I was just about to ask the same question, hopefully people who have had experience with this will share how they go about it. How do you even bring the topic up? I've just recently met someone and I am very hesitant to go forward... Hope people answer your question!

I was actually wondering about this myself. I have severe anxiety about dating and how to approach the subject. I just keep people away so that I don't have to deal with the situation. I have high risk and don't know how accepting people would be of the situation.

I was just diagnosed the 2 days ago. It turns out I have 1 friend who has it. I asked her this exact question. She told me you tell people you want to take it slow at first. Once you finally get to that date where you think you might do it you tell them that you have it. You basically than layout all the facts. 1 in 3 people have. Then men carry it and actually doesn't do anything to them. They either need to wear a condom or get the shot (the shot only protects from 4 strains though). It's up to them. It is possible to have a normal dating life. My friend is now engaged to be married.

I've been struggling with this myself. I am only 26 years old and it has been really hard for me to accept myself, let alone expect someone to accept me. I have known for over a year now that I do have it and sometimes I don't think about it, then when I start to like a guy or think about dating someone I totally break down. I am sure I am not helping you at all, but I needed to vent on this situation as well and you just happened to bring it up before me... Everyone tells me that it's "not a big deal", but to me it is. The best thing someone told me was that if the guy cannot accept you for who you are as a person, then he isn't worth it because HPV doesn't define who WE are as a person! Easy for them to say right? I have met someone now and things may get more serious, just struggling with how to approach the situation.... It's an awful feeling to feel less of a person because of it :(

First let me say everyone on this blog is amazing to me, I've always wanted to speak out on HPV but my family members & friends who have it dont want me to, guess cuz of the scare of people pushing you away, i learned that i was diagnosied with gental warts last year, i know you can get it from having sexual intercourse, even with a condom, if the person carrys it on the pelvic or ect., also you could have it in ur immune system for so long & all of a suddon it can appear, but to my knowlege & when ive gotten tested it always said i didnt have anything till one day a very close friend of mines told me she used my scruber, & then eventually told me she had it, & of course i didnt know of her using it, so i used it in my genetal areas, as i always did, until one day i have a bump like show up on the top of my viginal & my anal area started itching very badly, well 4 yrs later i find out what was causing all my itching not my hemroids but warts that spreaded from my vigina area to my anal, so its said my doctors, i have so much anger left towards her everytime im in pain, have had 6 treatments for my viginal area, & had in may the ones on my anal cut off, and that was no fun, & here on the 27th i have to go again, sometime i think man i wish i could be one of them people who can say im 21 & STD free, but for someones stupid non hygen ways I have to live with something for the rest of my life, I've come to cope with it, & learn to forgive, but i can say it feels good right now as i write to type this semi short story of how I came about getting HPV, also when i read these storys I cried cuz being in a relationship & telling them that u have it is the hardest thing to do, my fiance is locked up & didnt want him thinking i cheated on him, but gladly when the sepmtoms started i wrote him about it (this was 2 yrs ago), & the day i told him i broke down crying & he looked at me told me to look at him & he didnt say what every man would say, he said that's all, i was shocked, cuz he's std free, & for him welling to be with me after i just told him what i have made me love him even more, but it always stays in the back of my head the day we do have sexual intercourse, ill be too scared to give him something i dont want myself, but gladly well be getting married in nov. and we've been together for 4 yrs and 6 months already! there always a happy ending even living with HPV!

Crap crap crap crap crap :/

Crap crap crap crap crap :/
How would you know if you have it in your pelves area?

oh you'll you, especially if you never had anything there to begin with, the itch will be unbarable! well at least to me it was when it first poped out in the top of my vigina they still have a soft surface but as u rub over it it'll start itching, dk if everyones diffrent but thats how my looked and started getting ruff after i would itch at it

Hey ladies,

It's been a while since I made a post but I just want to let you know that it is possible to date with HPV and have a man accept us for our minor flaws. I want to reinforce the fact that HPV is not forever. Now how you take that is up to you, whether it means the virus is not forever, or that the outbreaks are not forever.

