My smart ass response would be:

Do I ask you if you have your period yet?

My kinder, gentler, less hormonal side would say:

We are still trying and its a sensitive subject but I will let you know when it happens, until then can we discuss how hot (fill in name here) is?

Next time they ask, tell them not yet, and they will be one of the first to know when you are.

(hopefully they will quit asking after that)

I agree with Suzyhopes, if they're really annoying, I'd give them a smart ass response. Since she wants to know so bad, I'd be sure to tell her last when you do tell. Humor is also a great way to break up the conversation too since if you put it back on them elluding to you "looking fat" then it'll make them shut up and think twice. ;)

My husbands friends wife says that to me. I just simply tell her not yet. It hurts me but I don't let it show to much. She just doesn't realize what we are going through so I know she doesn't mean it that way.

A simple: "Not yet, but we are working on it" seems to work just fine. I don't see any reason to get hostile over it although it is a strange question - if you were and you wanted the person to know then you would tell them - you would think that most folks would have the common sense to realize this. But again, I don't see any reason to get defensive about it.

I'd tell your friends to get a life or that it's none of their business. I would love nothing more than to have a baby, but personally I get sick of that question, like it's a handicap or something. This is why avoid a lot of my girlfriends anymore.

My standard is just "No, but we are sure when He is ready for us to be, God will see to it!"

I like to answer with the following:

1. No, I'm always a bitch. It's not hormones. Oh, that's not what you meant? My mistake.

or

2. No, what should we discuss first, my husband's sperm or my egg quality. (the topic is usually dropped in an awkward half second)

also, it's hard not to get defensive about it. in the past when I have told people "we're trying", they respond with "what do you mean? we got pregnant our first try"
So I am nice to friends and family about it to a point, but when people push me I'll push back.

I usually just say "have no fear, I will let you know when I am pregnant" or "Everyone will know when I am pregnant, so have no fear that you will miss out on it". Sometimes they ask one more time because they forgot but they do stop asking.

I get asked this question daily by friends, family and my patients. I now just tell eveyone no, but someday we will be. It annoys me more when strangers follow-up the do you have kids question with the are you trying question. I think that is so rude!!

I always respond with, when God decides to perform a miracle. Don't get me started on friends/family that have no problem conceiving. I always say, they could be on birth control pills, be using condoms, be using spermicides, have their tubes tied, and they still would have a greater chance of getting pregnant naturally than I would. Just a little humor to make a frustrating situation feel just a little bit better.

Thank-you all for your helpful advice. It is nice to know that others feel the same way.

My answer is always...nope...and then leaving them sitting in the awkwardness of their stupid question.

Wow, you guys have some great responses! wish I had you all around for the two and half years I was getting pummled with that question. I love this community.