Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
My biological male parent and his brother were and still are twisted minded lunatics. I cant even remember when all this began but i'm sure I endured it most of my life, even as young as three. The two of them were always drunk, under the influence of street drugs, and both were perverts towards females. Too them i was a good bait, young, innocent, submissive; since i was his daughter, knowing that if i didn't behave i would get beat.. He took advantage of me, his young daughter for many years as well as did his brother. By the age of 13 I was no longer a virgin.
At 15 my dad got me pregnant and forced me to have an abortion and I did. After that i couldn't take anymore more and left to live on my own away from the four walls of hell. I still feel like i'm a murderer, for having killed a baby. I live with the guilt and tend to punish myself by self injury, alcohol, and at times attempted taking my own life because the pain is too much to bear. The memory of the abuse and torture taunt me and have ruined my life.
At 15 my dad got me pregnant and forced me to have an abortion and I did. After that i couldn't take anymore more and left to live on my own away from the four walls of hell. I still feel like i'm a murderer, for having killed a baby. I live with the guilt and tend to punish myself by self injury, alcohol, and at times attempted taking my own life because the pain is too much to bear. The memory of the abuse and torture taunt me and have ruined my life.
I also wanted to say that certainly your life was changed, damaged, used up, twisted. I believe however, that there is still a little flame of life there, that little girl you started as, that has not been quenched. If it had been you would not be still alive. I'm claiming the authority to tell you that you can let that flame burn. They've told you that your theirs, that it's your destiny to be used, that you are not allowed to have a life that doesn't feed them. I'm telling you that they are lying. They've had power over you which they turned on you, but they were wrong to do that. Your life is yours, being poured into you every minute that your cells function.
I'm glad you got out of there, and now you have to take care of yourself. If you need any ideas, these people on the forum know a lot. I hope you can find some local support too. Blessings.
I was also made pregnant by my father and taken for an abortion. This has been one of the hardest things for me to deal with and the desire for a return to denial over it is massive. For me it was also a turning point, not because I ran away (I considered it but wasn't brave enough) but because it was just too much. I had coped with everything else, but this I couldn't handle. I don't know exactly what happened but I think my mother actually stepped in to protect me from him (in exchange for my behaving as if nothing had happened).
I thank my baby for coming and giving her life for me. She was a brave soul, without whom the abuse would just have continued and continued.
You have nothing to be punished for. Your baby knows this.
Hugs
read your story and its heartbreaking to know that one suffers so. I believe that you will find the support you need here. I've been sexually abused and raped myself for a number of years and its a hard long journey to healing. But its well worth the journey.
I am very glad you found the strength to run away from the abuse and I hope that you find and I know you will find support, refuge and healing as you go on. Your life is not ruined -- Lots of hugs
Peace