deleted_user 11/12/2013

I haven't had this exact issue because I haven't been pregnant but I've had really awful sad days as a result of our IF. I am going to counseling but I haven't taken medication. My husband has been really great with me, he lets me cry when I need to and listens to the awful things I saw. The best thing that he's said to me when I'm down is that if he had to choose between having me and not having kids or marrying someone else and having kids, he'd still pick me. Because our IF is unexplained, it's no one's fault but he knows that I blame myself a lot because it feels like MY body is the one not getting pregnant so it has to be my fault. Regardless, you're doing the right thing; don't be afraid to push back and tell her in a kind way that you need to talk things out.

I hope this was helpful in some way and that she has a healthy pregnancy!

deleted_user 11/13/2013

I take Zoloft and have been off of it for 3 weeks now because of fertility treatments then actually conceiving. The psychiatrist I see told me that I should try and stay off of Zoloft through the first trimester. That being said he also told me that studies have been done that state that stress to the mother will cause stress to the baby. So there needs to be a balance between taking care of yourself so that you in turn take care of the baby. I also have a very good friend that was on Zoloft through her entire pregnancy and she has a beautiful, smart, lovely, 7 year daughter.

Has your wife talked to her doctors about this situation? It's really important to take care of yourself first so that you can take care of others. It's why they tell you to put your oxygen mask on first before you help others.

deleted_user 11/14/2013

I forgot to mention in my last post that I have been using a light box for light therapy and I feel that it is really helping. Perhaps this would help your wife, definitely worth the $65 investment

Join the Conversation