Infertility Support Group
In vitro fertilization is one of the most common and utilized ways of treating conception problems. This support group is dedicated to those beginning their journey with IVF and needing support. Join the community and share your experiences, advice, and story with people going through similar challenges starting a family.
Ok so this is the story, I get a text mesaage from a very very good friends yesterday asking me for teh name of my RE. I asked why? She said because her friend Kayla wants to go. Her is teh deal with Kayla Kayla is 22 years old and bouces from BF to BF and has been with her current one for all of 2 weeks. Her reasoning is that she wants to have kids one day. They are not trying they are not even having sex. I told her she needed to go to the ONBYN first and the could run some simple test. She thinks because her periods are abnormal she needs an RE. I told her my RE wont even see you unless you have been trying for a year at least, so she needs to go to her obgyn. I told her they can do blood work to see if you ovulate. That the starting point. Even with girls like us that have issues we had to start there. Then she tells me she didnt know I decided who the doctor will see and I just needed to give her the number. I said no. IF is a big deal and not just some band wagon to jump on because you feel like it. I am very strong in my opinion she needs to start at an OBGYN. She has NEVER tried to have kids. Why would you want to join teh IF club if you dont have to. So she is pissed at me and Im pissed at her. I feel like lately to many ladies have been jumping on th eIF bandwagon after like 2 months of TTC and then Bam end up pregnant and that makes us all feel like crap. My freinds Tori said it best If is a club you have to earn your way into. Through tears and heartbreak and heartache.
After everything I have gone through it makes me feel like she doesnt give a crap and she is going to lump my struggles with Kayla. I thought we werer friends and she understood but after yesterday it is clear she doesnt.
Last time I checked Loosing 3 babies and then not being able to get pregnant only having one tube qualified you as IF, just wanting to have kids one day doesnt!!!!
Am I crazy over reacting? HOw would you have reacted. Not only that Kayla has no Job. I told her the RE is not covered by insurance.
After everything I have gone through it makes me feel like she doesnt give a crap and she is going to lump my struggles with Kayla. I thought we werer friends and she understood but after yesterday it is clear she doesnt.
Last time I checked Loosing 3 babies and then not being able to get pregnant only having one tube qualified you as IF, just wanting to have kids one day doesnt!!!!
Am I crazy over reacting? HOw would you have reacted. Not only that Kayla has no Job. I told her the RE is not covered by insurance.
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Overreating...well, who knows. I think we all do it. Heck, I just did it this morning to my husband - went OFF on him. Here is what he asked me, "So, what do you have planned for today?" :)
Hopefully your friend will come around and be more sensitive to your journey. She sounds VERY immature.
I used to always say, "walk a mile in my uterus and then we'll talk". IF is hard -in every possible way. There is no easy point to IF and if this KAYLA person really understood that, she would not be so eager.
That said - just get some distance from your friend for awhile and focus on you and your hubby and let things cool down. You might feel different in a week or two.
They will probably tell her she has nothing to worry about....they may also find all sorts of things!
I told my husband long before we got married & thought about children, that I had a "feeling" about all this stuff, and here we are 3 yrs off BCP, still no kids!
Also, (i know this is not the case here)is someone that has IF, & manages to have a baby after a year any less IF, than some one who had been on the journey for 5 yrs?
Try to clear the air with your friend. Explain to her your feelings (and how she hurt them), is she worth losing over this? It could be that she just doesn't get it!
Hope you feel better about all this soon......
Oh, and you're totally justified in feeling resentful about her trying to join iF club. Just I wouldn't act on it.
All I can say is that maybe there is infertility or trouble conceiving in her family history and she wants to get a jump on things. I only say this because I was very uneducated on the subject of conception and fertility and so I did a lot of my own research early on. Five years ago I knew the steps I needed to take incase fertility became an issue.
Don't be disheartened, you are justified in feeling the way you do. I would just give her the number to avoid any more "bad water" between you all. In the end, you loose a friend. If she is a disposable friend (sorry for the term) then maybe you did the right thing.
Good Luck!
So, my sister has this friend that wants to get pregnant in the next two months (she says it HAS to be in the next two months so her maternity leave will be in the winter, where it's boring anyway, and that way she'll be able to drink again in the summer and go to parties - very immature, I know). SO, SHE'S ASKING HER DOCTOR TO PUT HER ON CLOMID. This is a woman who already had one child with no complications. She doesn't have fertility issues. I'm thinking, "Are you crazy?"
You're totally right, some people just don't get it.