HPV Support Group
Human papillomavirus is a diverse group of DNA-based viruses that infect the skin and mucous membranes of humans. More than 100 different human papillomavirus (HPV) types have been characterized. Some HPV types cause benign skin warts, or papillomas, for which the virus family is named. HPVs associated with the development of such "common warts" are transmitted...
I just recently had a guy go down on me. Can HPV be transmitted through oral sex? I'm freaking out I feel so horrible my anxiety is high I want to shut down I feel so dumb for letting it go that far.
I proceed with the belief that I am ALWAYS potentially contagious since I have been infected HPV and HPV is FOREVER. HPV is always in your body either active or dormant and there is no way to determine the precise moment in time when it changes from dormant to active.
I think anyone that knows they has any strain of HPV has the responsibility to tell ALL potential intimate partners that they have HPV. HPV is contagious and the outcome can be devastating - physically, emotionally, and financially. I would not want to ever risk inflicting the damage that I have had with HPV onto anyone else. I think people have the undeniable right to know whether or not you have HPV BEFORE they make the decision to be intimate with you. Dont you wish someone told YOU that they had HPV before they gave it to you?
You may have been told on a specific day in April that you were "dormant" meaning you didnt test positive for active HPV infection at that specific moment in time BUT the HPV virus is FOREVER in your body and HPV can reactivate at any time. It is NOT possible to know the precise moment that you become active again. You cannot know or predict when you go from dormant to active. THERE IS NO WAY TO DETERMINE THE MOMENT IN TIME YOU CHANGE FROM DORMANT TO ACTIVE SO EVERYONE YOU HAVE SKIN TO SKIN CONTACT WITH IS AT RISK OF GETTING HPV FROM YOU!
I would not want to jeopardize the health and well-being (emotional, physical, and financial well-being) of anyone. My personal belief is that it is my duty and undeniable responsibility to tell ALL potential partners that I have HPV and educate them on the genuine risks of HPV.
HPV has real risks and significant consequences and if you disregard this fact and the person finds out later that you intentionally withheld this truly critical information and infected them with HPV, I would expect there would be an extremely negative outcome. I would NOT want to be in a relationship with someone that engaged in deception from the very beginning and had complete disregard for my safety, health, and well-being.
This is why HPV is so prevalent, people dont have all the correct information and they end up passing HPV on to others.
Now that you know the facts you can explain the facts to other potential partners, including the genuine risks and consequences of being exposed to HPV. They need to understand that HPV IS FOREVER and having HPV can result in having severe emotional, physical, and financial damage to your life.
If I were you, I would explain to the guy you were with that you were told that your HPV was "dormant" in April and you didnt have all the facts at the time you were with him but now you know that even when HPV is considered dormant there is still the possibility of passing it on to intimate partners because there is no way to know or determine the specific moment in time you go from inactive to active. It is indeterminable - you cant know the precise moment in time you go from inactive to active. You didnt know that HPV can be transmitted via oral sex. You didnt know HPV is transmitted via skin to skin contact and HPV can be present in the skin cells of the entire genital area, inside and outside of the body so condoms do not prevent the spread of HPV.
Give him the facts, you did not intentionally set out to harm him, you just didnt have the facts you needed to realize that he needed to know BEFORE he was intimate with you.
You cannot change the unchangeable. What is done is done. Now that you know the facts you can and hopefully will make a better decision in the future. You need to forgive yourself, EVERYONE makes mistakes, EVERYONE fucks up from time to time. You know better now so you will do better now.
You could "dormant" or inactive at 9:00 pm and active at 10:00 pm. There is no way to know when you go from inactive to active since there are not always symptoms that you feel or signs that you see. I did not know I had HPV. I had zero symptoms and nothing visible, I had no symptoms at - NONE. I have BOTH kinds of HPV the low risk strains that cause warts AND the high risk strains that are linked with cancer and I had NO SYMPTOMS WHATSOEVER. Since there is no way to know the exact status in the precise moment it is safe to assume you are always contagious with HPV.
Here is something you may not have thought about ....Since there is NO test for men, the guy you were with may have ALREADY had HPV before he even touched you! A reason why HPV is so prevalent is because men dont know they have HPV and pass it on to women. The guy you were with could have already had HPV without knowing it or maybe he doesnt know the facts of HPV and he didnt realize he was potentially contagious to others.
My current boyfriend has genital warts and didnt even know he had them until I noticed one that was tiny - the size of a lentil - and I dragged him to the doctor.
Some men think they had the vaccine and they are "safe", not true, Some men think condoms will protect them, not true. Some men think you cant get HPV from giving or receiving oral sex, not true. Some men think HPV only gives women cancer and not men, not true. Some men think HPV warts are easily noticeable so if they dont notice them, they dont have them - not true. Some men think that just because their last girlfriend had HPV it doesnt mean they dont have it, not true.
You're 24 years old, I am turning 52 years old in September. I work with young women your age and they do NOT know the facts of HPV so forgive yourself and take action.
STRESS WEAKENS YOUR IMMUNITY AND YOU WANT A STRONG HEALTHY IMMUNITY TO FIGHT THE HPV BATTLE. I think you need to focus your energy and effort on things you can do. Eliminate alcohol and smoking, exercise 150 minutes a week, get sufficient sleep, eat a healthy diet, drink plenty of water, reduce sugar as much as possible, stay away from processed foods as much as possible, engage in FUN activities to reduce stress. Strengthening your immunity and healthy living should be your top priority now.
Relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, care, and concern for each other. I personally think waiting to tell him is going to make it more difficult. I personally think when you know better, you are expected to do better so every day you withhold critical information can be seen as a betrayal.
If it were the other way around, wouldnt you want to know sooner rather than later? If he KNEW he had HPV and he made the choice to have intimate contact with you, wouldnt YOU want to know right away?
Why drag out the anxiety? I would just want to get it over with. I dont want you to think I am being mean to you BUT I just want to warn you that it may not have a pleasant outcome. He might be pissed at you and walk away so you need to be emotionally prepared for that response.