It is rape anytime you are taken by force against your will.

One of the greatest tools that the rapist uses against the victim is, fear. They threaten to kill the victim, their family members, etc. This is another form of control. Rapists are control freaks. They get their "highs" by controlling their victims. Power and control is what feeds these criminals.

I don't think it hs to be force, just against your will.

ok I was raped then I suppose once by a family member and also by a stranger. I was forced both times and threatened. I feel ashamed by this but I know it happens and there is nothing I can do about it now.

You cannot make it not have happened, but there is a lot you can do about it. You could report the animals that did this to you and you can work on how this has affected your life.

well the family memeer i did not report but it is a complicated story. also the strager I did not know and he got away so I cant do anything about that. It has affected my life in many ways yes.

You are in the right place-so many people will share your feelings. Welcome

There is nothing you can do to undo what happened to you, but you can help yourself, or seek help, to come to terms with what happened so that its effect on the rest of your life is not as destructive as it might be.

I was raped and sexually abused by my father for most of my childhood, by some of his friends on at east one occasion, I was raped by a fellow guest at a so-called friend's house in my 20's. My father is now dead and by the time I was able to even think about being able to face and report my other rapist I no longer had the means to track him. Luckily, seeking justice is not essential to healing.

Recognising what was done to you is the first step. You might want to think about contacting a therapist or a woman's shelter, there are many many books that offer help and insight ('The Courage to Heal' is one) and there is this group. Whatever you do, take it at your own pace and try to be kind to yourself. You did not harm anyone else, they harmed you. What happened was not your fault.

Hugs

thanks for the replys. It is sad we have to go through this abuse. I just dont understand people sometimes. Rape is a Sin as well as abuse. I am having a hard time with this in my life and have no support so was looking for some support here and see how others are coping with this. thanks.

kittycat72d,

One of the best books out there for rape victims, IMO, is Resurrection After Rape by Matt Atkinson.

And, kittycat72d, the shame is not yours...but it may take a while before you understand that.

Your work now is to heal yourself. Go check out that book.

xx

thanks Suz I will check it out..