I started dating a guy almost 3 months ago now and it has been the most rewarding relationship I have ever been in. I was engaged 3 years ago and I took the break up very hard. I also believe he is the one who transmitted the HPV to me, but I can't point any fingers. But I didn't realize how horrible of a relationship that was until met this new guy. He knew from day 1 that I had HPV because I don't believe in hiding anything. It will only cause more hurt in the end. You find yourself making excuses for why you can't be with this person anymore because you can't bring yourself to tell them your 'deep, dark secret'. Which, by the way, it's not. There are more people with STDs than you would imagine. THEY DO NOT DEFINE WHO WE ARE, and thats why the whole world doesn't know that they have them.

But back on topic here, my current boyfriend finds me very attractive and he has inquired about the risks of being with someone with HPV (genital warts). His doctor has told him that if there are no warts present at the time of intercourse that the risk of tranferrence is much lower, but to always use protection. We haven't had sex yet, but that has been my choice. I would like to be clear for a while first. Unfortunately, I have had recurring outbreaks since May, still fighting to stay clear, but I just started a new vitamin regimen, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the day will come soon.

As for bringing up this topic, I would make sure you can trust the person of interest before you tell them. Get to know them, ask them to reveal something about themselves that no one else might know. That might make it easier for you to tell them about yourself. Just remember that it doesn't define who you are, and it doesn't make you any less desirable of a person.

june87- I have to say that the response you gave was the most uplifting and supportive I've heard regarding this topic.

Since I first posted this discussion I told the person I am seeing. I may have not have gone about it the best way...nearly a bottle of chardonnay later. yet the truth came out. And much to my suprise the person did not immediately throw me out on my bum. They were very supportive, did research, and we have not had sex yet either because I really want to make sure this person makes the best choice for themselves. much to my suprise things have not really changed between us and I guess you can say the relationship seems pretty NORMAL...whatever that means. So definately for those of you who have not had to have the conversation/have pushed away people because you were too afraid to say anything(been there myself) just know that if someone really cares for you it won't matter and theres no reason to punish yourself and lead a lonely existence because of some stupid affliction. Much love to you all. thank you for the support.

Or you can be like my dumb ass and be stuck in a relationship with a person that you haven't told yet. Oh yay me!!! crap!. Well I haven't had an outbreak since for ever, but I'm still scared shitless.. this wasn't suppose to happen. Crap. If only I was more informed before this happened. Stupid Dr's.

SekCLos--As for the itching--retrospectively I can remember the horrid itching in my groin area. I had no idea that was what was going on. When I have little bouts here and there of itching it is immediately what I think about. I have had 4 kids so I attributed any itching "back there" previously to hemorrhoids but now that makes me paranoid too (I was not a person who had anal sex but hell who knows what is going on).

My advice for disclosure: I think you should go ahead and tell them because the anxiety you are creating for yourself if not good. I suppose if you could tell them you just found out which would be better than not telling them at all. Be prepared because they may be upset. I would look at it this way--if it is meant to be then things will work out. Otherwise you have a situation where you are waiting for a bomb to go off (at least that is how it feels). Regardless- take care of yourself.

June87 and a26m THANK YOU!!! I'm a single 32yr old woman and was diagnosed a couple of weeks ago with hpv, high risk, with a wart on my cervix (ugh- that feels gross just typing it haha) and I've been scouring the internet to read something that would give me some hope of finding a boyfriend some day. To hear real stories about how real people have experienced "the conversation" was very comforting and I think I'll finally get that full 8 hours of sleep! And someday a boyfriend!!! :)

im really glad i found this forum. i was told i had hpv at the beginning of the summer and ever since have been trying to get rid of the warts. i have ulcerative colitis and the medicine im on kills my immune system basically since its an autoimmune disease. dr told me he didnt know if id ever get rid of the warts. aldara has helped a little but they are still there (small though). i just feel like i can't have a normal life, i havent told anyone besides my immediate family. im 22 and ive basically been keeping away from any type of dating or even social life because i dont want it to come to having to tell someone. except now i met someone and i dont know how to handle this.

Iam posting this forum from Dr. Handfield....I'm sure some of you have seen this but if not this may help some of your questions, especially question 6.

http://www.hpvforum.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=584

Hope this helps.