Well ceci, I'm not sure. I just might be faced with the exact same situation. I have already told my sister of my current situation and when I did so I also informed her of the risk factors or lack there of for general contact. People are more educated these days. If you know your family or certain memebers have a good ability of understanding or at least the skills to listen then having that support would be worth it. If they are normally hypocritical then I might only tell my dearest friends if I were in your situation.

I was diagnosed in Oct of last year and I think if someone needs to know, you tell them and otherwise not....Red Oct

One day at a time one step at a time I didnt Tell my kids till they where older alot of people didnt agree with me but didnt want them to worrie my family are good with it 14 years now most my friends know and it working out well true friend will be there no matter what hope this help
God Bless you
Rick

Hi we have similar circumstances. I have 3 kids and have only told my eldest daughter who is in her late 20s I knew the time was right but I have not told my sons as yet. I will know when the time is right and so will you. Get used to it yourself first. If you ever need to chat I will be here for you. It gets easier I promise. By the way I am 10 years positive and living a very happy healthy life at the moment. Take care. xxx

Well the first thing is get used to it yourself. I'm working on it I have had it for seven months now and I have not told my immediate family and friends yet. Except for about two friends that are really close. they are starting to accept it. i would recommend that you go to consoling and prepare seeking mental help from a professinal is wonderful. Just give yourself some time.

First of all don't jump to conclusions. It will take a while for you to process everything in your mind as well. You will know who and when to tell. My children do not not know and I have been HIV since Sept , 2008. All they know is I am going through treatment for something, but haven't told them exactly what. I am healthy, so it is not necessary to burden them with the worry. My brother knows and a few close friends. It is up to you who you choose to tell and when or if. Unless you are going to have intimate relations with someone, it is not necessary to tell anyone. It is your personal business. Concentrate on keeping yourself healthy. It's not the end of the world.

Thank you all for the advice, I think my kids are still to small to understand, my eldest is 11 and the youngest is 8. My husband who I just can't seem to forgive right now is the one that past this on to me. He decided to cheat on me, and the present that was given to him was HIV. he's had it for 3 years and recently just found out he in the AIDS stage, when I found out he cheated we stopped having sex. could you imagine 3 years of abstinence and yet finding out this year that he still passed it on to me. I feel very upset with him, right now it just feels like my world is ending, I try and be strong for my kids, but inside I'm just so depressed, angry, and feel betrayed by life. I have sought counsling, and on antidepressents because I don't even know what sleep is anymore.

I don't know when you should tell your family that you are HIV positive. My choice was taking away from me when my older sister who hates me decide to look in my medical records and tell everybody that she know that I have AIDS which I don't. Yes, I'm HIV Positive but I have not reach the AIDS stage. To make matters worst I think my other sister died because she was so worry about me. I the stress and her not being able to come right out and ask me what was going on with me, without telling on our sister. The sad part about it is that if I get sick I can't go to any hospital in the city where I leave because there is always somebody who know or have work with my mother and sister. So that is my hell how do you get treated when you can't go to any of the doctors and hospitals the city were you stay.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation, that really sucks that you couldn't tell your family on your terms, or that you can't go to a hospital in your hometown. Have you tried talking to anyone in your family and asking what your sister told them? I just feel like I would be alienated from family functions or treated differently if my family was to know. All I know is that there are alot of great people here and I've made friends with some of them. It's nice to know I'm not the only on going through these problems and there are other people I can talk to.

Yes she has told them that i have AIDS and that i'm lying about my what is going on with me. And she has no problem telling people that she has looked into my medical records. i just want to really get her on tape saying it so i can sue the hospital she works at and get her fired so she won't be able to do it to other people.

I was diagnoised Christmas Eve of 09 I was devastated but....I told all my family,my closest friends.This is when you find out who your real friends are and family members that truely care about you.If they turn their backs on you these people truely dont need to be in your life anyways.As for your children if their not old enough to understand then wait a whlie till they are old enough to understand...I hope this helps ,I wish you the best....by the way NO ONE TURNED THEIR BACK ON ME,ONLY 1 friend did which is ok because I have enough friends and family to fill her void.......

Well I dn't plan on any of my friends becaus after I finish getting my degree I don't plan on ever seeing them again. Because in a way I already know how they would treat me from the way they talk about other people they know with that ae HIV positive. My only problem is my older sister telling everybody that I am. In a way I want to ruin her exactly like she is trying to ruin me. But I just feel vindicated knowing that I could end her career with just two phones. But then it's days where I hear she is teelling people she has looked in my records and that I'm lieing about my health issues.

Ceci71,

I have already told u my situation, and as u know i have not yet tested poz but that hasnt stopped me from telling my family, my closes friends and so far everyone has been very supportive. To this day my mom and my dad still join me to get tested and I am 29yrs old. I have always been very social, but I am also very strong and in the end I know the only person that I care about accepting me if things were to change would be my 6yr old son, cause he really is the only reason for living. Everyone else is welcomed to be part of my life and to support me but I could care less if they were to distance themselves from me. We still live in a world of ignorant people but I also believe that things have changed a bit regarding HIV. And if people dont know, then do what u can to educate them on how HIV is not transmited thru casual contact and in time they will come around. Take care!

Wow, your situation hits too close to home. I found out 13 years ago after my then ex-husband told me I needed to get checked because he found out he was pos. He had cheated on me during our marriage.
I told my mom and she was not very educated on the matter and had me using only plastic utinsils and plate ware etc when I went over there for a year. I quickly learned to not be hungry or thirsty over there and to just take my own bottled water. I was mortified.
I still have never told my children and only started admitting it to the hospital etc when i go in for things in the last year.
I have a brother who is a doctor and I told him a year ago and was was sad for me but has never changed how he treats me or anything.
I say just take it a day at a time and follow what your heart tells you.
Good luck

Thank you I think finding this support group has really help . Just knowing that their are people out there that is going through the same stuff I am whether it's dealing with the family or the medications. I just think god for just waking me up every morning. I realize two years ago that having this disease those not make who I am as a person. I am still the same person I was before I was diagnosis with it except a little more nicer. I went back to school and I am determine to finish my degree. And just the other day I found out that I made the Dean's List. So I am very happy about that right now. And just take the advice that every body tells me I 'm just going t take it one day at a time. Thank you and have a nice day