my heart aches for you honey. i cannot imagine the pain and worse yet the embarrassment that they felt they needed to hide it from you. your DH at the very least should have told you, though I'm sure he was just trying to avoid hurting you he seems to have made it worse... hang in there sweetie... thinking of you.

Lina, I am so very sorry you are in such pain. I wish I could wrap my arms around you for a ((((BIG HUG!)))

I am so sorry Lina. I know you are hurting so much, but please believe me when I tell you that it is not your fault you lost your baby. I know it does not take away the pain any but you can not blame yourself because there was nothing you did or could have done different.

I have found with infertility that our friends and family seem to struggle with how and when to tell us about pregnancy and not matter how they try, or don't try, they seem to pick the WORSE times to tell us, like in the middle of dinner, at work, in a store, etc. I don't understand why and I guess I never will, just as they will never really understand what it is we go through.

What I can say is I really do not think they kept it from you to hurt you. I am sure it was because they knew it would cause you pain while you were already going through such a difficult loss. I guess there are very few ways to tell us these things in a way to really soften the blow. And now matter how we hear it, we are going to feel pain at first. Pain for what we do not have, pain for the thought of who we have lost, pain for all we have been through and even pain for feeling pain at what should be and ultimately is good news. Deep down we are usually happy for our friends and family but so sad for ourselves.

Know we are all here for you Lina. I hope you are able to talk with DH and explain to him that should this come up in the future there may be another way for him to tell you and maybe give him an example. I have done that with friends.

Love and hugs my friend. {{{HUG}}}

Lina, I am so sorry for the loss of your baby and so sorry for this "blow". I totally know how you feel. I could've written this post myself after every pregnancy announcement that I hear. I feel like my friends don't want to tell me about being pregnant because the last 3 announcements I got were via e-mail. Then my cousin felt the need to warn me before her big announcement that she was pregnant. I really don't know how I want to hear about pregnancies. Honestly I don't really want to know but then I also don't want to be left out. I never thought I would feel this way about pregnancies of people that are so close to me. I hate that IF has made me such a jealous person and has alienated me from my friends. My DH just doesn't get it either. The other day I just had a runny nose from allergies and he thought I was crying. He said "what's the matter is someone else pregnant?" I couldn't believe he said that, I thought that was so insensitive!

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in all this. Again, so sorry for what you are going through!

My heart goes out to you... I am so very sorry for what you are going through. I hope something unexpectedly wonderful comes into your life when you least expect it. (((HUGS)))

Hi lina. Trust me I know the feeling of losing a little one as I had a chemical pregnancy this past September and had surgery for an ectopic pregnancy just this past March. I know all about the pain of hearing how great someone else's pregnancy is going and how happy they are when you know that you are supposed to be right there with them. And I know it may be hard, but one thing that has surprisingly helped me is to be happy and excited about others' pregnancies. I'm not saying that I go out of my way to talk to them or be around them but I just try my best to be happy for them because I'm confident that I will have that joy one day just like you will as well. I even pray that their pregnancies go well and that they have healthy babies. For some reason this has really helped my spirit. It's like I realized that I had to start being happy and share in the joy with others because I know that I would love for them to do the same when it's my time.
I honestly don't think your fam was trying to hurt you in anyway. The first thought that came to my mind was that they actually wanted to do just the opposite which was to prevent from hurting you as they probably figured it was a sensitive subject for you. Trust me I do believe that once your fam sees that you are dealing with your loss a little better, I do believe that they will feel more comfortable opening up to you about such news. Please know that I am here if you want to chat. And when you feel stronger and emotionally ready please try out that method of feeling joy and happiness for other pregnant women. It may be a little difficult at first but I do believe that this was one of the ways that better helped me to cope and feel peace as I await my time. I pray that this will be our year.

So sorry! I feel your pain!

=( I am so sorry! Your turn will come one day when you are announcing your pregnancy at the dinner table. Hang in there sweetie!