HPV Support Group
Human papillomavirus is a diverse group of DNA-based viruses that infect the skin and mucous membranes of humans. More than 100 different human papillomavirus (HPV) types have been characterized. Some HPV types cause benign skin warts, or papillomas, for which the virus family is named. HPVs associated with the development of such "common warts" are transmitted...
I say what follows only with great consideration and love in the hopes that it might help others struggling as I have as I wish this was what someone had said to me at the beginning.
I am a woman in my mid twenties; I contracted HPV GW from my then fianc which I discovered due to my pregnancy. If I had not fallen pregnant within the 2 year period of immune suppression of the virus I would never have known about it. Controversial as it is I feel that a lot of the information online in regards to telling partners is confusing, conflicting and wrong. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DISCLOSE THIS TO FUTURE PARTNERS. I am not saying it is morally right to not tell but its actually not morally or medically wrong . I have spoken to a near overwhelming number of medical professionals and the almost unanimous opinion is that telling is not necessary and actually undesirable. The main problem with this virus is not the physical aspect (which in most cases is not actually that bad and clears within a small number of treatments and is usually not seen again) but actually the psychological effect it has on sufferers. Having gone through this myself I feel its so important that somebody actually says this online. THIS DOES NOT HAVE TO AFFECT YOUR FUTURE ROMANTIC, SEXUAL OR FAMILY LIFE.
Lets be realistic about this almost everyone (80%) sexual active has dormant HPV and has come into contact with the strains that cause warts, in only 1% of people do symptoms ever occur. It is extremely unlikely that you will ever give a partner physical GW especially after treatment. If a partner did have an outbreak there would be no way of knowing whether it came from you as MOST PEOPLE CARRY THIS. Getting physical genital warts is more about bad luck than whether or not your partner has the virus; THE VAST MAJORITY OF THE TIME THE IMMUNE SYSTEM SUPPRESSES THE VIRUS WITHOUT ANY SYMPTOMS EVER OCCURING ACTUALLY REQUIRING THE IMMUNE SYSTEM TO BE LOW ENOUGH WITHIN THE 3 MONTH -1YEAR PERIOD AFTER CONTRACTION THAT IT CAN BECOME ACTIVE TO BECOME SYMPTOMATIC. The rest of your romantic and/or sexual life does not have to be ruined or even affected by this. Get the virus treated, stay healthy and practice safe sex, that is all that you have to do you do not have to go through the psychological torment of thinking you have to tell everyone you are ever attracted to or that youll never be able to love or frankly fuck again. Chances are unless you are having sex with underage partners anyone you date or sleep with will have already come into contact with this. Having seen a psychiatrist because of this I know IT IS PSYCHOLOGICALLY DEVESTATING BUT IT IS ACTUALLY THE COMMON COLD OF STDS AND NOT ACTUALLY THAT BAD.
The idea of disclosing is all well in theory but in practice it puts you at an unnecessary risk, being adult about this you are not going to date for months or years with no sexual contact before becoming comfortable enough to tell a partner. The risk to you is probably bigger than you thing and the risk they will be taking with you is actually minimal and it is one they are taking every time they have sex. Use condoms and avoid unprotected oral and you are doing your part to keep yourself and your partner as safe as possible. It does not make you a bad person not to tell, it makes you a sensible well balanced one. Putting yourself through more hardship relatively pointlessly is never the answer. You have to make the decision whether to be a victim or a survivor and letting this rule your future relationships is making yourself and your potential partners victims.
YOU ARE STILL THE SAME PERSON, THIS DOES NOT HAVE TO TAKE AWAY YOUR SENSUALITY OR YOUR SENSE OF SELF. YOU DESERVE HAPPINESS AND LOVE THE SAME AS EVERYONE ELSE.
I am a woman in my mid twenties; I contracted HPV GW from my then fianc which I discovered due to my pregnancy. If I had not fallen pregnant within the 2 year period of immune suppression of the virus I would never have known about it. Controversial as it is I feel that a lot of the information online in regards to telling partners is confusing, conflicting and wrong. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DISCLOSE THIS TO FUTURE PARTNERS. I am not saying it is morally right to not tell but its actually not morally or medically wrong . I have spoken to a near overwhelming number of medical professionals and the almost unanimous opinion is that telling is not necessary and actually undesirable. The main problem with this virus is not the physical aspect (which in most cases is not actually that bad and clears within a small number of treatments and is usually not seen again) but actually the psychological effect it has on sufferers. Having gone through this myself I feel its so important that somebody actually says this online. THIS DOES NOT HAVE TO AFFECT YOUR FUTURE ROMANTIC, SEXUAL OR FAMILY LIFE.
