This is all your OCD. If you didn't like girls before, you aren't going to now! Those "physical responses" are probably what you'll see being called "groinal responses" and are a result of anxiety. I'm a girl too, and I know how stressful this all can be!! I've been dealing with this since September, and have been going up and down on how much this all affects me. Definitely try to stay busy and not to overanalyze your thoughts. Don't look into your past trying to find "proof" that you're a lesbian. because chances are you will re-attribute and scrutinize things that do not apply.

Are you seeing anyone like a psychologist? It really is a tremendous help! Going on meds also reduces the anxiety and makes things a whole lot easier! PM me if you have any questionssss!

I know what you mean when you want clarity, its the feeling when this comes over you your judgement is clouded and the feelings and impulsaive thoughts are colliding together with your mind fighting them. I'm finding HOCD with myself and other peoples stories all have the same trend, it knocks the spirit out of you making you feel depressed and not wanting to do or like the things you previously liked.

It is a vicious thing OCD in any form and will lead you to believe anything imaginable even though deep down its not what you want otherwise our bodies wouldn't be reacting in the way of anxiety etc. Yes talking to people who are actually gay/lesbian that have recently come out etc isn't a good thing to do, not all but some will fill your head with nonsense and the HOCD will store this in your mind and fuel it to make everything 10 times worse.

I've had to repeat it to myself during spike peroids but the bottom line is if someone is gay or even bisexual and don't want to come out to anyone or in the first stage of coming out they will still have engaged in either sexual contact with the same sex or enjoyed same sex self pleasure etc with no form of anxiety or telling yourself no this is wrong why is this thought there go away horrible image etc.

Saying it or writing this form of thought out starts to drill the message home into your brain and obviously it wont sink in HOCD never does let it sink in straight away.

In my opinion if you were gay/lesbian you wouldn't have signed up to this group and wouldn't be displaying the same signs as everybody else and suffering the same feelings as everyone else.

Hope this helps, try and read up on HOCD there is a lot interesting things and a lot can start to help put your mind at rest

it just.. this all really sucks because yesterday my friend introduced me to this amazing guy that in any other circumstance I might find myself liking but I can't even get myself to like him- or any guy! Because my OCD takes my sex drive away and now the only thing I can think about is 'do i like this girl?' or 'do I think this girl is pretty?' and I don't want to do this anymore! I really just want it all to go away. it feels so real- it really does feel like I'm gay! I hate it :/

does it feel real to you guys also? like you actually are gay and need to admit it to yourself?

Its totally like that for me too sometimes!! Its so scary. I think the fact that so many of us have these symptoms is a sign that it is truly OCD. I hate it though so much. If we were gay though, we would have known by now. You always knew you were straight, right? There was no room for doubt until these irrational thoughts came up. We just have to remember that!

Exactly true it does feel real to us guys as well as girls thats what i'm finding with HOCD and any other OCD for that matter it makes our fears feel real. HOCD is the most recent form of OCD i've been suffering with and by the worst because i know it's my worst fear, before this kicked in a few months ago i know for a fact i was the biggest homophobe around, i couldn't stand it if i saw it on television or anywhere it made me feel sick, no offence to anyone gay but it was just my true feelings i didn't like it one bit, i couldn't even be in the presence of anyone gay without feeling extremley uncomfortable, even if they weren't acting gay or even talking to me. Thats how i'm coming to terms with knowing it's HOCD and the truth, you have to pick out the fine lines between them and know where you stand with them even though the HOCD tries to tell you otherwise because guess what thats what it does best!

I have had this before! My attraction to men seems to dissipate...my brain gets so wrapped up in "what if I'm gay? I must be gay..." etc, that I can't find myself even giving men attention. And then when a guy walks past me that I would normally find incredibly attractive and I am so wrapped up in my head that I do not notice him, it makes it worse. Also, DisneyDiva, I have not heard of groinal responses before, but this has happened to me! I'm so glad there is something related to that, because I DO have them sometimes, but they are not similar in any way to sexual groinal responses I may have in relation to men. I have had this before watching a frightening movie that genuinely disturbed me, and when I had a sort of "groinal" response to it I briefly freaked out thinking I was sexually aroused by violence (luckily, I was able to shrug that off!).

