Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
You realized or remember (as was my case) that you were your daddy's lover?
The flash backs have subsided for the last couple of years. But there was several months that very explicit sexual actions were just popping into my head.
As a man figuring out that the love you shared with your dad (and few of his friends and his friend's kids) was sexual.
Also violent. First the whipping then the sex. Crazy really.
Funny that after the last year and half with my Therapist and I am pondering this worse than before.
Sometimes I chuckle out loud to myself while thinking, "Dang, I was daddy's lover."
Also wonder if that is why I am so phallic oriented. Everything looks like a dick and all I want is to have someone's dick.
Ugg...
Best to you all.
The flash backs have subsided for the last couple of years. But there was several months that very explicit sexual actions were just popping into my head.
As a man figuring out that the love you shared with your dad (and few of his friends and his friend's kids) was sexual.
Also violent. First the whipping then the sex. Crazy really.
Funny that after the last year and half with my Therapist and I am pondering this worse than before.
Sometimes I chuckle out loud to myself while thinking, "Dang, I was daddy's lover."
Also wonder if that is why I am so phallic oriented. Everything looks like a dick and all I want is to have someone's dick.
Ugg...
Best to you all.
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I feel so dirty and used I was drunk and passed out at a party when I came around some guy was on top of me rapeing me he covered my mouth and told me to shut up afterwards he got up and got dressed and said I better not tell anyone I found my friend and reported that I had been raped after having medical checks and them getting DNA I've taken the morning after pill IAM just so depressed and...
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Upon his departure, he remarked, "I am in many people’s pockets; no one will believe you." Have you ever grappled with the silence that follows sexual assault, where the perceived impossibility of being believed necessitates self-censorship?
Also, I've been painting out my trauma in abstract art and no matter how innocent or different the story, all people see is phallic images. It's only recently that I learned that's what people see and they look at me sideways.
I feel really embarrassed, no, ashamed, that I, subconsciously, have revealed my hyper-sexuality or whatever it is. I've been wearing it on my sleeve, exposing myself, so to speak, rather than guarding my dark secret.
I was daddy's sex slave for 2 years.
which is interesting because i have denied the prevalent incest thriving in the family. I believe this realization just further confirms the incest.
It makes you a human being whose mind and body were programmed with abuse.
I believe it's our spirit that will lead the fight to re-program our mind and body.
xx
SuzA
"... deep down many traumatized people are ... haunted by the shame they feel about what they did or did not do under the circumstances. They despise themselves for how terrified, dependent, excited or enraged they felt. ... Most of them suffer from agonizing shame about the actions they took to survive and maintain a connection with the person who abused them. ... The result can be confusion about whether one was a victim or a willing participant, which in turn leads to bewilderment about the differences between love and terror; pain and pleasure."
Isn't it strange how this all goes in cycles --- going to your comment about how you are pondering this so much ... or were in January. Every time I think I am past the anger at my grandfather, it comes back. Today I was so furious at him. Although a few months ago I felt at peace about him and had compassion for him, today I loathed him and wanted to dig him up out of the ground and revive him just for the pleasure of killing him.