Hypochondria Support Group
Hypochondria refers to excessive worry about having a serious illness. Hypochondria is often characterized by fears that minor bodily symptoms may indicate a serious illness, constant self-examination and self-diagnosis, and a preoccupation with one's body. Many individuals with hypochondriasis express doubt and disbelief in the doctors' diagnosis.
I don't know where to put this but I came here because I needed to talk about this and I can't keep burdening my girlfriend and family with this.
I am 25 years old and Ive worried about my health ever since I was a teenager, often to the point of thinking I was dying of multiple things over the years. On top of this ive dealt with depression and anxiety my whole life.
I've had symptoms for a long time that I havent gone to the doctor about because I am afraid. Mostly abdominal pain and bloating, and a general feeling of being unwell. When I have brought it up the doctor just did a quick feel and brushed it off, refused to give me a pap test even though I should have had one by my age. I stopped bringing it up because I felt as though I was bothering him.
I've had abdominal pain as long as I can remember, but lately it is bad and all over. Sometimes its my lower abdomen, sometimes my upper, and now I get sharp pains in random spots that don't feel normal. I have bloating and a firm feeling above my belly button, I feel my abdomen every day and can't feel any bumps, it just feels firm. My insides get sore when I lay on my back for too long, I don't know if this is because I'm overweight or something else.
I'm also so tired all the time. I don't go out or do anything, I just sleep all the time because I get so tired. I don't know if this is from depression and not being active or if it is really a symptom of something worse. I do small chores and have to rest a lot because I feel weak and my body hurts all over. I don't feel like I have the energy or care to take care of myself, I don't wear makeup or do my hair anymore, showering is a chore, and I just live in sweatpants. I just don't see the point of doing anything if I'm dying anyway.
My mother was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer two years ago after being dismissed by doctors for years, now she is terminal. My uncle was diagnosed with stomach cancer completely out of the blue and died 3 months later. I am so scared of cancer, it is all I can think of some days. Being told I have cancer would be one of my worst nightmares I think. I am afraid I've left my symptoms too long and now it will be too late. I want to go to the doctor and find out I don't have cancer, but I'm afraid if I go they will tell me I do. I think every day about what I would do if that happened and I don't see any hope in that situation. I couldn't leave behind my family especially my little sister who needs me, it would be awful. I don't want to die.
I know logically that I should go to the doctor but then my fear tells me that I would rather not know if I'm dying. My life feels like it is on hold right now because its being consumed by my fear and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm just sitting here waiting for death.