Incest Survivors Support Group
Incest refers to any sexual activity between closely related persons that is illegal or socially taboo. Consensual adult incest is very rare. Incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. If you or a loved one is a survivor of incest, join the group...
Possible trigger:
So I came across this awhile ago and can't get it out of my mind. Attachment therapy (not to be confused with attachment parenting which is a good and healthy thing) is also called "holding time". It used to be advised to parents of children with "attachment disorders" or PTSD. After me and my sister were abused by my brother we spent a little time at a bad counselor who advised for my mother to do this with us because we were diagnosed at that time with PTSD because of the abuse. We were required to sit in her (my mothers) lap, physically restrained, forced to make eye contact, and we weren't allowed to speak, we had to just listen to her chant something to us rhythmically. We were not allowed up for any reason until the allotted time was up, which was usually 30-45 min. We weren't allowed to say no, or refuse this physical contact. If we fought, we were just restrained even more, or hit/spanked. This happened every day for years until, finally I came willingly for it knowing that it would be over faster if I could demonstrate the "attachment" they wanted to see.
When I started to read about it I began to have flashbacks about stuff that would happen during these sessions. It's been really hard to see this for what it was-an abuse of my personal space. In the most formative time after the abuse, I was taught that my "no" had no merit, and that others could do whatever they wanted to me and my body. It's no wonder I had more abusers down the road...
Has anyone heard of this or had this performed on them? It may seem silly to some who were longing for comfort from their parents, but all I can say is that this wasn't comfort, it was the exact opposite of that.
Thanks for your replies.
So I came across this awhile ago and can't get it out of my mind. Attachment therapy (not to be confused with attachment parenting which is a good and healthy thing) is also called "holding time". It used to be advised to parents of children with "attachment disorders" or PTSD. After me and my sister were abused by my brother we spent a little time at a bad counselor who advised for my mother to do this with us because we were diagnosed at that time with PTSD because of the abuse. We were required to sit in her (my mothers) lap, physically restrained, forced to make eye contact, and we weren't allowed to speak, we had to just listen to her chant something to us rhythmically. We were not allowed up for any reason until the allotted time was up, which was usually 30-45 min. We weren't allowed to say no, or refuse this physical contact. If we fought, we were just restrained even more, or hit/spanked. This happened every day for years until, finally I came willingly for it knowing that it would be over faster if I could demonstrate the "attachment" they wanted to see.
When I started to read about it I began to have flashbacks about stuff that would happen during these sessions. It's been really hard to see this for what it was-an abuse of my personal space. In the most formative time after the abuse, I was taught that my "no" had no merit, and that others could do whatever they wanted to me and my body. It's no wonder I had more abusers down the road...
Has anyone heard of this or had this performed on them? It may seem silly to some who were longing for comfort from their parents, but all I can say is that this wasn't comfort, it was the exact opposite of that.
Thanks for your replies.
Here's a site with several links to more info about this subject.
Thanks again.
It says this attachment theory came from the Quakers.It's a great job you were able to remember you had been subjected to all this.It makes me very angry at all these pseudo experts who traumatise us.
This sounds like more abuse not "therapy".
I was an attachment disorder baby.But my whole family thought i was just a spoiled brat and was just gotten angry at and ignored.
I have attachment disorders to this day.
But NOT by force.
That is nuts to think that would do anything but furthwr traumatize them.
It pains me to hear of your experiences with Holding Therapy. (Your post popped up on one of my Google searches.)
I am familiar with Attachment/Holding Therapy. I have belonged to an all-volunteer group Advocates for Children in Therapy (ACT) that has been trying to stop this practice for over ten years.
You are right to say that Attachment/Holding Therapy was an abuse of your personal space. All national mental health professional organizations considered this practice to be actual physical and emotion child abuse.
Attachment/Holding Therapy was formally condemned in 2006 by the America Professional Society on the Abuse of Children and by the American Psychological Association's Division on Child Maltreatment. These organization further recommend that child welfare workers investigate where this practice is used.
Yes, this sort of brutal treatment does not create a loving bond between parent and child. Your remark about faking it is something I've heard numerous times from survivors. Many children treated this way seem to go on to be estranged from their parents after they turn 18 years old.
Some experts do consider Attachment/Holding Therapy to be a form of sexual abuse because of the proximity imposed by the parent and/or therapist, because of the lap hold and coercive restraint, because the adults ignore the child's requests to be released, the ordering the child what to do, humiliating them, etc. Some forms of this "therapy" go one step further, with the therapist lying on top of the child and licking the child's face. These sadistic "therapists" actually believe Holding Therapy is particularly beneficial for children who have been abused sexually.
No doubt about it this is a dreadful practice. I personally consider it the worst quackery in the USA, and I believe that society failed to protect you and other children from this abuse. And alas, it sounds like you had a lot of it.
I recommend the website of ACT to learn more: http://www.childrenintherapy.org/
Attachment/Holding Therapy has been around for over 40 years, and I can't believe it hasn't been stopped yet.
I hope I don't trigger more flashbacks. I hope I am able to confirm your belief that Attachment/Holding Therapy is abusive and teaches children all sorts of bad things about themselves that are not true. No child deserves to be treated like this.
I wish you all the very best.
LindaRosaRN, I appreciate everything you said. It was very helpful! It seems so irrational that these "professionals" we're advising AT for sexually abused children. In one breath my childhood counselor was telling me to "say no" to "unwanted touch", and in the next breath she's teaching my mother how to carry these sessions out at home. How sick can you get? I definiately believe it's emotional and physical abuse. It did even have some sexual abuse undertones to me, since I was forced to listen to her talk about sexual matters that were inappropriate for a 6 year old (or any age?!?). I checked out the website. What a great resource. I have bookmarked it and will be using it for future use. Thanks for your willingness to help victims of this abuse. I appreciate everything youve said.
We need alot of deprogramming, I am sorry it came from a person that was suppose to help with the abuse. Therapist really need to get educated, and know what they are doing. We are fragile humans.
lots of hugs to you