Mary, Don't stress about who you tell or don't tell. Everybody does NOT deserve to know. I'm going through the same thing thought process right now and am telling only a few friends. I'm not telling my parents (even though it was from a transfusion they will see it as the wrath of God upon me and not give me any peace). I am telling just one brother. Obviously I told my partner immediately ... and thank God, he tests as negative! You don't need the stress. You need to spend your time on understanding the next steps and improving your immune system. Don't give up!!

Mary,
I was thinking about you more. I didn't ask to have HIV either and I'm pissed about it ... and scared. I also know that no matter how it happened, it happened and now it's there and must be dealt with. It's so easy to want to pretend it's not true, that it couldn't be true, but the best thing we can do for ourselves is to face forward and decide that we're going to fight and going to live. We can still cry. We can still be angry and even want to kick someone or something around, but our face must still be looking to the future. For myself, I'm going to plan for the future but at the same take each moment as it comes ... to live in that moment and do what needs to be done right then. This has broght and is bringing a new perspective to what I do because I may not have all the moments I thought I was going to have. We must seize life even when it's hard and even when reality is brutal.

When I found out back in October I did tell my brother, and had not heard from him sence. This is really hard for me. I have stopped telling people, this people where friends I thought would understand, But my brother.
If you want in one or two of my journals, I have written how I became infected, and how I was dignose. So if you have time to read them, you will find out more.

Well, I did end up writing my brother & I also put in in my journal. I think it made me feel better in away I can't Describe.
Mary

You can try and patch things up with your brother, but I would say don't count on him. Make connections with other people. Build your own support network so you don't have to count on any one person. Friends and connections with people who know what you have are very important to your emotional well being as secrets eat at you. Expect a little predijuce. When you find it put it behind you. Find ways to test the waters before you tell someone. When you do tell someone they will have questions so educate yourself on the facts. As long as you do what you doctor tells you. You can live a long life. So be positive.

missmary,
I agree that everyone does not need to know and if your brother hasn't contacted you then maybe he's scared, angry, maybe even ashamed. I find that sometimes we are trying to help them cope with it when we are the ones living with it. You have done what you thought was right by telling him. I advise that you don't let it stress you out. If you must then say your peace and try and let it go. The stress will only hurt you.

Well, this is whats happening now after I wrote him, I did write him again and asked if he doesn't care. My brother wrote back and called back, he does care, and loves me. we are working it out.
Thanks for your comments.Mary

Maybe he just needed a good swift kick in the pants! I hope you can work things out with your brother. You would not care or stress out about it if you didn't love him!