Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
I've been so afraid, confused, angry, and depressed. I can no longer control my emotions any longer, and I need to let it out, because If I don't, I'm afraid I'll do something really bad. I can no longer pretend to be happy with myself. Who the hell am I anymore? I'm not someone who goes around lusting after men. I feel like a sex crazed women, afraid of commitment, afraid of finding someone who can take away all my pain and bring me back up to the surface. Instead, I force myself under water, gasping for air, drowning in my own depression and hatred of myself.
*Trigger Warning*
I wish I wasn't sexually abused by my own brother, when I was seven and he was 14, and he knew exactly what he was doing. I hate and love him all at once, because he took away something that I can never take back. He took away my innocence and I feel like I have been thrown to the lions, because my family refuses to accept the fact that he forced me to do things that I did not consent to, and he claims after all these years, that I said it was okay. I was fucking 7, I didn't know what consent was! Now I live with pain, rejection, and suffering, while you live out your happy life, with your wife, daughter, and devoted life to Jesus, while I deal with my life and your mistakes on top of my shoulder.
It doesn't help that I assholes of boyfriends, who manipulated, controlled, and me and made me feel worthless and less as a person, because when I didn't want to be sexual and you did, it was only what you wanted and again I was forced to do things that I was not ready or consented to do.
It does not help that I put myself in two situations, where I felt helpless while I froze and allowed two men to sexually assault me...
And then I discovered a new side of sex...something that I never saw before, a mystery, something new to explore... and now I can't even keep a relationship... because my curiosity and lust get the best of me. I was never into promiscuity, and now I feel like its all I do. What the hell is wrong with me? I just want to be happy, be normal, not having this conflicting feelings. Someone please help me make sense of my life and my fucked up mind.....
donnawanda
I'm sure everything you're feeling and doing is a natural reaction to what happened to you. You are not alone. Why not seek help? RAINN.org is a good place to start.
Join the Conversation
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I feel so dirty and used I was drunk and passed out at a party when I came around some guy was on top of me rapeing me he covered my mouth and told me to shut up afterwards he got up and got dressed and said I better not tell anyone I found my friend and reported that I had been raped after having medical checks and them getting DNA I've taken the morning after pill IAM just so depressed and...
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Upon his departure, he remarked, "I am in many people’s pockets; no one will believe you." Have you ever grappled with the silence that follows sexual assault, where the perceived impossibility of being believed necessitates self-censorship?
