HOPEFUL HEARTS...LIVING AGAIN AFTER THE LOSS Community Group
We are a group of people who have grieved the loss of a spouse, partner, or lover and are searching for a life without our mate. Some looking for their own identity as an individual or finding a life for themself. Some looking for companionship or a serious relationship with someone new. And some just feeling lost and unsure. We offer encouragement, support and virtual...
He spent a week here. We really only had one date alone. Breakfast. But we spent ALOT of time together. He's asked me on a second date. Vegas for Valentines weekend. I assure you he is not after sex or marriage. I've told him I want to go. He's paying for the whole trip. I offered to pay for my part. He said no.
Anyway, you only live once, right?
If this guy wanted to take me to an expensive restaraunt, I would say yes.
I want to get to know him better but, geez, that's an expensive date. Fly here from Germany, fly us to Vegas. Three shows.... Hotel rooms, meals.
I've been to Vegas twice. Had a good time. (I'm not a gambler.)
I guess what concerns me is that we are dating, I've told him to put the brakes on more than once. He does. Then I like him again and get comfortable. But, (drum roll please) what if it doesn't work out and he has spent all this money. (I hate what ifs and can't believe I'm going there.)
Is it living for him too?
Am I being unfair?
I enjoy get aways. I do believe you can't take your money with you and we should enjoy ourselves. Thought I would get some input here. This guy is really romantic and thoughtful.
A couple more important points.
1. My 14 yr old daughter likes him.
2. I'm a grown woman who is single and SHOULDN'T feel guilty for dating.
Anyway, you only live once, right?
If this guy wanted to take me to an expensive restaraunt, I would say yes.
I want to get to know him better but, geez, that's an expensive date. Fly here from Germany, fly us to Vegas. Three shows.... Hotel rooms, meals.
I've been to Vegas twice. Had a good time. (I'm not a gambler.)
I guess what concerns me is that we are dating, I've told him to put the brakes on more than once. He does. Then I like him again and get comfortable. But, (drum roll please) what if it doesn't work out and he has spent all this money. (I hate what ifs and can't believe I'm going there.)
Is it living for him too?
Am I being unfair?
I enjoy get aways. I do believe you can't take your money with you and we should enjoy ourselves. Thought I would get some input here. This guy is really romantic and thoughtful.
A couple more important points.
1. My 14 yr old daughter likes him.
2. I'm a grown woman who is single and SHOULDN'T feel guilty for dating.
for the sake of others, and the site's objective let's "agree to disagree" and move on. I will ignore your posts and you can do the same, ignore mine.
Best of luck to you.
Please take inventory of yourself........it seems like you love the idea of being in a relationship. I felt that way shortly after my husband passed (4/1/13). I went to a few grievance groups and read many books about grief. When I really took a look at myself and seriously thought about a new relationship, I couldn't imagine someone else filling his shoes. As it turns out, I a still learning about me and who I am and what I want. Give yourself time. If you really feel comfortable going away with him, then go! It tells me that you have a little hesitation or second thoughts if you're posting it here. If you go, please be careful. Do enjoy yourself and take care of you!
I journal daily and read back on my entries. Hopefully, the counselor can help even more. :)
Mike and I had date nights once a week and because of that I was very hesitant to date. I associated with marriage. But, the reality is that we had date nights to add fun to our marriage and improve it. It was about fun then, too.
I will probably get more and more nervous as the date approaches. I will be safe with him. I know that.
Thank you again! And thank you to everyone else for your thoughts and comments.
This is a crazy situation. Normal circumstances would give me pause. This?