Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
My husband and I have had our ups and downs in the 10 years we've been together, but one thing we have agreed on was that we would have more than one child.
Our son was conceived naturally and accidentally, and was born in March 2003.
In March 2004, I threw out the birth control and we decided we were ready to try again. After over a year of late periods and no baby, I went to the doctor. I was diagnosed with PCOS and endo. My husband and I didn't own a home to borrow money against, so we decided to just leave it up to nature while I worked hard to lose a little weight (the doctor said it would help, even though I was only 20 pounds overweight).
That was more than 7 years ago. He doesn't want to spend a ton of money on fertility treatments that might not work, and the doctors I have seen won't even give me clomid without him giving a sperm sample. He won't do it. He says it's embarrassing and too personal, and he refuses to have any part of it.
So now I don't know what to do. He says we won't do fertility treatments. Ever. He thinks it's a waste of money.
But I feel an emptiness in my life, and I have always wanted more children. I know some of you will probably say that I should just be happy with the one that I have.
I AM happy with my son, but there's an emptiness inside of me. I cry every time a friend announces her pregnancy.
I have been pregnant several times over the past 7 years, but I never made it past 8 weeks. I take a test, get 2 lines, and by the time I make it to the doctor, I'm having a miscarriage.
So at what point do you give up? And what do you do when your spouse isn't interested in having a baby when it's the only thing you want in your life? Do you divorce or compromise? I can't go through fertility treatments alone, so what do I do?
Our son was conceived naturally and accidentally, and was born in March 2003.
In March 2004, I threw out the birth control and we decided we were ready to try again. After over a year of late periods and no baby, I went to the doctor. I was diagnosed with PCOS and endo. My husband and I didn't own a home to borrow money against, so we decided to just leave it up to nature while I worked hard to lose a little weight (the doctor said it would help, even though I was only 20 pounds overweight).
That was more than 7 years ago. He doesn't want to spend a ton of money on fertility treatments that might not work, and the doctors I have seen won't even give me clomid without him giving a sperm sample. He won't do it. He says it's embarrassing and too personal, and he refuses to have any part of it.
So now I don't know what to do. He says we won't do fertility treatments. Ever. He thinks it's a waste of money.
But I feel an emptiness in my life, and I have always wanted more children. I know some of you will probably say that I should just be happy with the one that I have.
I AM happy with my son, but there's an emptiness inside of me. I cry every time a friend announces her pregnancy.
I have been pregnant several times over the past 7 years, but I never made it past 8 weeks. I take a test, get 2 lines, and by the time I make it to the doctor, I'm having a miscarriage.
So at what point do you give up? And what do you do when your spouse isn't interested in having a baby when it's the only thing you want in your life? Do you divorce or compromise? I can't go through fertility treatments alone, so what do I do?
I sincerely felt sorrow when I read your post and a little bit of anger about your husbands attitude. I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. My husband is very supportive, but does let his fear slip about the financial aspect from time-to-time and that is difficul enough to deal with. I can only imagine how you must be feeling. I just have to say...men are such big babies and are sometimes so selfish! With that said though, my husband and I are seeing a counselor separately, but also together to aide us in the fertility process and all the emotions that come along. Would your husband consider going to counseling or maybe going and meeting with your doctor? Maybe if he had the process explained to him from a professional stand point that might make him feel more at ease.
I cannot tell you what to do, because I don't think most know unless they're in the situation, but I would hope he would be able to compromise with you. Maybe if you explained to him that his actions are causing a breakdown in the relationship he would take it more seriously.
I don't know if that helped, but I wish you all the best! Keep your head up!
The most I've had was some blood work done. My doctor told me I have PCOS. My cycles have been regular for a while now without changing anything in my life- they're always 36 days. But I was only having 3 or 4 periods a year until just over a year ago.
He did say he has no problem with adoption, and I would be more than happy to go that route too. But with that comes it's own stress, ya know?
I still want to try to have another baby, but he's still hung-up on the money issue. We've never been "well off", but we make ends meet and always find a way to work it out with money. He's got a good size settlement coming, and wants to buy a house cash with the money. Even after buying our house, we would have plenty left over for fertility treatments. He insists it's a waste since there's just no guarantee and says even if it works, we'll have paid tens of thousands of dollars for something we should have been able to do for free.
My husband is in counseling on his own and has me come to his sessions from time to time. Other than that, he won't speak to a marriage counselor.