Thanks all, yes, Layn, you are right to make those suggestions, they are sound. The thing is I shared about my abuse every time except the last time. Granted, my shares were becoming more and more about my present life instead of my past abuse. I think what is happening there is that they are making a profit. The room noway costs as much as I estimate they are bring in and they are not trained therapists. They are survivors who have taken the initiative to start the group and the only training that is required to lead under the ASCA name is reading a pdf file from their website: ASCA.org.

I think what is happening is that because they are making money, they want to keep us dependent on the group, though it may be a subconscious intention. The leaders also bear no responsibility for their actions so that adds to the likelihood for corruption to take hold.

She didn't just merely suggest that I talk about abuse every time. She basically indicated that if I break this mandatory abuse talk rule, the next time I come to group, she will call the cops, which she is entitled to do by the ASCA guidelines.

It is this kind of power-tripping, criminal activity with everyone being tight-lipped that is what gets kids into abusive situations.

Again, all your comments were valid but I did need to clarify what is happening in this weird situation.

Didn't mean to add it five times!

Didn't mean to add it five times!

Didn't mean to add it five times!

Sounds to me like a power trip. If it was just for the money why would they send you away? Do they get some sort of trip from hearing group member's abuse stories?

My own feeling is that whatever the reasons this group is not going you good so you should leave for your own sake. You should also let the organisation who run the group know why you are going in case they care (they might not).

You have to look after yourself - these people are looking after themselves, not you.

I would leave and make a formal written complaint to the head organisation. The most important thing is your well being, and that you are not traumatised by this. Its awful to know that there are support groups out there to 'use and abuse' us all over again.

Its not about the money, its about credibility, I am sorry that your not getting the support you are looking for in a group setting. Maybe look into forming a support group with others, talk to your therapist.
Sometimes all we need is to be able to share with one another, I feel. Cos everytime I share with anyone that has not experienced sexual abuse they dont understand. Not that i've shared with many others. I do hope you find a place to share and be support, aside from here.

I agree with both Layn and Breaking.

I think our issues are so hush-hush already, so shameful, that talking about them helps break the cycle of secrecy and I think it's important to talk about it. I was in a group and not permitted to talk about my abuse. I wondered why I was there, then. I mean, if I can't talk about what brought me to the group to begin with, then what good is it going to do me? I WANT to talk about it. NEED to talk about it. I believe it was anonymousse who recently posted a fabulous link about how people say to get over it or move past it, but they don't say how. In the article, she says talk about it as much as you need to. I think this is important, personally.

But I also think that if a group isn't doing you any good - isn't providing the kind of thing you need - then you should leave. If something makes you uncomfortable, listen to yourself, trust yourself and just leave.

As a friend - as someone who's struggling and sitting here with you with the absolute best of intentions - I would pose these questions, though:

Why is it so hard for you to talk about it?
What does the thought of talking about it bring up for you?
Is there someone(s) you are willing to talk to about it?

Written with utter love and appreciation and respect.

-P

Thank you for the clarification.. with all that added information, I think your choice makes a lot of sense and I hope you can find a better support group.

It makes me really sad to hear that they are doing this to you.. calling the cops on a victim of this?? Especially by others who have also been through related trauma.. I just don't get it. It especially saddens me because it seems like there are so few in person support groups out there. I live in one of the largest cities in the U.S. and there is only one that I can find... and it is the one I described. I crave some sort of interaction with people who may understand my f'ed upness (hope that term is okay) and it makes me feel so lonely to not be able to really sit down and talk.

Again, thank you for clarifying, for sharing and I think you are making a wise choice. I hope you do report their actions.. it seems like that type of behavior may really harm someone emotionally.

I have just finished training through NAMI to be a facilitator led by consumers such as someone living with a mental illness suchas PTSD, anxiety etc.. we as the facilitator are not allowed to charge $ at all and force someone to speak up but this is a different support group but I think it is possible that it contains the same method of support. Point is they should not force someone to speak and yes I aggree with one of the other replies maybe after some time fo being in the group the person could say something small about themselves. I would really look into them more and maybe report them for the forcefulness and charging.

I have been searching in my area for a support group which I have only found a therapy group which does not involve sharing which is what I NEED TO DO IS SHARE and learn form others so that being said I have thought about starting a group myself, would you say all around besides them saying you must share everything else was ok? Would this be a area for me to look at to use as a guide for starting a support group? Please let me know thanks
and rememeber if you are uncomfortable in the group and feel it is not right for you you should remove yourself from that setting. Support groups are for support .

Hi, thanks for your replies, one question was- "why would they kick you out if they want your money". It is because they would rather loose me than many others. I was growing and healing and I think it threatened this vortex of suffering that they have created. I think they want group members to never be without a need for the group.

Another question was- "why don't you want to talk about it?" I do want to talk, but in a safe place. I was getting the feeling that I had to prove that I deserved to be there every time and so on purpose or not, my last share did not include any abuse, and so I called their bluff.

Another question - "was ASCA a good model other than forcing me to share". I think everything has been tainted by the fact that they are breaking the law by profiteering from other people's suffering when they are a registered non-profit. They are liars, manipulators, and criminals. They should be thrown out with the trash.

Layn, thanks for your undersanding, along with the others. I live in a major city too and it's tough to find something. I'm in so much pain over this group. Thank God for my DS people. Why are people so much nicer here than face to face?

Another thing, I was able to contact the founder of ASCA and I told him everything and all he said he would do is to forward our communication to the "board".

Next week, I plan to go to the local free legal services office and try to sue this pile of trash. I'm also contacting the IRS.

Take care my friends, thanks for reading and commenting. I'm so lonely in the world, I can always come here and feel some warmth.