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Attack of the Pregnant TEENS

lookingforelijah
lookingforelijah
Sooooo I go to church today, and realize that there are three pregnant teenage girls obviously unwed, uneducated, and unable to care for a baby on THIER own. It literally made me sick........ Not to mention that my god sons mom is a teenager as well (she just turned 18 a few months ago). I mean I'm not saying that I'm better then they are or anything like that, but my goodness. I have a career, I'm educated, I'm able to take care of myself and somebody else on my salary, but they are able to get pregnant and walk around rubbing THIER bellies, and picking out names like they are in a position to care for a child, when they can't even care for themselves.... One of the girls doesn't even know who her child's father is!!!!

My god sons mom recently told me that she got pregnant AGAIN when he was 2months old, he's currently 7months now..... And she aborted the baby!!!!! OMG I just wanted to scream!!!!!!! She also had an abortion 2years ago!

Awhile back someone suggested that i oversee the unwed/singles mothers ministry!!!!! thats like aninsult because this persn knows what my situation is!!!!! i politely declined, but im still ofended and upset that they would even say that to me... first off, why would i want tomlok at agroup of women YOUNGER than me with thier kids, andsecondly what would i tell them?!?! that i wish i was a mommy? that i prayed amdcroed for God to allow me to get pregnant? that i sometimes want to hate them for being abke to have babies when. My body is obviously doing its own thing....

For some reason the children at church flock to em. They all come sick by me when i get there. I give me as much attention and love as I can but how much longer will it be before I have my own child to love?!?!!?!?!? I have 2 godchildren. My goddaughter is 5& godson is 7 months. I love them with all my heart, and can accept them and love then and not feel the pain of not having my own child, but beyond that I can't deal with other pals kids right now......

Why is it so easy for these young girls to get pregnant? And those of us who are adults who are in a position to start our families seem to struggle and go thru hell to do what others make look so easy.. If I got a $1 for every time somebody said "I wasn't even tryna get pregnant" I'd be Rich!!!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh, I'm so sorry you had a rough day. I can relate about the teens - I'm a hs teacher and I have 2 pregnant students right now. It's hard to see them some days. They are nice girls, but still, why can't I get pregnant too?

We're going through a miscarriage, so returning to work next week will be especially difficult. Kids kind of flock to me too - and periodically ask me why I don't have kids. (I usually just make a joke about it. I never tell them the truth.) I just found out that another college friend of mine is pregnant. I'd never tell her this - but I'm really jealous and angry - especially cause of what we've been through.

I hope you get to feel better soon. The kids flock to you no doubt because you are a nurturing person. I will keep my fingers crossed for you and send good hopes your way.
lookingforelijah
lookingforelijah
Thanks..... And let me apologize for all those typos...... I just needed to vent and didn't even proof read it.......:-)

There is a slight chance that I will be able to get back on the TTC wagon next year..... Hopefully it will happen.

I'm so sorry about ur miscarriage!!!!!! Hope u have a great week back at work.....
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm an elementary teacher who has students ask me all the time if I have any children or why I don't have any children. I always just say "I don't have any YET." They can take that anyway they want. I'm hoping that soon I will be a mommy and I'll be able to show them the pictures and talk to them. Also, I totally understand about the teenagers being pregnant. We've had a couple 13 (yes 13!!) year olds recently have babies....makes me sick. The grandmas will be raising those children. I wish there was a way for only people who "deserve" to be parents could be parents. I hope I'm not comming across too negative, just how I feel.

@ hpbdx....sorry about your miscarriage!!
Megs525
Megs525
The ironic thing is that this was at the top of the message board just now and I was just thinking about the 19-year-old girl in my office earlier today who is 12 weeks pregnant, unwed (not even with the baby's dad), unemployed, living with her grandmother, addicted to drugs, and is generally unstable. She had spent the hour talking about how excited she is, even though this was unplanned and she noted that she just "knew" she would get pregnant during this time in her life.

I don't know what it is so easy for some people to "think" themselves pregnant. I wish it was that easy for all of us who are educated with careers and stability and all that "stuff." However, I know that when I get my BFP someday, I will appreciate it more than anybody ever could. And when I get to hold my baby in my arms for the first time (whenever that may be), it will be that much more incredible.

