Man you have our own nightmares and then have to cope with loving someone whose own injuries bring you both down. I've very hard. I'm sorry. You deserve peace and enough times for you both to heal without being pummeled with more crisis. You were so tender to me in my journal. You already know all of us with big injuries act completely irrational out of them. My is rage and I hurt my friends. You man's is compulsive need to escape the pain and ends up hurting you in the process. I've hurt those I love because I just can't carry my wound in a healthy way all the time. I feel for your husband. I feel for you. My best wishes go with you both.

I have a compulsive shopper part also, with which I have been trying to communicate. That part of me does not want to think of bad things or ugly things, it likes to see and have nice things. When I mentioned my father that part started screaming. I do not have any credit cards or debit cards. If I want to buy things on the net I have to go to the store and buy a gift card. That requires planning and I can only spend as much as I have on the gift card. I did well at the store last night, I only bought one thing that I did not plan on, a purple t-shirt.

I wish there was something I could say that would help.

Thank you so much for your support.I am just back from hospital.He is alive.It's a miracle he did not die after what he had taken, the doctor said;it must have been his seventh attempt but I hope very much it's his last.He said it was a truly horrible experience .His mouth was all black , he had pipes everywhere and awful sadness in his eyes.He had thought it would be better for me if he died!

So, please, do not any of you on these boards go that route.it's just too horrific for all concerned..Reach for help .Life is precious, even if it is sometimes unbearable.

Well done Loum, enjoy your tshirt.I like purple too.
You have given me an idea.I think I am going to suppress my card and only draw cash to shop.
I think my husband's therapist is sending him straight into detox in a psychiatric hospital after that.I am trying to look at the positive side:resting space for me, no cooking to do meanwhile.
As for rage, Diana, I must confess that my husband got a slap from me, plus some French words you do not want to learn.And I threw his cell phone in the air (did not break.luckily)

Life is precious. I often have thoughts of suicide, but I have not made a serious attempt since I was 16. Since my wife passed away I realize how much it hurts when someone close to oneself dies. The pain is sometimes unbearable.

I must also mention for others that my husband , while he was taking more pills than prescribed, had also stopped taking his antipsychotic pill without telling me nor his therapist, maybe in an effort to lose weight.

I'm so sorry to hear this moonface. I'm glad you're able to see the possibility of resting space for you while he is in hospital. You must need it.
Take care of yourself.
Hugs

I am so sorry you are going through this right now Moon. All I can do is send you good vibes. Have you ever thought of locking up the computer(s) and phone(s)? Just a suggestion.