The basis of worry is the lack of feeling safe. I had to dig into my origins given the kind of upbringing and do the job of developing a sense of internal safety in order to dissolve worry / anxiety. Not that this is 100% GONE but significantly reduced; No longer glued together with worry or anxiety.

pageo … "the basis of worry is the lack of feeling safe". I've never heard such a clear definition. So true & I wish I could develop the sense of internal safety you mention.

julchr … I also over think everything. It is exhausting. I understand how you feel. I haven't found the way to cope with this yet. I know that it helps to focus on something pleasant to distract the mind. It isn't a solution but rather a temporary rest. There is so much going on all the time. Like you, I want to have a peaceful mind.

Oh julchr I do the same.
It's been difficult for me to break the worrying and anxiety cycle as it's something I have done for years but I have tools that I use which I find are helping.

What Pageo said about
"Worry is the lack of feeling safe"
I think that applies to me a fair amount. And also "what if's" and anticipating things that haven't occurred and may not even occur. Control is another aspect of anxiety and worry. We want control and of course we don't have it. And it's learning to accept that.

I am sorry about your dog. I am a dog lover and can understand your concern. As they get older it's normal to have them. I hope your dog will be ok.

I can suggest something that I do and find most helpful WHEN I actually apply it. Of course it's reminding self to do it.
And that is to focus on present activity at hand.

I actually say things out aloud.

Driving is a common time for mind to wander and think about stuff.
And I will catch myself worrying and over thinking.

And I'll tell myself to STOP and bring my mind to what I'm doing and what I'm seeing and what I'm hearing.
So it will go something like this. I am saying this out aloud.

"I am sitting in my car, I can feel the seat beneath me, my hands are on the steering wheel, I am driving, I am looking out my window at the road ahead of me, three cars just passed me, there's a house on the corner, I can hear music on the radio, I can smell the air freshener, And so on...

And I tell you it gets me right out of the OCD type thinking and brings me right to the present moment.
It's really helpful.
You can do it wherever you are. When you go to bed because I know laying in bed is another place for brain to be thinking too much.
Bring attention to your senses. Touch, sight, sounds, smells.
You can say it in your head or out aloud. This is just an example of what you could bring your attention to

I'm laying in my bed
I'm laying on my side
I'm laying on the right side of my bed
My bed feels soft
My head is on the pillow
I can feel the sheets
They feel cool, smooth
I can hear the fan running
I can hear the furnace turn on
The furnace just turned off
I can see the painting on the wall
I can see my lamp
My lamp has flowers on it
I can hear my breathing
I can feel my body breathing in and out


You can observe as much detail as you desire to each thing.

I think it may help you to be more present and aware of your current surroundings
And while your mind is doing this it is having a break and rest from worrying and is using another part of the brain.
Another thing is muscle relaxation

You can bring attention to your body, and relax each body part as you think of it

Your head, allow it to sink into the pillow
Notice the muscles in your jaw, your face, are they tight or loose,
Relax if you feel tension anywhere, go through each body part one by one.

Your shoulders,
Arms,
Hands
Chest,
Back
Stomach
Hips,
Thighs,
Knees,
Calves
Feet

Observe each one notice how it feels, release tension and sink into your bed. Allow Your bed hold you up because it is.

You can do this sitting in a chair too.

I find I'm tense often

I bring attention to my body parts and realize how much tension I'm holding and I allow my body to sink into the chair I'm sitting in and am aware the chair is holding me.
My face is a common area I notice tension, jaw, teeth, lips, etc.
I notice a difference when I relax my facial muscles.

julchr,
I know what you mean, overthinking is why I don't sleep. When I try to sleep or take anap in the day time, I need time for my thoughts to slow down unless I'm really tired. When I get exhausted from over thinking I take a nap. I don't go to sleep right away but I do get into a state of slower thinking. Just laying down relieves some of that racing thinking.

Lack of feeling safe is a big reason I worry, plus thinking that I am doing something wrong, have done something wrong, or will. Insecurity is another big reason, Overthinking too much of the future can lead to anxiety, worry about something that has not happened.

Some things that sometimes help for me are
Telling myself to put worry aside for now- that IF and WHEN the thing I am worrying about now, ever happens, then I can worry all I want. That takes a little worry off

Another is to tell myself, will my worrying change anything, change what I am worrying about? Most always no.

Will what I'm worrying about now be important as it seems in one day? One week? Month? Year? Probably or maybe not

If it gets too exhausting, I will give myself a break, say to myself, that I will worry about this later right now I'm going to wash dishes, or vacuum, both of which help, the keeping busy, mind focused, mindful of the task.

These all are not any cure alls for me but they do help sometimes, I am still working too on dealing with the over thinking

Cwb1
That's some great self help brain train stuff there.
I do some of that but not all. I don't give myself permission or a time when I can worry. So maybe that's something I can add. Thanks for posting your self help tips.

