Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
so it's been a while since anything has really triggered me... a couple weeks ago my grandma left her flea infested cat here at my place before moving to another state...... I've tried everything, using flea meds, sprays, bombing my place with those raid things. Nothing works and the fleas are getting bad......... So bad that I haven't been able to sleep because they jump on my bed.
So me and my fiance set up camp in my walk in closet until payday so we could bomb the house again and take him to the vet.
Well, the first time I remember being abused was in a closet at my grandparent's place when I was like 4-5 years old by my 2nd cousin and great uncle.
Last night was the third night sleeping in the closet- I've been having nightmares but nothing too bad yet. My fiance and I had sex before going to bed. He was still in the mood and woke up in the middle of the night and had sex with me again. He thought I was awake because I apparently talk and moan a lot in my sleep when I'm having a nightmare. Well I woke up in the middle of this and was trying to move away from him and he kept pulling me back and holding me in place. He was being kind of rough which is out of character unless he REALLY in the mood.... And being that I woke up from a nightmare to this it really freaked me out. I ended up sleeping on our couch.... He feels bad now and I can't stop thinking about it. He said he didn't know I was freaked out or that I was even asleep when he started... How do you not notice something like that?
So me and my fiance set up camp in my walk in closet until payday so we could bomb the house again and take him to the vet.
Well, the first time I remember being abused was in a closet at my grandparent's place when I was like 4-5 years old by my 2nd cousin and great uncle.
Last night was the third night sleeping in the closet- I've been having nightmares but nothing too bad yet. My fiance and I had sex before going to bed. He was still in the mood and woke up in the middle of the night and had sex with me again. He thought I was awake because I apparently talk and moan a lot in my sleep when I'm having a nightmare. Well I woke up in the middle of this and was trying to move away from him and he kept pulling me back and holding me in place. He was being kind of rough which is out of character unless he REALLY in the mood.... And being that I woke up from a nightmare to this it really freaked me out. I ended up sleeping on our couch.... He feels bad now and I can't stop thinking about it. He said he didn't know I was freaked out or that I was even asleep when he started... How do you not notice something like that?
deleted_user
I wonder if you are familiar with the type of dissociation I used to go through. I would just disappear mentally. I would be completely unconscious and lose time and memory of the event, but for the people around me I was still talking and reacting. That's what came to mind, with the closet being a trigger, perhaps you dissociated. Perhaps not. Just a thought. Otherwise it's a little weird that your boyfriend did not realize you were asleep. Can you ask him if you actually spoke to him during the asleep time? Waking to a sexual situation while in a closet which is like a closet where you were abused, sounds like a nightmare. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It doesn't seem like a good idea for you to sleep in the closet. Try to communicate with your boyfriend about what he was thinking. Best wishes.
Fallen1991
thanks... and he said he woke up and was "in the mood" and started touching me like he always does to start things and I was moaning... so he thought i was awake but i never actually said anything. he feels terrible again and we did talk about it a lot today. there was an incident before where he had sex with me somewhat against my will, we were in the middle of role play, and he thought i switched roles when i started saying no and stop... he had told me that he was in pain- he gets pains in his abdomen sometimes- and i had wanted to call it quits that night... he cried the next day about it because he's a sexual abuse victim himself and felt bad for what he put me through that night. what happened last night caused him to feel the same way when i told him how bad i was triggered. thank you for the advice. i'm not sure about the dissociation. that's something i should probably bring up next time i go to therapy.
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