I had to have breakfast with my dad who raped me 20 years ago. yuck! In weird family situation. not being attacked currently but always afraid of the next attack. it leaves me feeling really isolated and alone. I feel totally abandoned by my mom and the rest of my family. I feel like committing suicide sometimes because I feel so lonely and isolated about this. The only hope I have is that my niece and nephew will grow up never knowing the horrors of incest and family violence. But I've been alone all day. did some work, but basically isolated all day. Read some stuff on the internet, saw my cousin for a few minutes, but still feel really bad. Don't know if I should make an appt. with my therapist, but maybe I will. I feel also very angry and rage right now. This forum is the only place I have to express all of these feelings. Plus, one of my friends on ds, I haven't heard from in days. I'm afraid she committed suicide because she was extremely, extremely depressed. I feel kind of helpless about that situation and my own. I wish I could do a drawing but I don't have any subject matter right now. I like to draw fresh flowers and leaves. I'm listening to beautiful music right now so that's calming. I haven't had any 'me' time in ages. I haven't been to my support group in 2 weeks and I really miss all of them. They have had really bad days in their lives too. Sometimes it's comforting to be around people who's lives aren't perfect. I actually think I will contact my therapist again. She isn't perfect, but she's someone to talk to. Keeps me from suicide. That's a good thing.