Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
Don't tell me that it'll happen if I just relax.
Don't tell me the story of your neighbor's cousin's best friend's coworker who was infertile for a million years and suddenly got pregnant naturally as soon as she had given up all hope.
Don't tell me "well, at least you have your nieces and nephews!" as if that's the same thing as having my own children.
Don't flick your eyes down to my belly every two seconds while we're having a conversation, trying to gauge whether or not it's getting bigger.
Don't tell me what you would do if you were in my shoes. You have no fucking idea what my shoes feel like, and I wouldn't wish them on anyone.
Don't nod your head when I tell you that I have endometriosis and say, "yeah, I get bad cramps too". I don't have bad cramps. I have severe pelvic inflammation and internal bleeding. It's not the same thing; it's not even CLOSE to the same thing.
Don't offer to be my egg donor. First of all, you think you mean it but you actually don't. Second of all, don't be so vain as to assume I even want your nasty eggs. And third of all, don't assume that I need a donor egg.
Don't offer to be my surrogate either. Who says I need a surrogate? Since when are you a doctor? And who says I want my baby inside of your judgmental body?
Don't look at me with sad puppy dog eyes every time you see me holding someone else's baby.
Just don't.
Don't tell me the story of your neighbor's cousin's best friend's coworker who was infertile for a million years and suddenly got pregnant naturally as soon as she had given up all hope.
Don't tell me "well, at least you have your nieces and nephews!" as if that's the same thing as having my own children.
Don't flick your eyes down to my belly every two seconds while we're having a conversation, trying to gauge whether or not it's getting bigger.
Don't tell me what you would do if you were in my shoes. You have no fucking idea what my shoes feel like, and I wouldn't wish them on anyone.
Don't nod your head when I tell you that I have endometriosis and say, "yeah, I get bad cramps too". I don't have bad cramps. I have severe pelvic inflammation and internal bleeding. It's not the same thing; it's not even CLOSE to the same thing.
Don't offer to be my egg donor. First of all, you think you mean it but you actually don't. Second of all, don't be so vain as to assume I even want your nasty eggs. And third of all, don't assume that I need a donor egg.
Don't offer to be my surrogate either. Who says I need a surrogate? Since when are you a doctor? And who says I want my baby inside of your judgmental body?
Don't look at me with sad puppy dog eyes every time you see me holding someone else's baby.
Just don't.
don't tell me about the abortion you had cause you wasn't ready for a second baby (true story)
don't tell me to just foster or adopt as if that's like buying a pair of shoes.. or a car even...
don't ask me if I'm preggo cause I look like I'm gaining weight. NO I'm not I have fibroids and they grow.
Don't tell me it's just stress. My whole life is f*ing stress, that's probably never going to change and IF certainly isn't helping.
Thanks ladies, I hope and pray to whatever may be listening for all of us.
If you don't mind, I would like to add a few...
Hey, MIL, DON'T compare my heartache and desire for a child to your desire for a new, reliable car. Really?!
Hey, Grandma, DON'T tell me that my chemical pregnancy was nothing compared to the loss of your infant son so many years ago. I didn't realize we were competing, but - hey, you win.
Hey, former BFF, DON'T force you religious beliefs on me by telling me, "Whatever you do, don't do insemination or IVF" then follow-up by sending me a DVD on Napro-technology (the "Vatican approved approach to infertility") because you think it "approaches the morality of infertility" - especially as you go home to your 3 children (under the age of 3, I might add).
Hey, friend, please DON'T ignore the message I sent you on FB explaining our infertility struggle by not sending a simple response. You asked how we were & I made sure to keep it brief. I'm sorry I reached out to you...sorry if it made you uncomfortable. But, hey, at least you had time to post pictures of your kids minutes after viewing my message. I'll sleep so much better tonight knowing how your 3 kids looked on their first day of school.
Ugh. Infertility sucks.
Don't pretend I wasn't pregnant before you, either. My baby died and now I have to watch you grow more pregnant while the family celebrates.... Allthewhile forgetting my baby and my pregnancy like it was nothing.
As sad as this post is because it's a reality for all of us on some level, i'm blessed in knowing that there are so many of us out there that have similar situations and that we can continue to support each other! BTW, I would love to post these "Don't" on the door to my office, maybe then people would stop opening their mouths!