Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
So, started AF yesterday. It's always so devastating. I was feeling kind of hopeful. I had an HSG in February and my Dr said that sometimes just having that done, women can end up getting pregnant in the next few cycles. Well, this was the 3rd cycle since and no dice. So I'm thinking we're past that 'next few cycles' phase.
We're in that category of no medical reason - every test comes back as things are normal and in working order. Which is totally a double edged sword, you know? Good that there is nothing wrong...but then why is it not happening?
After the HSG came back normal, hubby and I decided to just give it some time. He had a vasectomy when he was with his ex-wife and we had it reversed (completely successful, by the way, my Dr was surprised by his high numbers considering the reversal). It's been a year and half since that and nothing. The Dr who did the reversal said it can take a year or so after a reversal, even if everything appears normal. Which is why we decided to just give it a little more time, considering we had checked everything else and it was all good.
I felt good about that decision, but now, I just feel this nagging need to be doing something. But at the same time, I'm really struggling emotionally and mentally with all of this. I'm scared to take the next step. My Dr said it was time to refer me to an infertility specialist and to let her know when I was ready. Part of me wants to call her and get the referral. Just to be doing something. But the rest of me wants to just...curl up and hide and ignore the whole thing for a while. I think I mostly just have trouble facing an endless span of hoping and wondering and never knowing why. I'd almost rather just know that it wasn't ever going to happen so I could deal with that and pick myself back up. This endless not knowing is hell.
We're in that category of no medical reason - every test comes back as things are normal and in working order. Which is totally a double edged sword, you know? Good that there is nothing wrong...but then why is it not happening?
After the HSG came back normal, hubby and I decided to just give it some time. He had a vasectomy when he was with his ex-wife and we had it reversed (completely successful, by the way, my Dr was surprised by his high numbers considering the reversal). It's been a year and half since that and nothing. The Dr who did the reversal said it can take a year or so after a reversal, even if everything appears normal. Which is why we decided to just give it a little more time, considering we had checked everything else and it was all good.
I felt good about that decision, but now, I just feel this nagging need to be doing something. But at the same time, I'm really struggling emotionally and mentally with all of this. I'm scared to take the next step. My Dr said it was time to refer me to an infertility specialist and to let her know when I was ready. Part of me wants to call her and get the referral. Just to be doing something. But the rest of me wants to just...curl up and hide and ignore the whole thing for a while. I think I mostly just have trouble facing an endless span of hoping and wondering and never knowing why. I'd almost rather just know that it wasn't ever going to happen so I could deal with that and pick myself back up. This endless not knowing is hell.
I can understand too your feeling of relief that they've found nothing wrong yet also wondering then why it's not happening.
I had a m/c in Dec. and a m/c in April. And after the second one, the RE said he's not pushing it but if we're interested in doing chromosome testing and ruling out blood clot or autoimmune issues for me, we could. And we could also do a saline ultrasound to rule out any structural problems inside the uterus.
We went ahead with the blood tests and they came back fine. But I am teetering on this really aggravating phase of indecision about the saline u/s. It doesn't sound pleasant. And my husband is urging me to just take a break from all of this for a month and not do the u/s that I have scheduled for Tuesday. To give the topic a rest and take care of myself and not immerse myself with testing.
It is hard because the brain thinks but WHAT IF they find something and it can be fixed? OR What if they find everything is fine and that gives me a boost of confidence?
I like the idea of checking things off the list. Ruling things out. But I also know that feeling that I'm left with afterwards of...ok then now what?
So I can relate to the emotional and mental struggle and half of you wanting to seek out a specialist and half of you just wanting to immerse yourself in TLC and take a break.
I noticed on your profile that you had a rough time with Clomid. Likewise, I had a rough time with progesterone. I took it last month and not only did it not help with pregnancy but it gave me severe mood swings which just compounded everything.
Just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and that I can understand a lot of aspects of how you're feeling.
I wish you all the luck and success!
Until February I too had unexplained IF, and feel your frustration of the double edge sword. Luckily my new RE is great and figured out what was wrong with me. Bad thing is it took lots of time and wasted money.
I wish you tons of luck!
If I were you- I'd go to the specialist. It's a big step, I know, but they are more specialized to deal with our circumstances. The information they may uncover could really help your situation- more information and guided intervention is progress towards your goal. Action is what makes our present change- as I see it- I'd rather be swimming than treading water. With that being said- you've got to be ready to take it all in and on. Work through these crazy emotions and this big steps will seem much more doable.
Best of luck to you!!!
@somuchhoping- the saline ultrasound is SO easy- sounds far worse than it is- I PROMISE. Doesn't hurt a bit- quick and easy test. Piece of cake, really it is...
That sometimes action (moving to the next step) can be good even though it's scary. Just think of it as informational. You don't have to go through with any treatment. But just to hear out what the dr. has to say.
When we were at an emotional exhaustion point last spring, we found that going to the RE for the first time took a load of emotional burden on us. Because he left us feeling that things were much more hopeful than we had thought they were. Much more hopeful than my former ob/gyn had lead us to believe.
@Courage2010--I can't thank you enough for assuring me about the saline u/s. It's tomorrow. So that helps my nerves a lot. Thank you.
However, I noticed that the more tests I went through I began to feel a bit more empowered. Never got any answers really but at least I knew that almost everything is in good working condition, even if its not working correctly! haha Just means my journey is going to be a bit longer and contains more unknowns.
@SoMuchHoping - Courage2010 is right the S/U is not as bad as it sounds. It was easier than the HSG test for me.
On paper every single test they can run on me is text book perfect. DH and I are considered highly fertile. That being said, it toke 3 years for me to go to an RE to find out the problem and it was only detected with an hysteroscopy.
Information makes it possible to decide on a plan. You can either pursue treatment or not. That's up to you.
Testing is usualy easy, treatment is what can get complicated.
Good luck,
Calling the RE was a scary step in the process, so I understand totally where you're coming from. Our first RE was horrible and we eventually changed to another RE. I feel better about the second one. Depending on your age, I'd recommend calling sooner rather than later just to get the process started. Tell your doctor that you're feeling unsure about things and ask for their insight. Personally I'm old enough that I feel like I'm at the point I've got no more time to lose, so I'm bulling ahead to each next step even though I'm scared to death!
Best of luck to you!!