Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
Hi all,
After struggling with IF for 3 years I finally got pregnant last month on my IVF cycle. While we were telling our family and friends our good news, my DH's cousin who is 40 announced that her and her partner are also starting to try for their first.
while I was over the moon for them both, I have been told by every doctor, book and website on the net, while researching for some answers to my 'unexplained' IF, that chances of getting pregnant at 40 naturally are really very limited, so without thinking I mediately asked if they would go through IVF.
DH's cousin mediately went quiet and then said NO... and then 'you didn't go through that did you?'. I told her that we had and it had been the best decision of our lives and that if she ever needed any info she could come to me as I have tons.
yesterday when I was talking to my Mother in law, she was telling me that all the family is so exited for DH's cousin, and while I share everyone's excitement, I can't help but feel a little apprehensive for her.
this girl can be very hard on her self and I feel her family (and her) are not being realistic about her chances which can make an IF journey so much harder....
Maybe I am just seeing all the negatives, maybe my own IF journey makes me see IF in everyone's future... but I just wish I could have a decent discussion with this girl and make sure she has researched all the facts and is aware of the chances she really has...
what do you girls think, should I keep my nose out of it as I have for the past 2 moths or should I try and say something?, Am I jumping the gun and trying to label everyone with my own label???
any thoughts would be really helpful
After struggling with IF for 3 years I finally got pregnant last month on my IVF cycle. While we were telling our family and friends our good news, my DH's cousin who is 40 announced that her and her partner are also starting to try for their first.
while I was over the moon for them both, I have been told by every doctor, book and website on the net, while researching for some answers to my 'unexplained' IF, that chances of getting pregnant at 40 naturally are really very limited, so without thinking I mediately asked if they would go through IVF.
DH's cousin mediately went quiet and then said NO... and then 'you didn't go through that did you?'. I told her that we had and it had been the best decision of our lives and that if she ever needed any info she could come to me as I have tons.
yesterday when I was talking to my Mother in law, she was telling me that all the family is so exited for DH's cousin, and while I share everyone's excitement, I can't help but feel a little apprehensive for her.
this girl can be very hard on her self and I feel her family (and her) are not being realistic about her chances which can make an IF journey so much harder....
Maybe I am just seeing all the negatives, maybe my own IF journey makes me see IF in everyone's future... but I just wish I could have a decent discussion with this girl and make sure she has researched all the facts and is aware of the chances she really has...
what do you girls think, should I keep my nose out of it as I have for the past 2 moths or should I try and say something?, Am I jumping the gun and trying to label everyone with my own label???
any thoughts would be really helpful
...yet on the other hand, you risk offending someone and dashing their hopes...
Honestly, I think you've said all you can. You mentioned your struggles, and that you had success with IVF. I think that's all you can do.
Remember, many people have to sometimes first cross things off their list before they can move forward. I know you want to save her from possible pain, but you also don't know that she will have difficulties getting pregnant. Many 40 year olds can and do get pregnant naturally.
If you really still felt compelled, I guess you could drop her a note reiterating that if she has trouble, you are there for her and can share your story, etc.
Good Luck with whatever decision you make.
baby dust to all!!!
I would be careful about attaching your IF to everyone else, no matter their age. Seeing your age, I would not have imagined, had you not shared it, that you would have an IF problem.
Also, I would also be careful to categorize people who are 40 and their likely inability to conceive a child on their own. Whatever you read are statistics. I have known PLENTY of people who have gotten pregnant at 40 and as old as 43. While statistically they tell you your age is working against you, everyone is different. Plus I am sure that you don't want to unnecessarily worry someone who may not have an issue.
I would say nothing else. She now knows your situation and you stated that you would be more than willing to help.
I wish them well and hope that they get pregnant on their own and do not have to experience IF treatments.
Best wishes to you!
Blessings,
Kristin
Whenever I hear people say they're going to start trying or aiming to have a baby during a certain time of the year, I want to say, "its not as easy as you think it is." Instead I've learned to bite my tounge. (Because it is easy for some people to get pregnant.)
If I was you I wouldn't offer any more advice until she comes to you for help, if she ever does. People going through the IF process all cope in different ways and take different amounts of time before they want to start talking about it. Just my opinion. Hope it helps.