Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
Sharing for anyone who may be feeling the same way--that their husband just isn't getting it. . .
Infertility & Marriage: What women wish men knew
One of the biggest complaints I hear from women attempting to conceive in partnership is that their husbands wont communicate with them. Having no idea what he is thinking, they often move to the logical (well at least it is to us women) conclusionthat he simply doesnt care. From there an entire torrid novel can be written in our heads about how they no longer love us, how they see us as broken, or how we are no longer attractive in our imperfect state.
When this happens the marriage moves to shaky ground and two people who love each other find the Grand Canyon of a divide between them.
Today, I offer a few tips for men on the fertility journey. For women readers, feel free to pass this along to your partners. Sometimes the words are easier to say when said by someone else.
http://infertilityawakening.com/2011/08/31/infertility-marriage-what-women-wish-men-knew/
Infertility & Marriage: What women wish men knew
One of the biggest complaints I hear from women attempting to conceive in partnership is that their husbands wont communicate with them. Having no idea what he is thinking, they often move to the logical (well at least it is to us women) conclusionthat he simply doesnt care. From there an entire torrid novel can be written in our heads about how they no longer love us, how they see us as broken, or how we are no longer attractive in our imperfect state.
When this happens the marriage moves to shaky ground and two people who love each other find the Grand Canyon of a divide between them.
Today, I offer a few tips for men on the fertility journey. For women readers, feel free to pass this along to your partners. Sometimes the words are easier to say when said by someone else.
http://infertilityawakening.com/2011/08/31/infertility-marriage-what-women-wish-men-knew/
deleted_user
This is very interesting because I feel completely opposite! My husband became more open and "lovey dovey" during our IVF process. He was so involved and interested in everything. When I wanted to do the shots myself, he made sure to stand by my side each night and make sure I didn't need help, and when I got frustrated he jumped in and helped. He was constantly talking about our journey and how optimistic he was that we would one day get our big fat positive! It was so sweet and our trials and tribulations of infertility have brought us soooo much closer! Knowing what I know now, I wouldn't change any path we have taken, even if I could.
deleted_user
We really, really struggled when we were just having sex and trying to get pregnant. Having no answers and being frustrated was hard. During IUI it got a little better, but still struggled to communicate and feel like this was a partnership. During IVF, my DH turned into this amazingly supportive loving person. He is a math guy and I think with IVF being so technical he could understand the process and then could step up into the emotional support I needed.
deleted_user
I am thankful for your post. My DH and I have hit a brick wall of communication since my miscarriage in June. I'm going to read these to him. So much rings true. Thank you!
deleted_user
My husband wasn't communicating with me very well. I was so frustrated. It is really hard, because I like to talk through things and he likes to hide in his "man cave" and work them out himself. I finally got to talk to him about everything he was feeling. I begged him to tell me everything, even the things he thought might upset me. Then we made a deal and it was his idea. We sit down together every night or at least every other night and tell each other how we are feeling that day. We ask each other how we are feeling that day to make sure we are both okay. It is a time we take to talk (and cry if needed) about our infertility problems and nothing else. I hope you all can work something out wiht your husbands that will help both of you.
deleted_user
Just emailed this to my dh. Hoping it will spark some conversation. Very well written.
shannon1234
Wonderful to hear some success stories! I think that it is a different path for each of us, and for our marriages. I do however believe that deep down husbands want to do the right thing, they just really don't know how and feel helpless to make it all better.
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