Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
I read a book that made me look at life and myself in a whole new spectrum....
The book I read is called: SIDDHARTHA BY HERMANN HESSE
This book has taught me to create a home within myself. I cherish this home I have made. I make sure that inside myself, my home, my sanctuary, no one can hurt me. I am so happy with myself on the inside that nothing external can hurt me. NOTHING. Everytime I am in a situation that makes me feel uncomfortable I tell myself in my head, "I am not out there, I am in HERE. I am in a place where I cannot be hurt and I am happy with myself knowing I have a place to be free!"
This book will teach you how to be centered with yourself and love yourself and your inner home. Since I have read this book I feel like everything in the world outside of me can NEVER sway me unless I let it. The key is to be happy inside. To be happy inside you must love yourself and be happy that you are the way you are, no matter what happened to you! You are not the one to blame for anything so why not love yourself?? I didnt love myself for a long time because I felt dirty about the things that happened to me in my life and I felt angry because all my life I was abandoned. Then I read this great book and realized, "Holy Cow! The reason why I am not recovering is because I hate the one thing that can help me get through it all, ME!" I am the only person that can help ME!
So I started being happy with me and learning about me so I can know what I need. I did some affirmations and I kept saying my favorite one, "My heart is KING and I crown it EVERYDAY!!!" I now feel loved, loved by MYSELF and that was what I needed to pull through. I love this book!!
I am updating some goals today: TRUST AND VALIDATE MYSELF because I trusted myself to read this book (I didnt think I was going to learn anything I just wanted some material to read. I actually second guessed this book a few times...) and when I did, I learned a great lesson. BECOME STRESS FREE because the biggest problem WAS not loving myself enough to fight these issues and feeling worthless because of them. Well no longer will I be stressed with my issues now that I know I can conquer them with a new found me, a stronger and loved me. CROWN MY HEART EVERYDAY because I learned a very valuable lesson, TO LOVE MYSELF ON THE INSIDE AND NOTHING WILL HURT YOU ON THE OUTSIDE!
Please everyone pick this book up! It will definately change your perception of yourself and make you STRONGER!! Lets all be aware of ourselves and how to channel it to our benefit :)
The book I read is called: SIDDHARTHA BY HERMANN HESSE
This book has taught me to create a home within myself. I cherish this home I have made. I make sure that inside myself, my home, my sanctuary, no one can hurt me. I am so happy with myself on the inside that nothing external can hurt me. NOTHING. Everytime I am in a situation that makes me feel uncomfortable I tell myself in my head, "I am not out there, I am in HERE. I am in a place where I cannot be hurt and I am happy with myself knowing I have a place to be free!"
This book will teach you how to be centered with yourself and love yourself and your inner home. Since I have read this book I feel like everything in the world outside of me can NEVER sway me unless I let it. The key is to be happy inside. To be happy inside you must love yourself and be happy that you are the way you are, no matter what happened to you! You are not the one to blame for anything so why not love yourself?? I didnt love myself for a long time because I felt dirty about the things that happened to me in my life and I felt angry because all my life I was abandoned. Then I read this great book and realized, "Holy Cow! The reason why I am not recovering is because I hate the one thing that can help me get through it all, ME!" I am the only person that can help ME!
So I started being happy with me and learning about me so I can know what I need. I did some affirmations and I kept saying my favorite one, "My heart is KING and I crown it EVERYDAY!!!" I now feel loved, loved by MYSELF and that was what I needed to pull through. I love this book!!
I am updating some goals today: TRUST AND VALIDATE MYSELF because I trusted myself to read this book (I didnt think I was going to learn anything I just wanted some material to read. I actually second guessed this book a few times...) and when I did, I learned a great lesson. BECOME STRESS FREE because the biggest problem WAS not loving myself enough to fight these issues and feeling worthless because of them. Well no longer will I be stressed with my issues now that I know I can conquer them with a new found me, a stronger and loved me. CROWN MY HEART EVERYDAY because I learned a very valuable lesson, TO LOVE MYSELF ON THE INSIDE AND NOTHING WILL HURT YOU ON THE OUTSIDE!
Please everyone pick this book up! It will definately change your perception of yourself and make you STRONGER!! Lets all be aware of ourselves and how to channel it to our benefit :)
Isn't it exciting to discover that there are many ways to heal?!! Creating an internal home built on self-love is one of the most healing things I've ever done for myself, too.
Loving myself on the inside changes the outside hurt into something else. I'm not talking about denial or dissociation here. I'm talking about a change in perception. When I hated myself I saw the world as a hostile, manipulative place. Self-love brought me compassion, understanding, and acceptance. I now see the world through a different lense.
Now I know this may sound like dissociation but it is not. It is worlds apart. When I go to my safe internal home I go there to center myself and to find answers. It is all about living a better life.
When I dissociate it's more like drugging myself, for that's how dissociation feels to me; it's this hazy, fuzzy, soft place that blinds me to the situation; a place where I don't have to think about anything. It's an escape and retreat from life.
It helped me survive as a child and I'm grateful. And though I still dissociate in certain situations, I know I am better off going to my internal home to process the trigger rather than float about in this 'drugged' state.
Yes, it's true for me that music, journal writing, art work, exercise etc., all help me deal with stress and the abuse. And it's also true that my stress is eased just in knowing that I have a safe place to go to within.
I have never felt that going within to find my answers was in any way avoiding stress, fear, pain, or anger. It was while in my internal home that I realized meditation would help me.
I was in that place when I also realized I had to reach out to others. It's true, that I am the only one who can do my work; nobody else can do it for me. It is also true that I cannot do it alone. The witnessing and support of others is critical when doing this work. Do not isolate.
All things in life are our teachers. Take the things that upset you and learn from them. In that way they lose their power to hurt you.
I am grateful for all those who light up the many paths of healing. Today, it is Eckhart Tolle who speaks to my mind, heart, and soul.
Hesse's Siddhartha may just be the light for another. Thank you so much for sharing, krystinem. I am happy for you.
On a more serious note, different things work for different folks. I find that I too, have an inner "home" where I go to process and heal. I agree with Glad2be in that you must pay attention to whether that inner home is really a place inside yourself you are going to love yourself, to deal with your own issues inside and help you heal yourself, or if you are in hiding within yourself and dissociating, or taking off to an inner safe world where you do not have to deal with your problems. As SuzA said, there tends to be a different feeling associated with the inner home versus that inner world we created to hide in. For those that do not know or recognize that big difference between the two, I think it might be a good learning experience to start understanding that difference, recognizing that we can create safe places within us that do not involve dissociation or escape.
And I go there when she needs some love and attention. hmmm...food for thought, Thanks guys!
Krysti, I too have found that when I started liking myself, that I became more stable as well. What others say about me affects me less and less because I am able to see myself in a more realistic and truthful way, instead of through the lies and untruths that the abuse taught me. It helps me to distinguish between the truth that they might be telling me about myself and the lies that hurt me. Whenever somebody makes me feel "Less Than" these days, I do not take it to heart and let it dominate my life. I no longer look for and try to get the approval of others because I approve of myself. This is a VERY BIG DEAL!! It is the throwing off of the burdens of shame, blame and guilt we have carried for so long. It is a love for ourselves, just the way we are. It is the knowledge, finally, of the TRUTH about ourselves, and our own self worth and value. It is a major accomplishment, and it is a real chance to reward ourselves of all we have managed to accomplish despite the odds against us! It is a large step forward in our healing process!
It helped me to see myself a little diffent then before. Gave me some strength during some hard times.