I'm sorry you got such difficult news. If you use donor sperm, would you do IUI? From a financial aspect, donor sperm seems like a good option as long as you and DH are both comfortable with it. Whatever you decide, we are here to support you :)

Sorry to hear about the news dear :-( I tryed talking to the husband about a sperm Donner in case ivf doesn't work and he just is not for it :-( nor adoption this sucks he feels like it won't be his own and I try to tell him it will be his we are raising it as ours :-(

I guess it all depends on what your husband is comfortable with. Mine quoted the bible saying that when one man could not get his wife pregnant, he asked his brother to impregnate her so they could have a family to carry on the estate. And that is how it was meant to be. Although when my husband described it, he used, "brother" as in "brother in christ" and I would only get pregnant by sperm, not sex...like we get to have sex anymore anyway, now it's all timed bd'ing and DH is NEVER in the mood when it's "time" because he says it doesn't feel "sexy"...sigh

Maybe I shouldn't be replying when I'm so tired and frustrated with the day I had...

I guess just work out a plan and stick to it!

Yes. We would do IUI. I talked to my DH last night. He is on the fence about DS. If IVF percentages were higher we would go with that. But 35% is just not a good percentage. I heard of some couples trying it multiple times. Our insurance doesnt cover it. I wish I had a more positive outlook on IVF but it's really hard when you hear how many times ppl have tried it and nothing...

I'm sorry to hear the news was not good. You have a lot to think about, and I'm sure you will find one option is best for you. It just takes time to weigh your options and go forward with what is best for you. There is no right or wrong answer. Whatever you do decide, we support you, and I'm sure you will move forward with happiness when you make you decision.

My DH and i are going though very similar things. Our journey started a few years ago with a very very low count and then nothing after that. When we first found out my DH was very against adoption and wouldn't talk about it and didn't want to think about finding a donor. He Knew that there would be someone out there who could help him get a count back. Its been almost 2 years and nothing still. However he is now open to things he was once totally apposed to. Hopeful you DH will come around a lot sooner then mine and you will be able to look into other options. As far as IVF goes look around and find prices even if you have to go out of state. There is a place in UT that is doing Multi Cycle IVF Treatment with deliver a baby or money back refund. I have looked into this program an its looks great. You do have to meet some of there criteria and i'm not sure as to what it all lintels but you can look into it and see if you meet there qualificatuions. There website is www.fertilitydr.com Also look around for groups in your area that give out grants and other things that will help pay for your treatments.

lilcmhos I don't know your DHs diagnosis, but is Male Infertility the only factor? IVF can be expensive but there are some resources out there. There is Attain IVF and some clinics have package deals where you get more than one try. You can also go out of state. Here in Western NY there is a clinic CNY fertility that has really awesome IVF prices. Research them and research others and available resources for IVF.

My DH had zero sperm so the Urologist had to surgically remove them form his testes. We god DD on our first IVF - I was 40. Three following IVFs for a sibling were a bust - but I was also older.

Is IUI covered by your insurance? Give DH a bit of time - for guys it can be hard to accept that they need a DS. It's like their manlihood is on the line or something.

This is so very hard because it's not only how much money, but if you're ok with using Donor sperm or not. My issue as my eggs, not DH sperm. But when our IUIs all failed, I was given a 10-15% chance of conceiving with my own eggs doing an IVF, or go straight to DE. DH was mad at me, but I was not willing to go to DE until i KNEW that my eggs just weren't going to work. I am now preggo with twins, from my own eggs. I guess my point is that it's really hard to make a decision based on odds, and instead based on how you feel about the situation. I should've never done my IVF. But I had to go with my gut. I just got extremely lucky. Good luck to you and whatever decision you and DH make!

Thanks for the feedback ladies. I had a talk with my DH. He is really undecided. I really think he wants us to go for IVF first and then if that doesnt work then DS. I am getting super impatient at this point and really just want to become pregnant any way I can at this point and that is selfish on my part for not thinking of his feelings in this. I am going to check CNY and see what finance options they have available. Still on the fence about it... I guess it CAN happen. And I shouldnt be skeptical that it wont. So tired of all this.

I really didn't think the IVF would work after all the failed IUI's and medicated cycles over a 6 year period. That's why I was more comfortable with the CNY package and having more than one shot. But it DID work and I'm so glad we took the chance. I know our issues are not the same but I just wanted to share that I really had lost hope when this all finally happened for us. Good luck!!

Sorry you are going through this!
My DH has low everything and we were told IVF was our only option. I understand the urgency and need you are feeling to get pregnant as well as the financial pressure. My insurance doesn't cover anything to do with Infertility either. It really sucks! :(

Glad to hear you will take a look at CNY Fertility in NY as they have unbeatable IVF prices. I live in SoCal and the prices are so good that I'm willing to travel across country just for the opportunity to try (and my odds are lower due to DOR).

We have considered DS because he has two younger brothers who both have children but I REALLY want my DH's bio child.. even more than my own...so DS for us now is not an option. The decision has to be what both you and DH feel is the best. I would highly recommend that DH be completely on board on any decision before pursuing it though. Really try to be patient with him if you can. Men have egos and this type of diagnosis can be tough on them.
Hopefully, you two are able to agree on which route to take very soon! Good Luck :)

Hi We were in the same place as you are back in 2009. My husband has a very low sperm count and were told if we did IVF we would have a 35% chance also. We decided to go for it and spent 10 grand and didn't get anything out of it. So we went with donated sperm. It was the best thing we could of done. We got pregnant through an IUI in November of 2009 and had our son in July 2010. He was 5 weeks early but very healthy. And the scarey thing is he looks just like my husband! We have people tell us that they look just like each other. And we chose not to tell anyone. So we know they aren't just saying that. So I guess all I can say is you need to do what you feels is best for you and your husband. Good luck and if you have any questions or just want to talk just message me. **Hugs**

Due to my DH situation our only option was using donor sperm. I have always wanted to be able to experience being pregnant and my hubby wanted the same for me. We went through Cyros International New York. We paid on the average of 650.00 each cycle. We searched through the donors and came upon one the looked like my hubbies twin ( if he had a twin) when he was little. We went through 5 IUIs and finally were blessed with our twin boys due in July. We are beyond excited and I haven't seen my hubby so excited for his lil hunting buddies!! It does not bother my hubby at all its not his bio children. He always wanted children and is the best uncle a kid could ask for and will be the best dad ever!!! Like he said he has been here for them since way 1 and will be here for them till the end of time. Good luck with everything!!