Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
Good day everyone, and thanks for reading,
Please offer your advice:
Everyone around me seems like they are pregnant. And its more tormenting because its all my childhood and close friends. I am now the last one. No baby. Yet, I have been married the longest.
In fact, my best friend is pregnant with her first child, which officially made me the lone wolf. I am very happy for her. Just so darn unhappy for myself and feeling like this baby for me is well over due. Its frustrating to have been trying for years and others pop up pregnant overnight. Its frustrating having to endure appointments and paying a high price for infertility when for everyone else the cost of motherhood is free.
Lastly, my BFF is having her baby-shower in a few weeks for her first baby. I really do not want to go. Especially traveling out of state. In addition to the fact, I feel like every dime I can save needs to go towards my treatments. I am so unhealthy mentally right now and way too fragile to endure a jolly ole' baby shower full of mothers and center of attention on one excited mother to be. Yet, I do not want to seem jealous or unsupportive. But its pure suffering in hell to be at anyone's baby shower right now. I feel somewhat obligated, and she has made it clear, she expects me there (although knowing my struggle). I do a great job of pretending it doesn't bother me, so I can't blame her for rubbing pregnancy up under my nose even on Facebook. Besides, its not fair for me to expect others to tip-toe around my emotions and not expressing their joy, right?
I don't know what to do. Should I suck it up and just go? Or make up some lame excuse and not feel bad about being selfish for once in my life?
Please offer your advice:
Everyone around me seems like they are pregnant. And its more tormenting because its all my childhood and close friends. I am now the last one. No baby. Yet, I have been married the longest.
In fact, my best friend is pregnant with her first child, which officially made me the lone wolf. I am very happy for her. Just so darn unhappy for myself and feeling like this baby for me is well over due. Its frustrating to have been trying for years and others pop up pregnant overnight. Its frustrating having to endure appointments and paying a high price for infertility when for everyone else the cost of motherhood is free.
Lastly, my BFF is having her baby-shower in a few weeks for her first baby. I really do not want to go. Especially traveling out of state. In addition to the fact, I feel like every dime I can save needs to go towards my treatments. I am so unhealthy mentally right now and way too fragile to endure a jolly ole' baby shower full of mothers and center of attention on one excited mother to be. Yet, I do not want to seem jealous or unsupportive. But its pure suffering in hell to be at anyone's baby shower right now. I feel somewhat obligated, and she has made it clear, she expects me there (although knowing my struggle). I do a great job of pretending it doesn't bother me, so I can't blame her for rubbing pregnancy up under my nose even on Facebook. Besides, its not fair for me to expect others to tip-toe around my emotions and not expressing their joy, right?
I don't know what to do. Should I suck it up and just go? Or make up some lame excuse and not feel bad about being selfish for once in my life?
With regards to your BFF and the baby shower - that is such a tough call. I think, though, if you and her are truly BFFs, and have been for a long time, you should talk to her about how you've been feeling more broadly - not just about the baby shower. If you share with her your feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and how isolated and horribly you've been feeling, she'll have a better understanding of the intensity of your sorrow over not being able to get pregnant yet. If you make sure you tell her that it has nothing to do with how absolutely over the moon you are for her, but that it has more to do with how the jolly baby shower scene will rip your heart out, I'm sure she'll understand. Maybe you can plan a private special lunch/dinner with her, just the two of you, where you can shower her with your happy sentiments you feel for her, but spare yourself the baby overload that the full meal deal shower is likely to be.
Hang in there. You're not alone even if it feels like it. I can't believe I'm typing these words to another woman, because I've been feeling the exact same way - like the last childless person in the world. It's been horrible, and it continues to be horrible, but I promise you that opening up about your feelings in a genuine way will go a long way to help your friends get where you're coming from.
Don't feel bad for what you feel, it's normal. If you don't won't to go, just don't go. You have good excuse, (traveling out of state, saving money for your treatment). But maybe you'll be sorry later, after all, she is your best friend. I got pregnant five years after and it really doesn't matter any more. But I know the pain and I hope and pray that you get pregnant soon. Hugs!
Sprinkly, love and baby dust to all.