Do you mean you found it easier to talk about it before society started talking about it in anything other than hushed voices? I'm sorry if you do because I find it so much easier if people are used to hearing the words sexual abuse. I can remember being a kid and there were reports of recovered memories with the onus being on the false nature of them. The assumption being that the child was lying and all the parent had to do was say so. It really didn't help me to believe myself or risk being open.

Unfortunately despite people talking more about it, I don't see much evidence of intolerance, vengeance or caped crusaders. I see an awful lot of people who would still rather pretend it doesn't happen or who minimise the effects.

There still seems to be an assumption that if you can't cope with everything life throws at you, no matter how bad, you must be weak. It's not that what was done was so awful it has taken all your strength to deal with it, no, it's your fault for being weak.

I think society has a lot more to learn, and they won't do that if people don't talk about incest, how prevalent it is and how harmful it is.

I am sorry that you are in pain and if this is bad for you personally, but I can't see it as anything other than a step in the right direction.

Hi I have anxiety today too. I have a therapist meeting and it always stirs up stuff.

I dont know if this is what you meant but I almost hate sympathy. It is something I have to get over. It throws in my face that I think I am weak. It is so completely opposite to what is real. People are sympathizing but they care, sometime identify, and want to share and help. See logically I know that but I have problems feeling that and if I was asked now I would tell you that isn't true... I'm working on it.

One of the ways I am working on that is being here on DS daily to remind myself that it isn't whiny for me to ask for help and it isn't people pitying me and talking down to me if they care.

I hope in a small way that helps. I am sorry for your pain

I'm usually careful who I talk to about it because I get messages of you need to just let it go or that you are too sensitive. Right now I am overwhelmed with so much accumulating in my life and I do feel weak and needy. That brings out the self hate big time.

I'm not sure if it helps, but I think it is great you are posting here to break the isolation. That's what I do. I have no one to talk to about this stuff except my therapist and husband, which makes it hard. I'm just starting this journey (in the process of remembering, lots of dissociation) and I don't have anyone in my life I would trust with this stuff. Those I tried to confide in let me down. So this board is a great place for me to find comfort among people who understand the millions of different ways this impacts us. So far, I think I have felt every emotion possible. I want to scream it from the rooftops and start teacher education progroms so that someone could notice when a five year old kid is "surviving" at home. But I am not ready to do that yet because I am terrified (not sure of what) and to be honest, insecure.

The public issue is complex. I agree with BreakingtheShell that it does need to be talked about, but people don't know how to react. Sometimes well-intended compassion comes out as pity, which makes me feel weak and less. I can relate to Plsjustlisten because I know some people probably mean well and are being very compassionate, but I have a problem feeling it. I never really know if people genuinely care. My trusting picker is broken, I guess, since I've trusted the wrong people before.

I am also afraid that people will see me as "marked" or "different" or somehow tainted by this. I have worked too hard to be normal and healthy (not realizing the whole extent of what I had to deal with) and I am afraid that being an incest victim has left me permanenly abnormal in the eyes of others. I know I shouldn't care what others think, but I guess I do.

I don't know if this helps you at all, but hopefully having all of our two cents thrown in will help you feel less isolated. I hate feeling isolated in this, especially with a burning desire to talk about it.... I hope you find the support and comfort you need. ((hugs))

Total agreement that it needs to be talked about, but I think it is the added aggression which makes me more anxious. It remains a collection of deep and infected wounds all too easily re-opened. Enthusiastic crusaders make me feel like I am being raped in my soul. Like it is about their need to be right more than my need to heal.

Ok, I think I understand your point. It is that you see these people grabbing the information from you and running off with it to use it for their own purposes, notably adding an anger that you are not comfortable with? Is it that it makes you feel disrespected, sidelined even?