Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
I have been on the path of healing from incestuous abuse for quite some time now. At least, seriously, for about 2 years. Hindsight really is 20/20
All of the dysfunctions one could imagine were mine as I tried to go through life with my "shameful secret." I did not know how to begin to ask for help.
I was in my late 50's when I "hit the wall" and fell apart. This was triggered by a back injury and the onset of severe fibromyalgia. I had some counseling for PTSD of a chronic illness and the history of the sexual abuse popped out too. Thus began a journey of healing. About time too!!
As I began to acknowledge my emotional pain and dysfunctional ways of coping in life, my emotional self began to grow. I was and still am amazed by this delightful development.
In my life, I am a very kind, giving person and I thought I had the ability to "love." Well, I did love to the best of my ability but due to the abuse my ability (unknown to me at the time) was actually limited or "numb."
Now that I am healing, my emotional abilities are just wonderful, way more alive and developed. I am still very protective of whom I will share this self with but I now know that I am capable of great emotional feelings. This is one of the "gifts" of walking the path back to self and healing.
I used to blame the people from past failed relationships for "all of it" and I did pick some dandies due to lack of self-value but now I realize that I probably could not really give much more than surface emotional value to the relationship and that I was indeed very strange (multiple personalities) and clingy (needing someone else to find value in me).
Can anyone else relate to this?
All of the dysfunctions one could imagine were mine as I tried to go through life with my "shameful secret." I did not know how to begin to ask for help.
I was in my late 50's when I "hit the wall" and fell apart. This was triggered by a back injury and the onset of severe fibromyalgia. I had some counseling for PTSD of a chronic illness and the history of the sexual abuse popped out too. Thus began a journey of healing. About time too!!
As I began to acknowledge my emotional pain and dysfunctional ways of coping in life, my emotional self began to grow. I was and still am amazed by this delightful development.
In my life, I am a very kind, giving person and I thought I had the ability to "love." Well, I did love to the best of my ability but due to the abuse my ability (unknown to me at the time) was actually limited or "numb."
Now that I am healing, my emotional abilities are just wonderful, way more alive and developed. I am still very protective of whom I will share this self with but I now know that I am capable of great emotional feelings. This is one of the "gifts" of walking the path back to self and healing.
I used to blame the people from past failed relationships for "all of it" and I did pick some dandies due to lack of self-value but now I realize that I probably could not really give much more than surface emotional value to the relationship and that I was indeed very strange (multiple personalities) and clingy (needing someone else to find value in me).
Can anyone else relate to this?
Tom B. aka Ihman
Thanks!
cmjat: be the supportive partner you seem to be and maybe your partner should be here on DS to at least begin to see that she is not alone on this one. To walk the path of healing one must take the steps to actively seek help to at least kick-start the healing process through acknowledging the emotional pain from the abuse and grieving this pain as this is the only way that it can be let go. This is not to say that one simply becomes sad, depressed, full of self-pity, or wallows in excuses for not taking real steps to heal.
It takes courage to be real and let the truth override the painful abuse and allow emotional grieving it's right to expression. This step is best done with a supportive counsellor experienced with victims of childhood sexual abuse. After this, the path may be tricky and bumpy but no longer so very frightening.
Wishing you both lots of encouragement to do the right thing as it will really surprise and enhance your lives together beyond anything you could have imagined. Well, it might be a little shaky in the beginning, but the whole healing process is so very worth it.