I see your pain. My heart goes out to you.

Thank you. I need to let myself feel this pain and accept it in order to get through it. As my therapist explained it's part of the grieving process. It is good that I can really feel and own that pain. It's not pleasant but necessary. Tank you for caring and listening.

I'm sorry for that child. I wish I could hold him and comfort him. No child should ever suffer like that.

I have just spent several hours talking with that child part and have tried to comfort him. He does feel somewhat comforted and that his feelings are validated.

Thank you so much for caring.

Your child should have been cared for and loved. I too wish I could do that for him. He is very precious.

I'm sorry Lou. You never deserved any of this. I feel your pain. (((hugs))) love Manda xx

Gentle hugs to you on your journey. I hear you and know you were hurt.

Do not be ashamed of who you are. You are strong. Thank you for sharing.

Thanks to all of you. This seems like part of the process of being free of the past, but it is very hard and sad, also grieving all the losses.

I have been thinking about this and there is no way that I can fill his needs. I think it's going to be a very long process and that longing for the mother he never had will never truly heal. It's a loss and must be grieved. Right now it's an open wound. There will be some healing, like with the loss of my wife. I no longer feel like the world has ended, but every time I think of that loss I tear up as I am now. It's something that will be painful forever because it can never be reversed. It's gone and will never be again. I have to stop. I'm crying too much.

Crying is good Ioum. That's what grieving is about. Let them flow.

I have to commend you. What an amazing step forward! I simply don't have the courage to feel anything or even acknowledge that child within and many others done. You're so strong and courageous!

Thank you. I do have to give credit to my therapist for making her office such a safe place. I've spent a lot of time exploring myself, feelings, all the separate parts and now the dark and painful parts. In the process I've been able to accept myself and feel comfortable with myself.

Hello loum .... I have been meaning to reply to your post but I've been sick - recurring chest infection and have had major dental work - have not had the energy for much at all! I hope what I have to say is helpful - there's also a bit of 'self-parenting' - looking our for your inner child. I understand about not having the mother you needed.

My experience of the inner child is that I had to get in touch with her in order to free her from terror. This has taken quite some time but today I know when she is around. She loves colour, flowers and music and sometimes sees things (as if) for the first time. She told me her name that took a while! She loves to enquire about things.

When I first sank into clinical depression I was so anxious about EVERYTHING. I would get into the car and burst into tears and had no idea why! I lost my job had to give it up. I was terrified to be at home and even more terrified to go out anywhere.

Slowly I became more and more confident and some time later learnt about the inner child. I am with her always now and can reassure her if she is concerned or fearful.

I hope this is helpful carry on the good work with your therapist.
Daisymay ... ps ... (whispers) I am older than you!

That child deserved love and protection. I'm so sorry he had to suffer as he did. Glad you're getting through this with a therapist.