So...the occasional slap in the face of pregnant teens is frustrating beyond belief, but it keeps me hoping that someday I too will get my chance! Good luck to you too...hopefully you get your miracle baby soon!
Megs525
Megs525
The ironic thing is that this was at the top of the message board just now and I was just thinking about the 19-year-old girl in my office earlier today who is 12 weeks pregnant, unwed (not even with the baby's dad), unemployed, living with her grandmother, addicted to drugs, and is generally unstable. She had spent the hour talking about how excited she is, even though this was unplanned and she noted that she just "knew" she would get pregnant during this time in her life.

I don't know what it is so easy for some people to "think" themselves pregnant. I wish it was that easy for all of us who are educated with careers and stability and all that "stuff." However, I know that when I get my BFP someday, I will appreciate it more than anybody ever could. And when I get to hold my baby in my arms for the first time (whenever that may be), it will be that much more incredible.

So...the occasional slap in the face of pregnant teens is frustrating beyond belief, but it keeps me hoping that someday I too will get my chance! Good luck to you too...hopefully you get your miracle baby soon!
maljado
maljado
I know what you mean! I'm a librarian and see pregnant teens come in all the time. One patron came up to me just recently asking if we had a certain book for her pregnant 14 year old daughter. She had such a big smile on her face like she was proud her teen daughter was pregnant...because she was going to be a grandma! Ugh!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sometimes I feel the same way...I have suffered with infertility since I was 26 and now I am turning 42 this month still no baby.Well God Promises Us Hope and a Future this coming year I will try Ivf or Adoption ..Wishing you all the Best and Hope You Get Your Miracle...
melissaw27
melissaw27
That is rough. I work in a low income, elementary school. Most of the parents have 3 or more children and receive government assistance. It is so heartbreaking to see that they cannot provide for their kids. I got pregnant in April and went into labor in July (17 weeks). It was very difficult to see my students from last year because they all asked about the baby. Hang in there! I ask myself everyday why so many deserving people are handed this cruel path of infertility.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know how you feel, I am finishing my degree after 5 years in the military and there are 10-15 pregnant 17 and 18 year old girls between my classes. It drives me crazy because most of them live with their parents and the "father" isn't in the picture. It really bothers my husband too because he is very family oriented, all he has ever wanted is to be a dad. He hates how it effects me, it's especially hard when my nieces and nephews or friends toddlers flock to me. Everytime I go to my sister's I end up with 3-4 kids fighting for my attention. It's sometimes like self inflicted torture.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have a god daughter who's mother Is extremely careless with her, always leaving her at grammas to go party, then she got pregnant again and aborted the baby. It tore me up, I could not take it and I cut her out of my life, luckily I still get to see my precious god daughter. Its extremely painful thing to watch, suffering in silence all the time. I find it helps to take some time away from very hurtful situations.
lookingforelijah
lookingforelijah
abbi12 I hear you... self inflicted torture it is.... I know that outside of my godchildren i am more reserved with my affection for not wanting to get attached..... and i have to work harder to bond with my godson for he same reason, My goddaughter is 5 1/2, so i was already her godmother before the whole IF thing came into the picture. I had just started trying when she was born... so i was well bonded with her when i found out about what was going on with my body..... But my godson is another story.. I feel a lil bad about it. I dont mistreat him but i have to work harder to not fall apart when im loving on him, holding him....... I get to see him whenever i want so that helps. Just recently i had to go to walmart to stock up on baby cereal, formula, extra bottles, pampers, and wipes because hims mom FORGOT his diaper bag........
deleted_user
deleted_user
My sister had a daughter 6 months after me and my DH started trying and another daughter last month. It's been harder with these two nieces than it was with her other children. She's a great mom and I love her children but it's just harder than it was before. She has been amazingly sensative, even offering to be a surrogate. That's not a route I'm willing to go but the sentiment is nice. When I hear stories of parents that forget to feed theri kids or neglect to take them to the doctor it just drives me crazy. The things people take for granted is utterly ridiculous.
bb1234
bb1234
OMG....I know ...exacrly what you mean...I does feel the same way when I see women that have multi partners,not married,no job, no degree still in high school and carry a baby full term more than once,then say...oh..when are you ,going to have a baby...I didn't even know ..I was pregnant...My Gosh...Really though!
lookingforelijah
lookingforelijah
bb1234 i have come to realize that people don't even realize that infertility is like a silent invisible thing...... A girl at work asked me last week when was i going ot have a baby. I didn't even answer her.... I just kinda gave her a look that said the topic was not up for discussion and she got the hint and we kept on eating lunch!

I'm just at a point now where i refuse to allow myself to go crazy because of other people's ignorance.