Highly Sensitive People HSP Community Group
The highly sensitive person (or HSP) is someone who cares deeply about everything ... feels emotions with great intensity ... is highly conscientious ... has a rich and complex inner life ... is very intuitive ... is often creative in a variety of ways... is easily overwhelmed and/or overstimulated. A HSP needs lots of quiet time,space, and freedom. If this sounds...
I've been quiet, missing from DS and just in my own world as of late. I haven't replied to personal message or much at all on the boards.
So many times, I just feel done with living. I know it's not really true, that I have my kids and so I manage. Just get tired of bombardment, feeling too much...and if you see the news, go out in life, be in any real manner, it is staggering. I just want to get away and basically hide from it all. This reminds me of a cousin of mine who told me years ago that he really had not wanted to have children, to bring them in to the future of this world.
My response back then was that if all those who notice, all those who are good, make this decision...what is left?
I get frustrated so much because so much of my struggle and stress is so much "of this world". As I've started over in life once again, not just at zero this time, but in the negative numbers...it is too much. For one that can barely comprehend such things as the worth of money in the first place, it is just not a happy position to be in.
I always think, if it were just me, I would live off the land or wander the earth and make it as I can. Children make the path a bit different.
Sometimes, I would love to....just relate/marry for financial purposes, be able to "switch" and use others, cause harm, do whatever just so my children do not have to suffer my material poverty. This, I cannot do.
I know that my no matter how much my children wish different or moan or ask for that which they know I cannot afford, they do know the freedom and love and amazing nature of our family and our love. But me, I want so much more for them and in truth for me.
I've worked hard, given all of me, and ended with only my soul and beliefs intact. I am guilty and proud and every emotion across the scale. My logical side realizes and accepts, the rest dreams and yearns. I am not always sure how to bring peace between these two worlds.
I feel like a suicidal fighter. When a web site asks about me, I always want to answer that I am everything and nothing and all that comes in between. I am settled and secure in who I am, yet fit no where and look around and have no desire to fit at all.
I guess it is true, I have no desire to live "here" or "now"....but I do want to live in a place where I can truly live.
So many times, I just feel done with living. I know it's not really true, that I have my kids and so I manage. Just get tired of bombardment, feeling too much...and if you see the news, go out in life, be in any real manner, it is staggering. I just want to get away and basically hide from it all. This reminds me of a cousin of mine who told me years ago that he really had not wanted to have children, to bring them in to the future of this world.
My response back then was that if all those who notice, all those who are good, make this decision...what is left?
I get frustrated so much because so much of my struggle and stress is so much "of this world". As I've started over in life once again, not just at zero this time, but in the negative numbers...it is too much. For one that can barely comprehend such things as the worth of money in the first place, it is just not a happy position to be in.
I always think, if it were just me, I would live off the land or wander the earth and make it as I can. Children make the path a bit different.
Sometimes, I would love to....just relate/marry for financial purposes, be able to "switch" and use others, cause harm, do whatever just so my children do not have to suffer my material poverty. This, I cannot do.
I know that my no matter how much my children wish different or moan or ask for that which they know I cannot afford, they do know the freedom and love and amazing nature of our family and our love. But me, I want so much more for them and in truth for me.
I've worked hard, given all of me, and ended with only my soul and beliefs intact. I am guilty and proud and every emotion across the scale. My logical side realizes and accepts, the rest dreams and yearns. I am not always sure how to bring peace between these two worlds.
I feel like a suicidal fighter. When a web site asks about me, I always want to answer that I am everything and nothing and all that comes in between. I am settled and secure in who I am, yet fit no where and look around and have no desire to fit at all.
I guess it is true, I have no desire to live "here" or "now"....but I do want to live in a place where I can truly live.
Your soul and beliefs intact is a very important thing I think and I feel similar in that the logic in us "realizes and accepts but the rest dreams and yearns".
I hope you find that place where you can truly live,,I really believe in hope and possibilities!
Hugs to you!
World War 2 ... "Keep calm and carry on". I'm not sure if that is good advice or not. Maybe, there is no other way. There is another quotation & I don't remember who said it "most people live lives of quiet desparation". Not a pleasant thought at all. I wish I knew a better way. My lilfe is rather easy compared to a lot of people but still "life seems to be one damn problem after another" (I think it was Sir Winston Churchill who said that) Sorry about the doom & gloom ... I have a horrible sinus infection & feelling sorry for myself.
Rania, you did get me thinking though ... is there a better way of living & what would that be?