Hey, i completely sympathise with you. I have 'spikes' where I completely go off men and wonder if this is all a big lie and i really do love women. I think half me is so sick to death of this that it would just be easier to come out as lesbian but i feel phisically disgusted by the idea.

i want a strong sexy husband and a little baby and i just want to be happy. i'm not seeing anyone or talking to anyone so maybe the people on here should all pull together and help eachother.

I have been dealing with HOCD (or i hope) for 2 years now and i find i can see where mine started- it was when all my mates started asking if i was a lesbian. I thourght- oh my gosh what if i am!- but it turned out it was just a stupid rumour. I now hate all them people because they have made me this way and it really does go to show even minor bulling has major affects.

I would love to be free of this illness. Sometimes i am so happy and i feel like there is a light at the end of the tunel but other times i'm not even close. i find the best thing to do is to stay busy and not think about. If OCD says something just tell him to shut up and forget about it. Think- i am going to enjoy life because this will drag you down if you let it.

Good luck- e-mail me sometime! we could be help to each other.x

I'm so confused. My life is in shambles. I get aroused by watching porn of women, I was with my ex the other day and had some sexual desires to act upon. Yet, when I am around guys, I get extremely uncomfortable and am overanalyzing everything. I just went to a party and the whole time I felt this..burning or at least sensation at the top of my #*%@ and it's so frustrating it totally distracts me from my conversation with other guys I feel no confidence I feel they think I am gay, I feel girs feel i am gay, my self confidence is totally down I take any negative comments as being attacked for being gay, I actually get aroused and love sex with women but my sex drive is at the bottom and I'm always in a state of anxiety. These groinal responses happen when I think stupid thoughts about if I am attracted, and I no longer know if what I say is gay or straight or what. I feel everyone knows. I hate the anxiety. If I were attracted to men I'd just do that, live a gay lifestyle where I can get what I need and not hang with girls and lots of straight guys who I feel I'll never get close with because I'm hung up on this disorder! Does anyone else feel this tingling or sensation in their groin when around guys? I swear I've been attracted to girls before and now I'm thinking it is *spike* *Spike* <------------------------------------ sexual frustration for not acting upon these thoughts. I almost feel like just getting off to get the sensation to go away. It is just so much anxiety and that's just a release it seems. I hate this. I'll never be able to act normal again.

Im a 15 year old guy and back in year 7 I had this massive crush on this girl, like i mean obbsessed. i had a crush on her since like year 3. She liked me for a bit until i got too... i dunno, creepy i guess. Anyway she started ignoring me and i kept on trying until i asked her out and she straight out rejected me. We had this massive fight and i made a huge fool of myself. When she rejected me i think that just screwed up my self confidence. also i've always been really awkward around girls, i couldn't keep a conversation going, i would say stupid things and i would pretty much sweat it if i had to keep a conversation going. Anyway when i finaaly KIND OF got over her i started going for other chicks. When i like a girl i aways become obssesive i dont know why. Now im over her and ive always liked girls before this. But i always had that "I love girls sexually but i think im gay" kind of thing but then i obviously wasn't. Anyway i suddenly lost my attraction to girls completely. Like, I woke up one morning and didn't like girls sexually. I keep thinking oh your gay for sure and i am not really attracted to girls because i dont think of them sexually anymore. THen i started trying to think about guys and stuff to see if i got turned on i get that groinal response and it makes me feel sick but i get a tingling kind of feeling there. I don't want to be gay at all no offence to anyone. But yea everyone on these forums say its only when their HOCD spikes but mines kinda all the time and i feel sick about it all the time. I sometimes get really depressed about it and nearly cry and want to hit things. Have I lost my attraction to girls permanently and am I gay? Or is it HOCD?

Im a 15 year old guy and back in year 7 I had this massive crush on this girl, like i mean obbsessed. i had a crush on her since like year 3. She liked me for a bit until i got too... i dunno, creepy i guess. Anyway she started ignoring me and i kept on trying until i asked her out and she straight out rejected me. We had this massive fight and i made a huge fool of myself. When she rejected me i think that just screwed up my self confidence. also i've always been really awkward around girls, i couldn't keep a conversation going, i would say stupid things and i would pretty much sweat it if i had to keep a conversation going. Anyway when i finaaly KIND OF got over her i started going for other chicks. When i like a girl i aways become obssesive i dont know why. Now im over her and ive always liked girls before this. But i always had that "I love girls sexually but i think im gay" kind of thing but then i obviously wasn't. Anyway i suddenly lost my attraction to girls completely. Like, I woke up one morning and didn't like girls sexually. I keep thinking oh your gay for sure and i am not really attracted to girls because i dont think of them sexually anymore. THen i started trying to think about guys and stuff to see if i got turned on i get that groinal response and it makes me feel sick but i get a tingling kind of feeling there. I don't want to be gay at all no offence to anyone. But yea everyone on these forums say its only when their HOCD spikes but mines kinda all the time and i feel sick about it all the time. I sometimes get really depressed about it and nearly cry and want to hit things. Have I lost my attraction to girls permanently and am I gay? Or is it HOCD?