Isn't it a pain that we have this. It's tiring.

Naturegirl, I was going to say the same about the muscle relaxation. I've done that and it's very helpful. You reminded me of it again, thanks, I hate how I get so into thinking that I forget what helps me to stop doing that. Thanks
The tips I posted I heard, read or was told, they gradually jelled into these few tips and lots of time I just forget! I over think and dont think to stop overthinking.
Yes, It's very tiring and I just want to scream sometimes. Yell. Go on a roller coaster, you know that really I think would be good, to just scream and ride a roller coaster, without a thought in my head except experiencing the moment and not analyzing, or racing thoughts, just observing, being, experiencing the sensations. Actually probably a roller coaster is a too extreme example but something like that, some kind of activity to be mindful of-and within that being oblivious to the chatter in my head, an ignorance is bliss.

julchr, I'm sorry about your dog, hope he will get better. That you were taking time to make sue your single friends and neighbors were okay, shows you to be very caring and sensitive, of course that is why you are here. I think, do you, and everybody that those qualities do make us worry, or overthink? We are thinking so much because our minds are overflowing with thoughts of others, caring for others, thinking about doing right by others for others (that is a biggie for me) overflowing with ideas, emotions, our senses are heightened, you think for you? sense of sound, sight, hearing, touch, taste, everything is magnified.

I am right there with all of you. Having been diagnosed with OCD, my mind just spins like I'm a hamster in a wheel. I am working on trying to find a way to keep a nice steady equilibrium in my mind where I feel peaceful and safe no matter what thoughts pop into my head or what happens outside me, but I haven't gotten there yet. I started using a SAD light for Seasonal Affective Disorder and I felt like this was beginning to help me and I was starting to sleep better, but then something was said that through off my equilibrium. This is one of the ways in which my OCD manifests. My fiance said that my light is just a placebo and after this, I have doubted the usefulness of my light. I feel easily invaded and contaminated by what others say and I feel like I allow it to ruin my peace of mind. It is a form of magical thinking. I guess it comes from not feeling like I have a steady sense of self. I grew up always trying to please others and be what they wanted me to be for them and it is scary for me to know that I can actually make myself into my own person because there is so much uncertainty there.
Also, my mom told me something over Thanksgiving about how OCD is just a lie that the masses believe and the reason people stay sick and take medication is because they all believe this lie. Now I am confused and i don't know what to believe or think. What she said is so different than what my therapist and doctor say and what I have learned in school as a clinical social worker. I feel stuck in limbo. The way my mind is, I feel like I can't relax until I find a solution to the problem. But I know this is part of the OCD cycle. I just have to live with the uncertainty, but I feel like it is a cloud lingering over my head that bothers me.
I think I need to finally get very specific help utilizing exposure and response prevention and cbt versus seeing a psychotherapist.

I am also worry about pregnancy. I want to get pregnant now, but I am on medication. I know I should come off it, but I worry I won't be able to function. I have researched this topic and many women have had healthy babies while being on the medication I am on. When I think of doing this though, i feel like a bad person and I feel guilty. I feel stuck in this decision. I know this topic might be controversial.

Although I sometimes suffer with obsessive thinking (which I haven't done in a long time). It makes me sad to see someone have that problem because I can relate with the person very well. It is agonizing and very painful.

Julchr, I sympathize, I stay up late often because I'm overthinking.
Yes it is wep, and can wear one out.
All I know is that any physical activity like walking, anything, walking around the home, doing chores, keeping busy. Then at night I'm too tired to think too much.

Wow this is really nice... I have also been diagnosed with OCD... & have been working through my need to feel safe... my need to control... I have learnt to keep saying to myself when I start over thinking... what did you just think about and clean that bit and also to say to myself... I am safe

Wep. I've always been obsessive thinking, it started early on. I was 12 when my parents came home from a 4th of July party, mom was drunk, and my father made me change her, get her ready for bed, I couldn't help her, she fell into the nightstand, and got a black eye. I didn't sleep all night, thinking about everyone who was coming over the next day, I didn't know how to prepare anything, etc. My mom was 'fine' the next day, got everything ready with my sisters and brothers, I just hid. Since that time, I'm OCD about family gatherings.

I do the same thing. It is exhausting.

I have been overthinking lately again. I just found out I'm pregnant and want to taper off meds. It has been difficult lately because I don't know if recent tapering is leading to withdrawal or if it is just my anticipation of it. This is how my mind seems to work. I can't seem to just let things be. Trouble sleeping. Feel overwhelmed, like I can't handle this. I have been through tough things before and came out okay. New situations always seem to freak me out and feel like I can't handle them. Being such a sensitive and often anxious person, how will I be able to take care of a child? I feel weak and incapable, but I know there is a strength there also. I just need to get through this rough patch and make sense of all my emotions and somehow sort out the thoughts, but recognize the ones I can let go of.