Lets be realistic about this almost everyone (80%) sexual active has dormant HPV and has come into contact with the strains that cause warts, in only 1% of people do symptoms ever occur. It is extremely unlikely that you will ever give a partner physical GW especially after treatment. If a partner did have an outbreak there would be no way of knowing whether it came from you as MOST PEOPLE CARRY THIS. Getting physical genital warts is more about bad luck than whether or not your partner has the virus; THE VAST MAJORITY OF THE TIME THE IMMUNE SYSTEM SUPPRESSES THE VIRUS WITHOUT ANY SYMPTOMS EVER OCCURING ACTUALLY REQUIRING THE IMMUNE SYSTEM TO BE LOW ENOUGH WITHIN THE 3 MONTH -1YEAR PERIOD AFTER CONTRACTION THAT IT CAN BECOME ACTIVE TO BECOME SYMPTOMATIC. The rest of your romantic and/or sexual life does not have to be ruined or even affected by this. Get the virus treated, stay healthy and practice safe sex, that is all that you have to do you do not have to go through the psychological torment of thinking you have to tell everyone you are ever attracted to or that youll never be able to love or frankly fuck again. Chances are unless you are having sex with underage partners anyone you date or sleep with will have already come into contact with this. Having seen a psychiatrist because of this I know IT IS PSYCHOLOGICALLY DEVESTATING BUT IT IS ACTUALLY THE COMMON COLD OF STDS AND NOT ACTUALLY THAT BAD.
The idea of disclosing is all well in theory but in practice it puts you at an unnecessary risk, being adult about this you are not going to date for months or years with no sexual contact before becoming comfortable enough to tell a partner. The risk to you is probably bigger than you thing and the risk they will be taking with you is actually minimal and it is one they are taking every time they have sex. Use condoms and avoid unprotected oral and you are doing your part to keep yourself and your partner as safe as possible. It does not make you a bad person not to tell, it makes you a sensible well balanced one. Putting yourself through more hardship relatively pointlessly is never the answer. You have to make the decision whether to be a victim or a survivor and letting this rule your future relationships is making yourself and your potential partners victims.
YOU ARE STILL THE SAME PERSON, THIS DOES NOT HAVE TO TAKE AWAY YOUR SENSUALITY OR YOUR SENSE OF SELF. YOU DESERVE HAPPINESS AND LOVE THE SAME AS EVERYONE ELSE.
I went to my doctor who said I would need a refferal to the gynocologist - which I was suprised by as I thought she could pescribe me something there and then. I felt I was going mad, as I had an over whelming feeling of guilt that I had this again and most of all feeling dirty. After a week - I called the sexual health clinic and explained what my doctor had said - the Nurse on the phone said firstly I do not understand why your doctor has referred you, you can be treated for this at your gp (General Practice) Im from Uk. You have nothing to worry about - GW is the type that is harmless....they only get treated for cosmetic issues. So i called my doctor explained that phone call for her response to be "Well back in my day of training - we referred paitents" She pescribed me Warticon - I need to re- start it as I still have the little gremlins there but hoping after week two they are away.
My partner has been great over the last two weeks - my only issue and worry is that I don't want to get close untill my GW are away - and I'm scared of how long this will actually take. Were planning our wedding at the moment but I feel this is the first and last thing I think of everyday - when it should not be - I agree with what you have said it has more of a Pyslogical affect the most. Reading the internet makes you worse as I do not feel it has the most correct information.
Thanks again for your post!! :-)
Also it's great that your partner is being supportive and I'm sorry you are struggling just now. Can I ask if the not having sex with the warts is because how you feel about them or your fear of passing them on. After four years your partner has this and you will have most likely had sex with them present just before you actually noticed them again. There is also little evidence to suggest that the risk is much greater to your partner with lesions present especially if you have been together long enough for his immune system to suppress it. A sexual health clinic will tell you there is no need to stop relations with a long term partner as long as you ensure its not interfearing with treatment.
Its absolutely a personal choice but if you feel you need that intimacy with your partner then this shouldn't actually hold you back and it might help with your feelings towards the HPV and yourself just now. Obviously if the warts are around the vaginal entrance and you're sore or you simply don't want to there is no need to, but if you're scared of putting your partner off trust me it's really not going to happen.
Wishing you all the best with your warticon treatment and more importantly your wedding. xx
I know the nurse from the clinic said the exact same he'll have it now too- he suffers from. ( prob spelt it wrong) and I read up on that - ppl with that have an over active immune system. I can't due to treatment but I also feel yuck and dirty!! :-( there just at the entrance and also I think some are acute just inside as when applying cream I could feel lumps - unsure if normal or not??
Thanks for the post back its good to speak to some one else who has suffered.
Are u on treatment at the moment??
Your right in the sense not to get down about it -I agree could be worse. Just yuck though! Xxx
As for your stance on telling I respect that and applaud you on standing by your own personal moral principles. I hope that you have found a way to make disclosure a method of empowerment for yourself and I'm glad you had a good response from your bf. xx
You have done absolutely nothing wrong, this man is a foul creature and mark my words lying that you are well rid of and sweetie you deserve to be able to live and enjoy your life. You really need to ease up on yourself and I wish you all the best. xx
I see people say have protected sex and avoid unprotected oral sex. So if I have sex with a condom I do not have to tell the girl, but if an hour later she wants to give me a blowjob without a condom I should tell her? If I am not contagious, then what difference will the condom make to my partner? Probably half of my warts were outside of where a condom would cover. So what good would a condom do then? According to my doctor he is seeing more cases like this where warts appeared outside of a condom. It seems unlikely that I would use condoms all the time if I am involved in a commited monogamous relationship with someone.
I am not trying to be agrumentative with everyone here I am just posing a few questions that do not seem considered. Personally I think you should tell someone, especially if you are considering a serious relationship with them. To me that is a no brainer. You have the talk and lay all of your cards on the table and tell them what you bring to the relationship good, bad, or otherwise. To me the harder quesion is should you tell someone if you are having casual sex or a non committed relationship. So many things, and viewpoints, to consider and none of them seem very black or white.