Once again my 2ww ended 2 days early with AF. I feel lower than I've ever felt in my life. I don't know how many more 2WWs I an handle. I hate having hopes and dreams every day for 2 weeks just to have it end in disappoinment and tears. I'm starting to feel like God doesn't want me to have children. I'm questioning my faith for the first time in my life which just adds to my devastation. I ache for a child of my own and I feel like it will never happen for us.

I went to a baby shower last night where there were 4 pregnant women. I looked at them and listened to their stories of pregnancy thinking the whole time that it was very possible I was pregnant too. Then this afternoon all those hopes and dreams went down the drain.

DH wants to keep trying. In my head I feel the same way, I want to move on to stonger medication and try again right away. But I don't know if my heart can handle it.

I'm tired of the tears, I'm tired of the disappointment, I'm tired of spending money and getting nowhere.