Im a 15 year old guy and back in year 7 I had this massive crush on this girl, like i mean obbsessed. i had a crush on her since like year 3. She liked me for a bit until i got too... i dunno, creepy i guess. Anyway she started ignoring me and i kept on trying until i asked her out and she straight out rejected me. We had this massive fight and i made a huge fool of myself. When she rejected me i think that just screwed up my self confidence. also i've always been really awkward around girls, i couldn't keep a conversation going, i would say stupid things and i would pretty much sweat it if i had to keep a conversation going. Anyway when i finaaly KIND OF got over her i started going for other chicks. When i like a girl i aways become obssesive i dont know why. Now im over her and ive always liked girls before this. But i always had that "I love girls sexually but i think im gay" kind of thing but then i obviously wasn't. Anyway i suddenly lost my attraction to girls completely. Like, I woke up one morning and didn't like girls sexually. I keep thinking oh your gay for sure and i am not really attracted to girls because i dont think of them sexually anymore. THen i started trying to think about guys and stuff to see if i got turned on i get that groinal response and it makes me feel sick but i get a tingling kind of feeling there. I don't want to be gay at all no offence to anyone. But yea everyone on these forums say its only when their HOCD spikes but mines kinda all the time and i feel sick about it all the time. I sometimes get really depressed about it and nearly cry and want to hit things. Have I lost my attraction to girls permanently and am I gay? Or is it HOCD?

I get this too during anxiety spikes. Being terrified seems like a pretty routine way to block sexual receptors!

@branstark97, you need to come to terms with the fact that there is no fix-all solution to our problems. There isn't a test you can take that can tell you your sexuality. As a label, sexuality seems to me to be a pretty dangerous construct. Also, deciding you have HOCD doesn't disqualify you from being gay, in the same way that not being attracted to women doesn't disqualify you from being straight. Just try and relax, mate. Checking behaviour is always a bad idea when you're feeling anxious about something. Hope this doesn't come across condescending.

I'm a 17 year old male about to be 18 in two days and since late October/early November, I've had these conflicting thoughts telling me I'm homosexual. In late October, the girl I was dating long distance in Texas broke up with me because she wanted a purely sexual relationship and I'm still a virgin. Ever since then, I suddenly noticed my attraction to females had diminished and my desire for a girlfriend went straight out the window like nobody's business.

I'm about to enter college and I've suffered from anxiety issues most of my life and I just recently got off my medication in a failed attempt to join the military. These thoughts I'm experiencing are intrusive, disturbing and sickening that range from mental images that makes me throw up to something as simple as telling me that my lack of attraction to females is because of the fact I'm secretly gay when I've never gotten turned on by men, emotionally or physically before in my life. I've also noticed that I'm now constantly checking myself to see if men turn me on which they continue to not.

Making the anxiety worse is the fact that I was constantly bullied in school because I'm a nerd, I'm rather big for my age and my voice still hasn't broken so people have called me everything from a nerd to faggot and queer. To them, the way I talk and act is reminiscent of the exaggerated way most homosexuals act, no offense to them. My grandmother also has a bit of a short temper and amongst her favorite things to call me when I screw something up or piss her off is diva, queer and little princess, the latter of which makes me furious as I think about it.

I've been attracted to females my entire life and since graduating from high school in May of this year, I've essentially spent all my time inside my house doing what most normal males do in their spare time if you get my drift. When I do that, the paranoia and anxiety and fear tends to go away only to resurface in a few minutes time. I would appreciate anyone's help with this because I'm truly suffering here and its making me feel like I'm going nuts.

I was never a homophobe. Ive always been a big supporter of the lgbt community and their wishes for equal rights. Ive always said " theres nothing wrong with being gay.
Its not my deal,but for other people i have no problem with it - who am i to judge" so why am i so afraid of becoming one?