Incest Survivors Support Group

Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...

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jeanette474 07/19/2012

I posted this on the Sexual abuse site and thought I would post it here as well.
http://www.psychsight.com/ar-shame.html

deleted_user 07/19/2012

I found this really helpful. Thanks for posting it. My problem is that I can read and understand all of this stuff, but I am still stuck in shame. Actually overcoming shame feels almost impossible to me.

arbe 07/19/2012

I read it also. My family was everyone of those types. No wonder I have so little self worth and an abundance of shame. As HBE said"I understand this stuff but I am still stuck in shame" yup. It does feel impossible...pretty overwhelming when one thinks of the work involved but what else are we going to do?

deleted_user 07/19/2012

I feel like its going to take forever to get rid of all the shame. It runs so deep.

deleted_user 07/19/2012

shame, I've battled shame and still do. I think for me it comes in waves.

bluedragon41 07/19/2012

Yup...I have to reach up to tie my shoes a lot.

I hate on myself whenever I have failed. Failure=intrinsic evilness, for which I must be punished.

I wanted to be perfect. I thought if I was perfect maybe mom and dad wouldn't hate me.
Maybe mom would stop leaving me with dad. Dad was violent enough that he could have killed me, so I was terrified of him...but I still loved him too.

loum50 07/19/2012

For me, years of therapy and face to face support groups has helped. It's not as bad as it was. The self hate does come out very strong sometimes but I don't feel it all the time as long as I don't look in a mirror. When I look in a mirror I don't believe I deserve to live. That's why I don't have mirrors.

bluedragon41 07/19/2012

@ Loum (((Hugs)))

I sometimes see how much I resemble my dad in mirrors...and I feel...contaminated right down to a molecular level.

I dunno if it's exactly the same, but I guess it's similar.

deleted_user 07/19/2012

Hylie--omg! I know what you mean, I look so much like my father. Strangers alway knew we were related. Eck

loum50 07/19/2012

Thankfully, I look nothing like my father. If I did, I would not be able to tolerate it. He ridiculed me starting when I was very young about how I looked.

deleted_user 07/20/2012

thanks for this jeanette, yes i can relate to the shame it has dogged me my whole life and doesn't seem to be getting any easier to deal with...

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