this is one of the reasons i hate IF my husband and I been married for 8 years and IF has caused alot of grieve for us at first I was always ticked off at him becuase he seemed to be closed off and had the attitude that when it happens it will happpen and i was heartbroken all the time and he didnt under stand why I was upser when a friend or family got PG As the other ladies have said Men are wired different their instinct is if they see a problem fix it but with IF the fix isnt easy and you can control whether or not it will work and they cant deal with that well and tend to blame themselves and its puts them on the defensive and with your feeling and diappointment you need his companionship when all he wants to is to alone and deal with his feelings (men arent too good telling thier feeling to ppl)is not a good combination I saw on your post your marriage is fairly new is I can imagine how hard it is on a new marriage when there are normal issues and to add IF on you are doing better than I would and its normal to get angry with your husband believe there are times I cuss mine out and told if i knew if I was going to have this much trouble with having children I would never married him but I didnt mean a word of it but it hurt him after we talked about it that he confessed that he was as frustrated as i am and he was starting to understand the diappointment I was feeling but my advice to you is that you need to have a serious talk with your husband and both of you need to lay out all your feelings on the table and decide together what can be done
to make things better between the two and come to a compromise thats best for you as a couple and counseling might be a good idea a third party can help greatly to truly evaluate you feelings Well b4 this gets too I hope things will be better between you and if you need to talk Im here

I know just how you feel! Two years ago, after 2 years of trying to get pregnany I started going to a fertility clinic just to get some initial testing. My husband was very angry and told me to just relax and I would get pregnant. He felt like I was causing us to not be able to get pregnant because I was "too stressed". Actually everyone had that opinion especially my MIL. With the first test result I there were problems and it seemed like every couple of days they were calling me with a new problem that could be affecting why we were not getting prenant. Eventually they informed us that my husband would have to go in and get a sperm analysis. I thought we would get divorced over that one, I actually had to threaten to leave him before he would get tested. In the end I thing he was just scared and when the test results came back it was low morphology, low count and low motility. We BOTH had problems and I think he knew then that I had been right all along and did feel bad about putting up such a fight. 1 IUI and 3 IVF cycles later we are both experts on fertility issues and how it affects your marriage. There were definately low points and I can remember thinking is this really who I want to have children with, but this process is so stressful that I think everyone goes through it. Unfortunately it takes men a lot longer to get on board, they have no idea what this process entails. We now have 7 month old twin babies and my husband is very greatful that I was so persistent. I hear him talking to his friends who are having trouble getting pregnant and he is the one lobbying for testing! Just remember that he is probably scared and is trying not to deal with it.

thank you all so much- forwarde him alot fo the responses. He is not speakking to me except to tell me that he feels like he has a noose around his head, handcuffs on and he hates his life. Nice. Just last week I was the most wonderful woman on erth- today Im crazy and cant blame it on the IVF, Im lazy, I hormonal- he hates his life and he wants to move back to trinidad where he can be a big fish in a little pond. He has made me feel like such garbage today- I mean my BFN was two week sago-Im just really wondering if he is the right guy for me. I will go to counseling but he says he just wants t move out- after he takes off for Australia to surf with his single friend-we would then need to postpone ivf so he can take the trip. S the question is- is THIS really who want to parent with?

Sometimes men just don't know what to say or do. They feel helpless when they can't fix everything and I'm sure that is incredibly frustrating for him. Have you tried talking to him about your feelings? Maybe, instead of a divorce, you could take a little vaccation without him. Maybe that would give you both the perspective and the time to thoroughly sort out everything. Good luck!