I meant to say above, "it has seemed for me"

This is very good and very true.

Sometimes, though, I have found it hard to find my feelings - true feelings. When I've asked myself how I feel, I've honestly thought the answer was 'fine' 'good' 'not much specifically'.

It's surprising to me how many feelings I've hidden from myself. But it wasn't a conscious hiding them. It was something I learned so many years ago that I honestly had no clue I was hiding them. Coping mechanism for being raised in a way where having feelings or needs was a very punishable offense.

Just the last month maybe, I've been doing exercises to find my feelings. Amazing what I've found. Tough work, though - but very good to get through.

Good post, thanks for sharing.
A friend of mine on the Women who love too much board posted a few exercises. They seem weird at first, but they really do help.
I'm sure she won't mind me sharing them here. This is what her post said:
This was in an email I got this morning from Rori Raye..... Her stuff sounds like she's focusing on relationship but when you get into the nittygritty, it's about focusing on a relationship with YOURSELF....FIXING YOU... and gaining the TOOLS to learn HOW TO fix you.....

__________________________________

***To help yourself treasure yourself EXACTLY THE
WAY YOU ARE RIGHT NOW - even though you'll ALWAYS
want to learn new things, explore new ways of
behaving, speaking and just BEING - try this
(read how, first, and then stop reading for a
moment and try it):

Look away from your computer screen for a
moment.

Look at a bookcase, or a pile of papers, or a
book, or the phone, or a picture on the wall.

It can be a pretty thing, an ugly, practical
thing, or something in-between.

Look at it.

Really, really look at it.

Look at the colors - see that there are more
than one color - even if it's red or blue - there
are many shades of red and blue in the color you
see.

Look to see if light is shining on or bouncing
off the object.

Maybe there's a sparkle of light on one side,
and nothing on the other.

Look at the texture.

Feel it. See if it feels bumpy or smooth or
rough or soft.

Now check in with your body.

Do you feel anything, just from looking at
this simple object?

Do you feel judgmental?

Like - is it an ugly object, or old, or worn?

Does it make your mind go off in a million
directions about all the things you have to do?

Gently bring yourself back to the simplicity
of looking at the object and feeling it, and then
bring your attention back to your body and how
you're feeling.

Put a name to the feeling.

It could be sad, like a sad memory, it could
be happy, because you love that object, it could
be bored because you want to get back to this
letter.

Now tune into how relaxed or tense you are.

Now absolutely, completely ACCEPT whatever
you're feeling.

Absolutely ACCEPT the object EXACTLY AS IT IS.

Absolutely ACCEPT yourself, in this one moment,
exactly how you are, just like the object.

Now come on back to this eLetter.

What you've just done is one step, one small
but powerful step to Loving Yourself, that will
steadily undo all that self-hatred like Tammy is
throwing at herself.

And this is just the beginning, because what
you've done, really and truly, is BE VULNERABLE.

That's right.

That's all Vulnerability is - accepting
yourself in this one moment, and then letting
everyone around you - even that man you really
care for - see you EXACTLY as you are.

Just the way you really, really looked at and
ACCEPTED the object you worked with exactly as IT
was.

Vulnerability is not necessarily revealing
personal things about yourself.

IT'S NOT ABOUT HOW MUCH LOVE YOU GIVE A MAN,
BUT ABOUT HOW MUCH LOVE YOU GIVE YOURSELF IN HIS
PRESENCE.

And, the greatest thing about doing this very
small but powerful thing is that it looks exactly
the opposite of how we've all been taught to
think it looks.

It doesn't look timid or doormat-y.

It looks like self-esteem and confidence.

And all you did was look at what was right in
front of you, experience it, then accept your
most basic feelings of happiness or sadness,
without FEELING YOU HAVE TO DO ANYTHING.

This one simple thing will raise your self-
esteem.

Would it be possible for you to accept and surrender "I find it hard to find my feelings- my true feelings?"
If you can do this, you may find it is no longer a frustrating, fearful place. You may be surprised to find PEACE emanating from it.
Many times, I'll surrender "I don't know what to surrender" then oddly,
the Universe will show me.
Works for me.........thought I would share.

This was a very helpful post. Thank you.

Wow - good point. Thanks.

THANKS! IT'S WORKED FOR ME.

I've been fighting with my feelings for year. The scare me to death. Thank you for sharing this.

This is what I do in situations such as this......I surrender (and these are your words)
"I've been fighting with my feelings for year. They scare me to death!"
I surrender I don't know how to deal with feelings, etc.
Maybe this will help!
Sometimes, I even surrener that I don't know what to surrener!
Thanks for responding.