You have nothing to feel guilty for, you did not choose this. If the issue was your husbands you would not love him less, have faith in him to love you. That having been said I know that it is hard not to feel guilty during i/f. I always felt like a failure as a woman, that I couldnt do the most basic thing that my body was made for. The book "Conquoring Infertility" by Alice Domar and seeing a counselor who specializes in i/f helped me alot. Good luck and much sticky baby dust to all.

you are not alone in your feelin! i have felt that way too. but prayers has helped me alot.

How you are feeling is completely normal. I have experienced terrible feelings of guilt and self blame throughout this journey and my counselor said that these are the most common feelings that women feel. I found the book 'Unsung lullabies' very helpful.

Hope you feel better soon and that your dreams come true.

In my situation, my DH has no sperm. I know he feels exactly like you do...he feels it's his fault, that he is somehow less of a man...that he has somehow failed. He is a highly motivated person who works so hard to be as close to perfect in every way...IF is a huge issue for him...I think it makes him feel ashamed of himself in some way.

But, here is my side...my feelings on this:

I love him with all my heart. His heart, his faith, his outlook, his personalily...those the the reasons I married him. Even after we've gone through heartbreaking IF for years and years, I would still marry him over and over again. I do not blame him at all. I honestly and sincerely see this as "we" struggle with IF...not "he". If people ask about why we don't have kids together, I say it's because "we" are infertile, as a couple. My DH is an amazing person, and it breaks my heart to hear him say anything negative about himself in this way. He is no less of a man in my eyes and heart.

...and you are no less of a woman.

I understand how you are feeling... but please remember if the shoe was on the other foot, would you feel that way about him? If the answer is no, then see how blessed you are to have one another.

I can say this because the shoe has been on both of our foots (foots LOL). The first time around DH had sperm issues and then second time around I had elevated FSH... so we both know how that feels. Life can change on a dime... the point is that you love one another... that's what those marriage vows are all about.

I will think of you in a very special way today and pray that the sun shines even brighter for you tomorrow!

Thoughtfully,
Kristin
http://www.agiftofmiles.com