Infertility Support Group

In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.

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keepingthehope 09/01/2011

So I have just had my consultation for my 2nd IVF (1st IVF in July resulted in BFN)
Now I am getting to the point where IVF and family thoughts keep popping up all the time. And I start to feel a pressure in my chest and a little choked up like I am going to cry whenever something family related comes up - Not sure if this is normal or not.

When I try to tell my husband about my anxiety he basically says that I need to stop stressing about it.

Now it may just be because I am a planner, but I tend to think about things a lot (this includes work plan, money and finances, and of course family planning). I do not believe that thinking about something means that I am stressing about it. In fact the opposite feels true. I think about all of the possibilities, how I would react to each one, then I know that I can handle whatever happens.

Truly I was excited to be able to try a second time (It is happening so soon because I lose my good insurance at the end of this year). I am not sure where this anxiety is coming from, but I feel as if my husband gets too much pressure on him for me to use him as an outlet for my feelings.

Just needed to vent a little to feel better.. Sorry if I babbled or it doesn't make much sense.

MistyRose84 09/01/2011

I think it is totally normal, or at least I hope it is because I feel the same exact way! :) I started having the same feelings when we found out IVF was our only option, and they have just gotten worse since our first IVF was cancelled (I wasn't responding to the stims). I have the same feeling of pressure in my chest and wanting to break down in tears. My DH seems to understand, but I know he gets annoyed that I need to talk about it all the time. I'm a planner too and need to constantly talk about what we'll do next. I'm so sorry to hear about your failed IVF, I really hope your second one brings you your BFP!

deleted_user 09/03/2011

You titled it emotional mess and I thought you were talking about me :) I'm just like you! plan, plan and then plan some more. Drives my husband up a freakin' wall.

SharynMarie 09/03/2011

I'm with you. Our first IVF failed August 8th, and I've been very emotional ever since. Good luck to you and I hope your next IVF is successful. We're here for you-- all crazy together. :-)

deleted_user 09/03/2011

Yes feel an emotional wrenck all the time too. One of the great joys of if.Good luck your not alone.

deleted_user 09/03/2011

You are not alone guys! My last FSH test came up at 33.4, the doc told us the only way we could get pregnant is by using an egg donor. I am devastated. I still grieving over it... So there are some days I wake up feeling a little bit more positive , but sometimes I just feel like crying .. even when I am driving... I am trying to move on and have already started looking for egg bank online...

texas279 09/03/2011

Its normal or we are all crazy... After our few attempts I couldn't control my anxiety and I was a roller coaster ride for everyone. Finally broke down one night and me and my DH just cried it out together on the floor. After that night we picked each other up and its gone a little smoother but I've also made choices to remove myself out of certain situations that might get me upset... and we have been on a break of all the meds and trying after the last IUI failed I just wanted to enjoy the summer... Praying your 2nd one brings you that BFP!

deleted_user 09/03/2011

Does someone feel "guilty" for not been able to get pregnant?. My hubby is an only child, and it drives me crazy to know that because of me his mom will not have a grandchild...:( it's really frustrating

AlicatG 09/04/2011

Isnt it all so hard to think about?!! My therapist swears that its a hormonal swing back too. You arent weird and certainly not alone. I hope #2 gives you a BFP!

alanabanana 09/04/2011

I feel exactly the same. It is so hard to take my mind off of it. I am constantly stressing or on the verge of tears. I am reading a book called "unsung lullabies" right now. It is written by three psychologists who have been through IF. It is helping me feel more normal in my craziness.
Like you I am a planner, so I am best with my head in a book trying to figure out the next step, or anything that can help us.
I just found a shrink, so hopefully that will help. I am wishin you peaceful thoughts.

AlicatG 09/04/2011

I really enjoyed that book (Unsung Lullabies). Helped me to validate the feelings I was having. You dont have to have a miscarriage to feel loss.

deleted_user 09/05/2011

Your are not crazy. I fill the same way and I been TTC for the last 3 years. 6 IUI, 3 IVF, 3 FET and nothing. I am on IVF number 4 right now. It fills like I am going crazy sometimes. I can be sitting in front of my computer in the office and hear word 'baby' or a 'family' and I would start crying. Even my mother can't hear about it anymore. I am also like to plan things ahead. So I can face the difficult part it not nothing that drives me crazy. Good Luck. Big Hug and Lots of Baby Dust.

deleted_user 09/05/2011

Boy do I know how you feel. I am a planner in all aspects of my life. My job is as an event planner and I must admit I am a bit of a control freak by nature. IF blows all of that out of the water, just when I think we are on track with a plan, the unexpected happens. It is so hard to not be able to control any part of this and it does create a lot of anxiety and emotional stress. Hope knowing you are not alone makes it a little better.

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